Not Pictured: Chris Brown‘s penis as a straw. (It’s the only logical progression.)
Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where you get treated to not just one, but three shots from something called James Argent’s Charity TOWIE Live Show event which I’m just going to casually assume is some sort of British hooker prom. We’ve also got Corey Feldman who amazingly still has enough money and/or left over drugs from the 80′s to pull this off, Will.i.am suddenly forced to rethink his dinner outfit, and finally, Kim Kardashian trying to pull the focus away from that huge herp on her lip yesterday.
Remember that guys? Just yesterday, when Kim Kardashian had a giant herp on her lip,
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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
Jazz Hands!
Or jizz hands.
with stink finger
Olivia just farted and Gerard knows it.
Women don’t fart. everybody knows that.
It’s interactive. Viewers can dress up like masseuses and pretend Travolta is reaching for their junks.
What a cute little foal!
Rihanna, why are you hiding your eye… oh… never mind…”
At least he’s finally covering up her face. Hiding bruises you say? I say either way it’s an improvement.
Dr. Phil?
You know Travolta paid them for a replica…
Could they gay this up a bit more?
I still would fuck the brakes off her.
Since the voting option has locked (typical), I will say it – “Thumbs down”
The old “I banged her in the bathroom” smile.
Stellar job at capturing the gay!
If this is all it takes to win in visual arts, then… uhmmm what was I saying? Boobs, right…
She’s wearing the wrong hat.
She confused that one with her “Attention Whore” hat.
Papp: “You know we can see your date’s nipples, right?”
The wax hair looks way more realistic.
She has to wear her hair in a bun to hide the 3 pounds of extra skin.
“I need your soul!!!”
Swish!
I’d say this is how she keeps from looking old, but then… it apparently isn’t working.
So the Turner Prize is an award for diamond-cutters?
“Stop your whining or I’ll kick you with a hind leg!”
“Your Halle was valued at 56 million, but that’s market price. The economy is slow, she’s going to take forever to sell, I’ll have to build a display case, have her restored….you know, the crazy bitch market is down, too. Then there’s the auction house cut. Three years ago, hell, I’d give you 30 million.
I’ll give you 300 bucks for her.”
For a second I thought this was Kim Kardashian, and I was like.. “Omg she finally went on a diet and got on a treadmill!”
I also thought it was Kim before I scrolled down and saw her ass. There’s no way Kim’s ever getting hers to be even half this size (literally).
“She’s a normal client. She’s not crazy. She’s not crazy! Happy place…”
It’s not a tumoh!!
That is the most perfect match with a background I’ve ever seen, person or object.
Apple store? Really dude? You just lost cool points.
“mmmmm chocolate farts from heaven”
Oh, man. Chris Brown’s going to beat the shit out of her for wearing his hat.
I really hope this is for a role…
It worked for U Boats, and it works for her baby bump too.
That’s odd…”Chris Brown’s” isn’t spelled s-u-p-r-e-m-e.
Has she not read the Onion’s report about the traume of horse bites among infants?
http://www.theonion.com/video/shocking-report-says-even-the-smallest-horse-bite,30605/
She keeps this up and she’s gonna make Kim look like an upgrade…
Even the wax version of Travolta wants to molest me.
Going to Schwarzenegger’s stylist, I see.
Olivia Munn (thinking): I would blow either of these two to get a part.
Gerard Butler (thinking): Either of these two would blow me.
Jay Leno (thinking): I blow.
No, I don’t “like” this. I “LOVE” this!
excellent
“Dude, step back, I’m telling ya. When I let it out, its really big and its got a mind of its own.”
Frankenstein’s bride… and that lady with the white streak…
Her friend looks happier than a witch in a broom factory.
Holy crap. Did I, err, he get old.
“..and then I just dodged like this, and it totally missed. I still can’t eat shrimp though”
I would love to see her on The Human Centipede 3
But no one will ever believe you.
“gross dude”
“seriously, smell my dick – it still has a bit of Heidi on it. I don’t wash often.”
Based upon this picture, dating Kanye is like the 5th worst thing about her.
This looks like a painting you would find on the wall of the most haunted goddamned house in history.
You know it’s bad for Russel Brand when even Will.i.am rolls his eyes at him…
Using a Vulcan mind meld to suck the youth out of your kid for your own diabolical purposes is just wrong.
holy children of the corn…between the dead-eye stares and the nipples, I can’t look away
Well, it is an award for visual artists…and the cognitive dissonance between her droid-like stare and her pointy “let’s-play-cause-it’s-about-to-be-naked-time” nipples is pure genius.
“Now that I no longer play a police officer in the Special Victims unit, I can finally grow the child-molester ‘stache I’ve wanted for so long.”
I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE APPLES!!!!!