The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 12.3.13

December 3rd, 2013 // 363 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, your daily repository for hate-filled angst against celebrities who deserve it because they’re richer than you. That, and they’re sometimes Shawn White about to put his ankles behind his ears on a sled. Please leave all “Mr. Jackman, your order’s ready,” or “Seconds later Tom Cruise materialized out of thin air dressed as a pantsless elf” comments for our consideration. We also look forward to the following completely erroneous dialogue contributed to this picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger: “Wait, did you just say housekeeping convention?” and “GET TO DA CHOPPAH FUCK IS THAT KID MINE TOO?!”

*looks up at Emily Ratajkowski pic, looks down at written words, walks away slowly to sad Charlie Brown music,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Arnold Schwarzenegger Surprised Look Escape Plan Stage Greeting
    Commented on this photo:

    “I luv de smell of Lysol in de Morning!”

  2. Tom Jones Kate Moss
    Commented on this photo:

    Even Tom Jones has to take out the trash.

  3. Robert Pattinson Red Tinted Glasses LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Photographer: “Robert, will you be making any good movies?”
    Robert: “Well, I was in Twilight.”
    Photographer: “I said good movies”

  4. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Huh?
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder what band she is breaking up…

  5. Donnie Wahlberg Blue Bloods Set
    Johnny Barbells
    Commented on this photo:

    “OOOOHHHHHHH, SHE TOLD YOU!!!”

    …yeah, i’m topical like that.

  6. Jennifer Garner Feeding Horse Holding Son Samuel
    Moneypenny
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m still waiting for people to comment on why their son looks exactly like Matt Damon.

  7. Emily Ratajkowski Nipples See Through Shirt GQ
    Interred Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    At first glance, this could be Cindy Crawford, although Cindy’s not assembled quite as awesomely as this chick. I can’t give her the flawless rating most seem to want to, though….there’s something harsh about her face….not that I would notice, as I explored everything south of that….to the point of dehydration or unconsciousness

  8. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    Zombie Mitch Hedberg is just begging for someone to shoot him in the face. Or her. Anything. Anything but this.

  9. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dress Zoe Saldana Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, Zoe. I understand.

  10. Tom Sizemore Open Zipper
    Commented on this photo:

    Seize more blow.

  11. Kelly Rowland Butt Tight Dress Winter Ball For Autism
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice, nice, nice.

  12. Kelly Brook Cleavage British Fashion Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s like ice cream: no matter the occasion or the circumstances, she’s always good news.

  13. Arnold Schwarzenegger Surprised Look Escape Plan Stage Greeting
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ahhh ze vacuum cleanuhs ! Vat beautiful music dey make !”

  14. Gerard Butler Laughing Signing Autograph LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude is a Level 12 master in the art of looking unwashed.

  15. Tom Jones Kate Moss
    Commented on this photo:

    “She’s a L-” hahaha, no, seriously guys, I can’t.

  16. Robert Pattinson Red Tinted Glasses LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    I just noticed he’d make a pretty decent John Lennon.

  17. Will.i.am Goofy Clothes Gold Shoes
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, I see his shtick now: constantly wear the most outrageously stupid-looking shit so one day you go out wearing this and people go “Oh, he’s looking pretty sharp today”.

  18. Selena Gomez Nipples Cleavage No Bra Kiss FM Jingle Ball Dallas
    TittyPolice
    Commented on this photo:

    One: I’d hit that all day.
    Two: I’d hit that all night.
    Three: She like other celebs, prolly gets probed by HIV infested male porn stars all the time.
    Four: I’d still hit that.

  19. Will.i.am Goofy Clothes Gold Shoes
    Mista Snazzy
    Commented on this photo:

    Will.I.Douche

  20. Pope Francis Touching Priests Arm Vatican Library
    TittyPolice
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mr.Jackson is Dead?? Now that there is no competition, I’m gonna have to bless all these little children with my holy cock.”

    Only the Pope can pull off a gangsta look with that cross without ppl noticing lol.

  21. Tom Sizemore Open Zipper
    brick
    Commented on this photo:

    Sizemore needs moresize!

  22. Naomie Harris Nipples Cleavage No Bra Mandela Long Walk To Freedom Paris Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Could have sworn this was Tatyana Ali

  23. Cameron Diaz Derpface Annie Set
    Commented on this photo:

    I think we can all collectively and conclusively say now that “No, there really isn’t anything about Mary.”

  24. Emily Ratajkowski Nipples See Through Shirt GQ
    JD
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m eventually probably going to have to Google her and figure out who the hell she is. Until then, I’ll just keep enjoying the pics.

  25. Kelly Brook Cleavage British Fashion Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I imagine her attendance at that event significantly enhances the turnout. I know it would make all the difference to me.

  26. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Paully Boston Baby!
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m just connecting dots here: Don’t know Paz, but saw a story she threw a tantrum on set of whateva show she was on recently and was shitcanned. Now I see her and Uncle Druggie over here and it’s pretty transparent whats up. Paz, ya coulda done alot better though. Both w quality of dude and quality of drugs.

  27. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    You just know there are some new bacteria on these two that have not been discovered.

  28. Gerard Butler Laughing Signing Autograph LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    ” You should see my erection I have its at a full 3 inches! “

  29. Jennifer Garner Feeding Horse Holding Son Samuel
    PassingTrue
    Commented on this photo:

    Why the long face?

  30. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Jessica Edstrom
    PassingTrue
    Commented on this photo:

    Yep. Brought the hooker shoes to the beach.

  31. Arnold Schwarzenegger Surprised Look Escape Plan Stage Greeting
    Judd
    Commented on this photo:

    dats zee best blow ize dunn in years

  32. F Murray Abraham Canoodling With Sarita Choudhury 23rd Annual Gotham Independent Film Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus, is EVERYBODY fucking Saul’s wife?

  33. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s dating Nigel from ‘Spinal Tap’?

  34. Aubrey ODay Underboob Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    It says, “If you can read this, you have Herpes.”

  35. Tom Jones Kate Moss
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, sure Kate – you’re having a great time together now, but wait until the 9th time he belts out ‘What’s new pussycat’.

  36. Emily Ratajkowski Nipples See Through Shirt GQ
    yumm
    Commented on this photo:

    I am Emily Brook .

  37. Rose McIver Butt Tight Minidress The Hobbit The Desolation of Smaug LA Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    so she’s got a ‘B” tattooed on her left cheek and a ‘T’ tattooed on her right cheek, and when she bends *way* over it spells out…

  38. Jennifer Garner Feeding Horse Holding Son Samuel
    Commented on this photo:

    The horse looks like he’s about to bite someone.

  39. Rose McIver Butt Tight Minidress The Hobbit The Desolation of Smaug LA Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d desolate that all night and day.

  40. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Dr. Neanderthal
    Commented on this photo:

    so I suppose in this case “bumping uglies” could refer to any and all physical contact

  41. Will.i.am Goofy Clothes Gold Shoes
    Really ?
    Commented on this photo:

    Now I know that some of the American people feel that the ‘special relationship’ with the UK is in some manners a one-way concept. May this stand testament to our island nations suffering for the greater good of you, our American brothers in arms.

    PS: Thanks for making sure that Celine flight went to Paris, we can only bear so much.

  42. Will.i.am Goofy Clothes Gold Shoes
    Really ?
    Commented on this photo:

    Now I know that some of the American people feel that the ‘special relationship’ with the UK is in some manners a one-way concept. May this stand testament to our island nations suffering for the greater good of you, our American brothers in arms.

    PS: Thanks for making sure that Celine flight went to Paris, we can only bear so much.

  43. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    Paz is understandably distressed, as someone has very recently sprayed her with Pam and put her on a skillet.

  44. Selena Gomez Nipples Cleavage No Bra Kiss FM Jingle Ball Dallas
    martina
    Commented on this photo:

    Why bother with that faux cleavage stuff – just show the bikini ass

  45. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dress Zoe Saldana Extra
    martina
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my! mmmmmmmmmm
    Zoe and miliions of men and women agree – we’ve got to get together and do Maria’s ass.

  46. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    sad trombone.

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