The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 2.5.13

Precious dropped the bowling ball and grabbed a mic.

This is not the Blue Whale women talk of.

Wow, she doesn’t look a day over a $100 hooker.

Dr. Eggman is that you?

I think I know where the union thugs hid Jimmy Hoffa

I’m not sure how, but she must be related to Chris Christie.

I’m not laughing. Not even penis laughing.

He’s a sword swallower now?

“CAN I GET FRIES WITH DIS ???!”

Who?

I wish we could super-impose an x-ray of his body to show where his actual hips are.

I bet his diet Cee Lo Green…foods that is.

Kim Kardashian has really started to show that baby bump

Do not go in there! Everybody’s talking about some creepy guy with red glasses.

These 2 look like the Carny Edition of What Not To Wear.

Must be a glitch. When he raises both arms, isn’t it supposed to expose the x-shaped bandages on his belly, so you can knock him out with one punch?

I would brush her bangs back SO HARD.

Holy FUCK, what happened to her??

Must be a glitch. When he raises both arms, isn’t it supposed to expose the x-shaped bandages on his belly, so you can knock him out with one punch?

We need more exclusive C Lo green posts.

This fat ugly fuck makes me feel so much better about myself.

“I just want to say…….I have some really AWFUL gas right now…ok?”

Whoo Hooo!!!!!!!!!! The California Rasins are makeing a come back!!!

As a connoisseur of muscle ass, I can say that she’s starting to let herself go here.

Drugs truly are ruining the African-American community.

Fat bastard.

When did Adam Levine grow a mustache?

What? Don’t you hang out in blurry forests wearing nothing but boxer-briefs too?

“Dis ball lookin’ delicious”

She wears more padding than the players in the NFL.

Not pictured – upset audience member Marie Osmond, shouting “Who the fuck is that on stage with you, Donny? And you’d better not tell me ‘she’s a little bit country’!”

Why can’t she ever tie the right side of her bikini? Who does it for all the other pics? Oh, I got it!! The get these shots when he leaves for lunch everyday. Crafty bastards….

This is where Wedding Crashers 2 starts off.

Looks like they botched the botox in the center of her forehead

I just love her to death. I’ve been mesmerized by her boob-moles since Silver Linings Playbook. It’s like the Alaska state flag on her chest, done in lovely little moles.

Holy Moly!!!

That smile, and Joaquin’s messy hair and loose tie, can only mean Sally dropped her infamous “Flying Nun” on Joaquin during the limo ride to the luncheon.

“OH MY GOD! Did he fart? Or is that the smell of death?”

Yep, definitely uneven. But spectacular nonetheless.

To think I’ve been wearing my belt in the wrong location all these years . . .

Not pictured: Port-a-potty just off camera in his line of sight.

You’re supposed to use a bowling ball that is 1/10th of your weight, so she should be using a 350 pound ball.

BILL: “Hey, Grandpa…you’re NEXT!”

Wonk eye

Which one of these doesn’t match the other? None of them – all three of them are pontificative, asshole liberals whose last name begin with the letter “C”.

Ask your buddy Arnold to go back in time and stop you and Demi from reproducing.

Hilaria: “Honey, will you rub suntan lotion on me?”
Alec: “SHUT THE @#@# UP, YOU STUPID @#$% ! CAN’T YOU SEE I’M PLAYING WORDS WITH FRIENDS!?!”

Queen Elizabeth…the Early Years

She’s fucking sexy.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the world’s fattest jerk off…who can’t jerk off. Letterman had him as a guest to illustrate to the dozens of people who still watch his shite show how stupid the GOP can truly be. And this boorish, attention-seeking oaf fell for it lock, stock and barrel. Good job, fatso. Way to embarrass yourself AGAIN…this time at the hand’s of America’s least funny late-night TV host.

Good God…I wonder if she’s jealous of Lana’s hands…

“Yippee-ki-yay, causual Tuesday.”