Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where we now have definitive proof that Joaquin Pheonix smells as bad as he looks. We also learn that Bill Clinton‘s favorite movie character of all time was Chazz Reinhold in Wedding Crashers, and we see the beginning of a brand new fat little pig‘s journey. Oh shit, did I link the wrong pic back there? Oh well, finally, there’s just no way Gabourey Sidibe isn’t trying to eat this.
And if you said “Why, because it looks like a watermelon?” congratulations, you’re a racist,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Nothing like wearing “dad jeans” to a photo call. Classy.
She’s still so hot.
How much did that Biggie Smalls hologram cost? Hope to God they don’t charge by the weight.
Somebody’s smells shit and can’t find it, or feel it either.
Damn, that big black bitch be luvin’ her some watermelon!!
“And now ladies, ‘Its Not Unusual’ on the Jew’s harp.”
How about that, Robin Hood and Little John all in one pair of shorts.
“I got the green egg, now where is ham?”
If there were a few more frills on the outfit, she could be cast on Down Syndrome Abbey.
Sometimes, you REALLY have to tilt that microphone shaped gravy boat to get the last few drops out of the bottom.
If the Penguin looks this good, I CAN’T WAIT to see the new Batman!
I love her.
Baby fat.
But the Wonka life-sized lightsaber lollipop was no match for him.
If that button is to remind her where to put the lipstick . . .
I like to tuck mine in my belt too.
Hello again.
Hell yeah. Perfectly toned body.
I don’t get it.
He’s still here.
“…sigh…..The cute brother just HAD to be the one to OD. No. It couldn’t be the smelly, gimpy, hairlip….”
Looks perfect to me.
Only he could get boner at a funeral.
This is what Jeff Garlin would look like if he came from New Jersey.
He repeated each step, just as the witch had told him. Before nightfall, he would be Brad Pitt.
“What do you mean, ‘consummate’?”
Isn’t that a soup?
Poor thing.
don’t feel bad for her
She’s all like “let me walk out of the water all sexy and see if the famous notices. Maybe he’ll take me out for steak and vodka!”
His addictions had brought him low, and now he was left at the bottom, guarding B-listers, has-beens, and trust-funders. But he still had his mustache. No one could take that away from him.
That looks like Carrie Bradshaw: the Menopause years.
“Everlasting Gobstopper, my ass!”
There is something really androgynous about it.
Pssst…..yo Andy. Check out the one up there on the left. Now THAT’S a cankle!
He’s the one who’s the real monster. After all he’ll be the one she gets to kill all the dalmation puppies she collects.
Bo Shuudaaaa!!!!
Awwww! Anybody who doesn’t think this is cute is a rat bastard.
Holy fuck!?! What happened to Gerard Butler? That man was hot as balls in 300. Is it crack/meth? Or is it actually true that Jennifer Aniston sucks the lifeforce out of men?
….I got nuthin’….
“At least I’m not in denial. I’m talking to you, Rumer Willis in a bikini.”
There’s a really, really hot guy just waiting to bust out of that hobo.
I thought they only ate the faces?
“Hey! There’s no more toilet paper in the bathr- What the hell?”
Wow, Marie has really let herself go again, did another one of her kids jump out a window? That’s probably why Mormons have so fucking many.
Why is she always tying up her bikini bottom? Does this bitch not know how to tie a basic knot that will hold?
because it’s dick and balls are too heavy to keep that little bottom up on it’s own.
That mustache isn’t doing David Arquette any favors.
Would not want to be the assistant who gets to shave his pits.
If I were her…the things I’d do to myself….. I LOVE me some Katy Mixon.
Invisible piano.
“I told that kraut a fucking thousand times that I don’t roll on Shabbos!”
“When you’re LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!”
i thought that was a watermelon
JP, has fucked his world and acting career up just by the looks of him. How disappointing.