The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 2.11.14

February 11th, 2014 // 299 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which continues my series ‘I Hope To Christ Jonah Hill And Leonardo DiCaprio Never Stop Promoting This Movie.’ I haven’t seen infatuation like this since Fish was forcibly removed from Toys “R” Us for attempting to shove an entire Lego Avengers Quinjet up his ass. Ok, Aaron Paul‘s coming in at a close second with Larry King in a distant third because there’s an argument to be made that he thought that was Mischa Barton standing next to him.

Final Five‘s back today, but you’re probably not going to be very happy about it,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, WENN

superficial

  1. Rihanna Topless Hands Covering Tits Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    So edgy.

  2. Larry King Kissing Susan Sarandon Bra See Through Blouse Open Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s hard to know the proper etiquette when someone falls asleep mid-smooch.

  3. Matt Damon George Clooney Jean Dujardin Earpiece Tranlators Che Tempo Che Fa Italian TV Show
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    “George, you acted with Matt in Syriana, all thirteen of the Ocean’s franchise and now you’ve brought him into your production of the Monuments Men. It all invites this question: if you had to estimate it, how gay would you say you are for Matt?”

  4. Billy Crystal Tommy Lasorda Clippers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “So, Billy, so listen, while the popcorn guy is filling my bag, he asks me how I’m doing. So I say, ‘Listen, you’re not paid to fucking ask how the fuck you think I am! What the fuck is it to you? I’ll tell you how I am, I’m shitty, because I’m standing in this line with my goddamn shoes half-stuck to the sticky-ass floor talking to some idiot instead of sitting court side with Billy Crystal! Yeah, that’s right! Billy fucking Crystal! ‘ And the popcorn guy says, ‘Forget Paris! He was a basketball ref.’ So I says, ‘Forget Paris? I never knew him in the first place!’ Fucking idiot, amirite?”
    “Oy.”

  5. Nicki Minaj Nipple Pasties See Through Dress Instagram
    cmonreally
    Commented on this photo:

    …………really? Five photos of Nicki Minaj?

  6. Colin Farrell Sleepy Eyes GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    “And when we come back, Colin Farrell talks about life after the stroke.”

  7. Brooke Shields Ducklips Blue Steel Face Mr Peabody And Sherman Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t really figure out a joke here, but I’m in love with the alliteration in the term “Peabody’s Postpartum Depression Pose”.

  8. Rihanna Topless Hands Covering Tits Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    “I hereby call this meeting of the Loyal Order of Moose to order. Sister Farrah, could you read the minutes from the last meeting?”

  9. Nicki Minaj Nipple Pasties See Through Dress Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    her surgeon can’t reveal how he augmented her body, but he did say 8 monkeys went into the operating room with her, and only 5 came out.

  10. Billy Crystal Tommy Lasorda Clippers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, Tommy, whatever happened to “a shake for breakfast and a shake for lunch, followed by a sensible meal”?

  11. Aaron Paul Imogen Poots Toni Collette Pierce Brosnan A Long Way Down Photo Call 64th Berlinale International Film Festival
    Kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    Aaron Paul. Would.

  12. Matt Damon George Clooney Jean Dujardin Earpiece Tranlators Che Tempo Che Fa Italian TV Show
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mr Clooney, did you enjoy getting the chance to reunite with your former Ocean’s 11 cast mate for Monument Men?”
    “Remember what Mr. Hallorann said… it’s just like pictures in a book George… it isn’t real.”

  13. Katie Holmes Nipples Leather Dress Donna Karan Show Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    How has no one mentioned the transparent skirt yet?

  14. Paris Hilton Nipples Alice + Olivia Presentation Fashion Week
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    She seems to be developing the same eye problem thats been plaguing Woody Allen.

    • She has always had the eye problem. Look at any picture of her over the past decade.

      • South Park played up her droopy eye in the episode “Stupid Spoiled Whore”.

        I literally can’t remember anyone’s name 10 seconds after meeting them, but I can recite South Park episodes from 10 years ago verbatim. What the fuck brain?

      • malaka

        ITS CANADAAAAAAAAAA
        ON STRIKE!!!

      • Someone sung a line from ‘Uncle Fucker’ at work today and I lapsed into the entire song, able to sing it word for word … but when asked how old I am going through customs I have to stop and think about it …

  15. Taylor Swift Cleavage Legs Short Shorts 02 Arena Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally! Some serious competition for Steve Martin!

  16. Drew Barrymore Yellow Teeth Book Signing Barnes & Noble
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Two Brooke Shields pictures today! For shame.

  17. Katie Holmes Nipples Leather Dress Donna Karan Show Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look! I’m the girl with no spine!”
    “And look! I’M the man with no neck!”

  18. Amber Rose Huge Butt Mom Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if the carpet matches the drapes?

  19. Prince Charles Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall BBC Studios
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Maxwell Sheffield, you tramp!

  20. Brooke Shields Ducklips Blue Steel Face Mr Peabody And Sherman Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    “Suddenly, Sherman”

  21. Taylor Swift Cleavage Legs Short Shorts 02 Arena Performance
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    Right BB!

    It’s hard to look “badass rock and roll” when you’re sporting a Roy Clark relic….

    • Urbanspaceman

      It’s hard to look “badass rock and roll” while wearing something that looks like it was taken out of a figure skater’s trash, complete with the flesh-tone piece of modesty-fabric.

  22. Katie Holmes Nipples Leather Dress Donna Karan Show Fashion Week
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m thinking it’s Bells Palsy.

  23. Shia LaBeouf Filthy Clothes Skinny Pants Tucked Into Boots Purple Socks NYPD Hoodie
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    Can we agree to never, ever, ever click his photos so they stop posting them?

  24. Shia LaBeouf Filthy Clothes Skinny Pants Tucked Into Boots Purple Socks NYPD Hoodie
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t believe he plagiarized Murray Langston.

  25. Nicki Minaj Nipple Pasties See Through Dress Instagram
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    So if someone put on blackface for a music video, do you think she might get a little offended?

    • absolute nothing

      why? Nikki’s been doing whiteface ever since kim kardashians ass was decided to be considered hot

  26. Prince Charles Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall BBC Studios
    maoix
    Commented on this photo:

    Does a tailor cost a king’s ransom or something over there?

  27. Colin Farrell Sleepy Eyes GMA
    Weeblo
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoever smelt it dealt it

  28. Larry King Kissing Susan Sarandon Bra See Through Blouse Open Jacket
    Weeblo
    Commented on this photo:

    Tim Robins hasn’t aged well

  29. Leeza Gibbons Nipples See Through Dress RoboCop LA Premiere
    Weeblo
    Commented on this photo:

    Back inthe ’90s Ida ridden her hard, but not now she look like she done

  30. Shia LaBeouf Filthy Clothes Skinny Pants Tucked Into Boots Purple Socks NYPD Hoodie
    Commented on this photo:

    That locked briefcase has stolen screenplays in it.

  31. Jonah Hill Lovingly Gazing At Leonardo DiCaprio Terence Winter The Wolf Of Wall Street Screening
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    “So then Leo raises his hand like this, and the next thing I know Nina Agdal leaves her boyfriend and shows up in his car five minutes later!”

  32. Taylor Swift Cleavage Legs Short Shorts 02 Arena Performance
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    “He ate a crocodile!”

  33. Colin Farrell Sleepy Eyes GMA
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    “Are you talkin’ to me?”

  34. Amber Rose Huge Butt Mom Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry, it’s just a fat ass.

  35. Prince Charles Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall BBC Studios
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice pimp suit.

  36. Shia LaBeouf Filthy Clothes Skinny Pants Tucked Into Boots Purple Socks NYPD Hoodie
    Commented on this photo:

    The suitcase must be for his pillow because he wears the same stinky-ass outfit every day.

  37. Nicki Minaj Nipple Pasties See Through Dress Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s still got that whiny fucking voice.

  38. Jonah Hill Lovingly Gazing At Leonardo DiCaprio Terence Winter The Wolf Of Wall Street Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    “So Leo, how are you going to break it to Jonah that he can’t come home with you tonight?’

    “Well Terrence, ha ha ha”

  39. Aaron Paul Imogen Poots Toni Collette Pierce Brosnan A Long Way Down Photo Call 64th Berlinale International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    “If I keep smiling they won’t notice I am not Jennifer Lawrence and he is not Bradley Cooper”

  40. Brenda Song Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    She is so damn sexy, too bad she dates shitty men.

  41. Nicki Minaj Nipple Pasties See Through Dress Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like a desolate, God forsaken salt flat, out in the middle of nowhere. Good, stay there and wait for the next 600 mph bus to hit you.

  42. Prince Charles Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall BBC Studios
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    Are monarch’s hearts on the other side or is he just confused by the life passing out of him?

  43. Prince Charles Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall BBC Studios
    Commented on this photo:

    “Spectacle, testicles, wallet…SHIT!”

  44. Matt Damon George Clooney Jean Dujardin Earpiece Tranlators Che Tempo Che Fa Italian TV Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m crushing your head.”

  45. Aaron Paul Imogen Poots Toni Collette Pierce Brosnan A Long Way Down Photo Call 64th Berlinale International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    … and I’ma Gonna POOTS all over you!!! wahahah!!!

  46. Aaron Paul Imogen Poots Toni Collette Pierce Brosnan A Long Way Down Photo Call 64th Berlinale International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Imogen Poots sounds like the name of a character in some Disney movie.

  47. Larry King Kissing Susan Sarandon Bra See Through Blouse Open Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    Susan’s thought bubble: “a kiss from someone my age… BLECCCCHHHHH”

  48. Rihanna Topless Hands Covering Tits Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    She could’ve used that rape whistle a few years ago when she kept hitting Chris Brown’s fist.

  49. Jonah Hill Lovingly Gazing At Leonardo DiCaprio Terence Winter The Wolf Of Wall Street Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    “Leo, what is it like working with Martin?”
    “Hey hey-real quick, I haven’t washed my hand since I met Leo!”
    “That’s, that’s nice Jonah. Thank you.”

  50. Mark Wahlberg The Gambler Set Giant Cue Card
    Commented on this photo:

    “Reproductive combat” ?

    • There are some species of frogs where the female is like 10X the size of the males. Multiple male frogs climb on the females back and just start squirting jizz when the female is pushing out eggs. It is a form of reproductive combat, that selects for frogs with big nuts so they can bust bigger loads.

    • Slappy Magoo

      Seems like whoever’s talking to Wahlberg is playing a guy explaining why he got married – the woman he married had another guy trying to court her, so he married her to deny the other guy a place to dump his load. Thus “reproductive combat.”

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