The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 12.3.13

December 3rd, 2013 // 363 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, your daily repository for hate-filled angst against celebrities who deserve it because they’re richer than you. That, and they’re sometimes Shawn White about to put his ankles behind his ears on a sled. Please leave all “Mr. Jackman, your order’s ready,” or “Seconds later Tom Cruise materialized out of thin air dressed as a pantsless elf” comments for our consideration. We also look forward to the following completely erroneous dialogue contributed to this picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger: “Wait, did you just say housekeeping convention?” and “GET TO DA CHOPPAH FUCK IS THAT KID MINE TOO?!”

*looks up at Emily Ratajkowski pic, looks down at written words, walks away slowly to sad Charlie Brown music,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Celine Dion Playing Ukulele
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s the girl on the right, Forehead McGums?

  2. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    caley
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, The Walking Dead’s over for a while! These two are late to the party!

  3. Jennifer Garner Feeding Horse Holding Son Samuel
    Commented on this photo:

    A white baby with Uggs. Looks like someone’s trying to get rescued.

  4. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dress Zoe Saldana Extra
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s Maria Menounos? I thought it was the anorexic Kardashian.

  5. Cameron Diaz Derpface Annie Set
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    “IT’S A HARD KNOCK LIFE FOR ME!”

    “Uh, Cameron, they actually ended rehearsal 2 hours ago. And that’s not even your song in the play. And you’re walking down the street. And I think the police are following us.”

    “IT’S A HARD KNOCK LIFE FOR ME!”

  6. Tom Jones Kate Moss
    Commented on this photo:

    That hairline is definitely unusual.

  7. Shaun White Sled BestSnowdayEver With Target And Shaun White At LA Live
    Commented on this photo:

    That Opie dead-eyed piece of shit.

  8. Robert Pattinson Red Tinted Glasses LAX
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, did any of you see Tom Sizemore come through here earlier? He was supposed to meet me in the bathroom.

  9. Rose McIver Butt Tight Minidress The Hobbit The Desolation of Smaug LA Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Might have to get more of this one…

  10. Tom Jones Kate Moss
    Commented on this photo:

    “I loved your work in ‘March of the Penguins.’”

    “I loved your work in ‘Basic Instinct.’”

  11. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Jessica Edstrom
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently there’s a moderately fit housewife fetish I wasn’t made aware of.

  12. Tracy Anderson Midriff Workout Clothes Ugg Boots Holding Kid ABC Studios
    caley
    Commented on this photo:

    I had to google who this was and was disappointed when the result wasn’t “Real-life counterpart to Daisy Duck”.

  13. Sienna Miller Nipples Cleavage British Fashion Awards
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh sweetie, don’t worry. They’ll grow out once you hit puberty.

  14. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dress Zoe Saldana Extra
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Does Maria Menounos even have a face?

  15. Jennifer Garner Feeding Horse Holding Son Samuel
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not a horse mouth, you’re the horse mouth.

  16. Tracy Anderson Midriff Workout Clothes Ugg Boots Holding Kid ABC Studios
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    “It’s actually January Jones’ kid. I found him in a dumpster.”

  17. Aubrey ODay Underboob Instagram
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Aubrey Kardashian ?
    BeyoncĂ© O’Day ?
    Kimbreyonce KarDay ?

  18. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    yeookay
    Commented on this photo:

    Kurt Cobain Lives!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. Shaun White Sled BestSnowdayEver With Target And Shaun White At LA Live
    Commented on this photo:

    With the start of winter only a few weeks away, both Shawn and his toboggan are coming out of the closet.

  20. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    I have to know his pick up line.

  21. Rose McIver Butt Tight Minidress The Hobbit The Desolation of Smaug LA Premiere
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is it that every chick in Hollywood thinks there is some
    kind of obligatory “ass shot” when the cameras start flashing ?

  22. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    “Maybe your cunny isn’t quite the draw you think it is.”

  23. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    That is one clammy relationship.

  24. Rita Ora Cleavage British Fashion Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Should have take a picture of the actual blonde on her left.

  25. Cameron Diaz Derpface Annie Set
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    Ay curmba! Baning A-Rod must put 10 years on a chick.

  26. Tom Sizemore Open Zipper
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice Uncle Pants, Tom.

  27. Selena Gomez Nipples Cleavage No Bra Kiss FM Jingle Ball Dallas
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Seen here answering the question, “Who’s the cutest little lady with the cutest chubby cheeks?” And the follow-up, “Who is she?”

  28. Emily Ratajkowski Nipples See Through Shirt GQ
    Commented on this photo:

    I have never heard her talk. Why spoil a good thing?

  29. Donnie Wahlberg Blue Bloods Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Stupid! You’re so stupiiiid!”

  30. Kelly Rowland Butt Tight Dress Winter Ball For Autism
    Stacy
    Commented on this photo:

    Screw it. I am going to another site. Those fucked up YouTube adds will not go away. Fuck you Fish. You Liberal hypocrite.

  31. Sienna Miller Nipples Cleavage British Fashion Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s pretty hot.

  32. Tracy Anderson Midriff Workout Clothes Ugg Boots Holding Kid ABC Studios
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know who this is, but hey, nipples.

    • This is the chick that a bunch of famous chicks that you want to bang paid to make them look like you would really want to bang them.

  33. Kelly Rowland Butt Tight Dress Winter Ball For Autism
    cory
    Commented on this photo:

    Way hotter than Beyonce!

  34. Aubrey ODay Underboob Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    She really re-invented herself and is looking great these days. This is spank bank material right here.

  35. Emily Ratajkowski Nipples See Through Shirt GQ
    Terry Richardson, I presume?
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmm, let’s see. Model photo against a white background. Terry Richardson? Can’t that asshole at least switch to a light blue or green once in awhile? That being stated, me likes ‘dem titties. I like the teet to stick out a ‘lil more, but not complianin’.

  36. Emily Ratajkowski Nipples See Through Shirt GQ
    Commented on this photo:

    Screw your “view full size” Fish, I want “rotate”!

  37. Rose McIver Butt Tight Minidress The Hobbit The Desolation of Smaug LA Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s pretty. Gonna have to look her up.

  38. Selena Gomez Nipples Cleavage No Bra Kiss FM Jingle Ball Dallas
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m getting a Rachel Ray vibe here.

  39. Shaun White Sled BestSnowdayEver With Target And Shaun White At LA Live
    Commented on this photo:

    Stay tuned for “Shaun White: A Sellout’s Christmas”

  40. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Spaz de la Hurtya: ‘Baby, your hair looks real greasy. You gotta wash it when we get home’.
    Boyfriend: ‘I already did, but you rubbed your face on it in the bar after your 12th bourbon, remember?’
    Spaz: ‘I will fucking CUT you!!!!’

  41. Selena Gomez Nipples Cleavage No Bra Kiss FM Jingle Ball Dallas
    Commented on this photo:

    Those chubby cheeks don’t jive well with the tiny boobs. Middle age is going to wreck her like a sleepy NY train engineer.

  42. Emily Ratajkowski Nipples See Through Shirt GQ
    Commented on this photo:

    She is an inspiration to me, the way she’s dealt with her clothing allergy by…not fighting it at all. Stay strong, Emily, stay strong!

  43. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall Zombie Annual ICAP Charity Day
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Yes, that’s right, I’ve found my replacement for the glue factory.
    She’s right here in front of me… send the lorry to fetch her.
    Cheerio!’
    (phew! safe for another year…)

  44. Donnie Wahlberg Blue Bloods Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Oooooohmigod, guys, you gotta hear this guy’s impression of Mark Wahlberg!

  45. Tom Jones Kate Moss
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Usually, aging celebs get face lifts.
    Tom decided to have the lower half of his face lowered.
    Ah, the Welsh!
    Gotta love their quirky ways…

  46. Tom Sizemore Open Zipper
    Commented on this photo:

    Is the tag end of his belt threaded into his fly?

  47. Emily Ratajkowski Nipples See Through Shirt GQ
    Scott
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does this have a star over her boob? This is the most clothes I’ve seen her wear in ages!!

  48. Shaun White Sled BestSnowdayEver With Target And Shaun White At LA Live
    Margaret
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he got a Bruce Jenner’s plastic surgery gift basket from some asshole in Hollywood. Or all the assholes in Hollywood, otherwise known as Hollywood.

  49. Selena Gomez Nipples Cleavage No Bra Kiss FM Jingle Ball Dallas
    Margaret
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice tots but where is the rest of her head? Did she have another facial area reduction?

  50. Aubrey ODay Underboob Instagram
    Rianon
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Aubrey, you have some Kim on your face.

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