The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 3.11.14

March 11th, 2014 // 380 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, your daily repository for the vileness flooding your brain while you do whatever it is you guys all do for a living. It’s elementary schoolteachers, right? I’m going with that. So while you make the kids braid their mother’s hair and make nativity dioramas (What? My mom teacher told me this is what everybody else was doing in class all day.), enjoy casting your judgement on Bruce Jenner who I’m now convinced has radiation poisoning, Hugh Jackman touching a man’s should–GAY!!!, and Pete Doherty in a pretty unremarkable photo unless you count the fact that he’s upright, out in daylight, and not deceased.

Wait, wait, HE’S THE YELLOW KIN– It’s over isn’t it? *slams door, runs to bedroom* I hate it here, I’m running away and I’m never coming back!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Prince Charles Kissing Queen Elizabeth On Cheek Commonwealth Day Observance Service Westminster Abbey
    Commented on this photo:

    you honestly have to wonder how many times a day the Queen leans in to Charles just to say “I’m not dead yet…”

  2. Macy Gray Crazy Hair Tyler Perrys The Single Moms Club Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like she’s doing the grumpy equivalent of going super Saiyan

  3. Nia Long Cleavage Tyler Perrys The Single Moms Club Premiere
    YadaYada
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s all take a second to appreciate this rack. Like fine wine, that Nia.

  4. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants SoulCycle
    Commented on this photo:

    Is SoulCycle a place you go to buy second hand souls? If so, Kim should stock up.

  5. Ricky Martin Hotel Window Rio
    Commented on this photo:

    Livin’ La Vida Homo

  6. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants SoulCycle
    Freebie
    Commented on this photo:

    Gravity is pulling on that fake butt. Pretty soon it will be lower than her knees.

  7. Pete Doherty
    broduhjenner
    Commented on this photo:

    ahhh, good to see pete’s keeping the 17th century original publication of goethe’s faust in such pristine condition. jk it’s cocaine

  8. Bruce Jenner Fucked Up Face Thinning Hair
    Pilin
    Commented on this photo:

    Those market flea mops really do the job!

  9. Nicki Minaj Cleavage Huge Ass Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    The best body our money could buy.

  10. Macy Gray Crazy Hair Tyler Perrys The Single Moms Club Premiere
    broduhjenner
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know don king and tyler perry even had a lovechild!!

  11. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants SoulCycle
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    It confuses me how, built as she is, she stays balanced on those little feet.
    OMG….is that her “talent”?

  12. Bill Cosby Funny Or Die Clubhouse Facebook Pop Up HQ SXSW Music Film Interactive Festival
    Pilin
    Commented on this photo:

    Cool, a funny or die sketch of Morgan Freeman…..

  13. Bruce Jenner Fucked Up Face Thinning Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    As much money as he’s made, you’d think he owned a mirror.

  14. Nicolas Cage Bead Necklace Rosario Dawson Joe Premiere SXSW Music Film Interactive Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Rosario Dawson’s a true angel – just look at her, supporting the mentally impaired. An angel, I tell ya.

  15. Julianne Hough Butt White Cutoff Jean Shorts Moving Truck
    Commented on this photo:

    That boy on the left should offer to help the man with the carpet.

  16. Bill Cosby Funny Or Die Clubhouse Facebook Pop Up HQ SXSW Music Film Interactive Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Die.

  17. Renee Zellweger UCSF Medical Center And The Painted Turtle
    broduhjenner
    Commented on this photo:

    so i take it she was the surprise? surprise! you look horrible.

  18. Ali Larter Cleavage Bony Chest See Through Top
    Pilin
    Commented on this photo:

    Sunbath for the first time.

  19. Macy Gray Crazy Hair Tyler Perrys The Single Moms Club Premiere
    Canudigit
    Commented on this photo:

    A troll reference was already made, but it does look like someone placed her between their two palms and rubbed them together really, really fast.

  20. Bruce Jenner Fucked Up Face Thinning Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    He should have known better than to use Donatella Versace’s plastic surgeon.

  21. Sean Penn Hiding Behind Large Package LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Nobody look at me… Except this grand portrait of myself and my good deeds…

  22. Rachel Ray Derpface Double Chin Live Q&A with Rachael Ray Philadelphia Flower Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “Then I slapped the sunglasses right off the back of Guy Fieri’s head!”

  23. Pete Doherty
    Pilin
    Commented on this photo:

    The most old drug addict survivor of entire world…..

  24. Billy Dee Williams Dancing With The Stars Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    I had no idea that barber’s smocks with no shirt was the style these days.

  25. Lisa Rinna Nipples Tanktop Yoga Pants
    Canudigit
    Commented on this photo:

    Enough already…..you’re a senior! Skinny versions of bingo wings are still bingo wings, and skeletor tits are just not becoming!

  26. Bill Cosby Funny Or Die Clubhouse Facebook Pop Up HQ SXSW Music Film Interactive Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Bazzle Bizzle Shanzzle… Oh good she’s passed out…

  27. Macy Gray Crazy Hair Tyler Perrys The Single Moms Club Premiere
    Hematoma
    Commented on this photo:

    Lost daughter of Don King.

  28. Pete Doherty
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s in the tube?! What’s in the tube!?!

  29. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants SoulCycle
    Commented on this photo:

    “Excuse me…Are my french fries ready yet?”

  30. Prince Charles Kissing Queen Elizabeth On Cheek Commonwealth Day Observance Service Westminster Abbey
    Commented on this photo:

    “You’re dead to me.”
    “No, you’re dead to ME.”

  31. Maxwell Taking Picture Of Woman In Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I see he’s taken the Joe Francis course on photography…

  32. Ali Larter Cleavage Bony Chest See Through Top
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa… she sure got a hungry baby!

  33. Melissa Molinaro Belly Midriff Legs Minskirt Style Fashion Week LA 7th Season
    Commented on this photo:

    Black satin diapers. Whatever works.

  34. Maitland Ward Cleavage Style Fashion Week LA 7th Season
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty sure this is one of Batman’s fetishes…

  35. Renee Zellweger UCSF Medical Center And The Painted Turtle
    Commented on this photo:

    You had me at Painted Turtle.

  36. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants SoulCycle
    Pok bites
    Commented on this photo:

    Columbus is right, earth and Kim ass is round

  37. Renee Zellweger UCSF Medical Center And The Painted Turtle
    Canudigit
    Commented on this photo:

    I think what happened to her face is called time.

  38. Nicolas Cage Bead Necklace Rosario Dawson Joe Premiere SXSW Music Film Interactive Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Alva, there is no one else in this entire office that I could possibly ask to share such a horrible job. You’re the lowest on the totem pole here, Alva. The lowest. Do you realize that? Every other secretary here has been here longer than you, Alva. Every one. And even if there was someone here who was here even one day longer than you, I still wouldn’t ask that person to partake in such a miserable job as long as you were around. That’s right, Alva. It’s a horrible, horrible job; sifting through old contract after old contract. I couldn’t think of a more horrible job if I wanted to. And you have to do it! You have to or I’ll fire you. You understand? Do you? Good.

  39. Pete Doherty
    Commented on this photo:

    Can we PLEASE get some scientists to study this guy for his meth-resistant DNA?

  40. Prince Charles Kissing Queen Elizabeth On Cheek Commonwealth Day Observance Service Westminster Abbey
    Commented on this photo:

    “Bollocks, she’s still breathing…”

  41. Demi Lovato Half Shaved Head Pink Hair Cowboys Sweatshirt
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know Wilmer Valderrama could produce pink jizz

  42. Pete Doherty
    J
    Commented on this photo:

    How is this guy even still alive?

  43. Bill Cosby Funny Or Die Clubhouse Facebook Pop Up HQ SXSW Music Film Interactive Festival
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “So then you cup one in breast in one hand, and tweak the nipple on the other breast with your other hand. Drives them wild every time, despite their protests otherwise.”

  44. Maxwell Taking Picture Of Woman In Bikini
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    I think they found the cream for their Oreo sandwich.

    (Racist or sexy? I can’t tell.)

  45. Bruce Jenner Fucked Up Face Thinning Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like the Chewbacca Kardashian has been squatting on his face for a few days

  46. Nicolas Cage Bead Necklace Rosario Dawson Joe Premiere SXSW Music Film Interactive Festival
    rican
    Commented on this photo:

    Gnome, Vampire’s kiss, his best work. Everything went downhill from there.

  47. Renee Zellweger UCSF Medical Center And The Painted Turtle
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Renee, Why the sour face?

  48. Bruce Jenner Fucked Up Face Thinning Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Remove the glasses, add some wooden teeth – ladies and gentlemen – the 1st president of the United States.

  49. Billy Dee Williams Dancing With The Stars Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    NOBODY PUTS LANDO IN THE CORNER

  50. Bruce Jenner Fucked Up Face Thinning Hair
    brick
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Larry King ran out of hair product.

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