The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 12.3.13

December 3rd, 2013 // 363 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, your daily repository for hate-filled angst against celebrities who deserve it because they’re richer than you. That, and they’re sometimes Shawn White about to put his ankles behind his ears on a sled. Please leave all “Mr. Jackman, your order’s ready,” or “Seconds later Tom Cruise materialized out of thin air dressed as a pantsless elf” comments for our consideration. We also look forward to the following completely erroneous dialogue contributed to this picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger: “Wait, did you just say housekeeping convention?” and “GET TO DA CHOPPAH FUCK IS THAT KID MINE TOO?!”

*looks up at Emily Ratajkowski pic, looks down at written words, walks away slowly to sad Charlie Brown music,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Rose McIver Butt Tight Minidress The Hobbit The Desolation of Smaug LA Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    The HobAss?

  2. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    Oops!

    It looks like “If Riff Raff from Rocky Horror Picture Show was dating a Madame Tussaud WAX figure of Paz de la Puerta.”

  3. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall Zombie Annual ICAP Charity Day
    Commented on this photo:

    Lena Dunham’s x-ray does charity work with other skeletons.

  4. Arnold Schwarzenegger Surprised Look Escape Plan Stage Greeting
    Commented on this photo:

    I wish I’d had an escape plan when I was watching his last movie!

  5. Selena Gomez Nipples Cleavage No Bra Kiss FM Jingle Ball Dallas
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Body of a woman, face of a girl, brain of a below-average lemur.

  6. Celine Dion Playing Ukulele
    Commented on this photo:

    It was a bold effort, but “Marchez sur la pointe des pieds à travers les tulipes” would turn out to be a commercial flop for Céline.

  7. Celine Dion Playing Ukulele
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    You say Paris, those teeth say London.

    • Ripley's Believe It Or Not

      The French peasants get let off the hook because of all the flak the Brits (rightly) cop.

  8. Tom Sizemore Open Zipper
    Commented on this photo:

    Trying desperately to keep the balloon in his ass.

  9. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    I had to wipe the grease off my computer screen.

  10. Rose McIver Butt Tight Minidress The Hobbit The Desolation of Smaug LA Premiere
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    Using nothing more than duct tape and his Swiss Army knife, McIver fashioned a transgender disguise to go undercover as an actress and enter the theater. Moments later, he remembered he hasn’t been a secret agent for 21 years.

  11. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall Zombie Annual ICAP Charity Day
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, I promise! She’s right here! I’m standing right next to her! Ms. Rivers, would you please say hello to my friend on the phone?”

  12. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    She figured if anyone knew where to score heroin, it would be Axl Rose.

  13. Pope Francis Touching Priests Arm Vatican Library
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s giving my inner child “fuck me” eyes.

  14. Pope Francis Touching Priests Arm Vatican Library
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Pope: “Don’t worry, my son. I put a hell of a curse on Sarah Palin for talking smack about me.”
    Vatican official: “But Your Holiness, that’s voodoo, not Catholicism.”
    Pope: “To-may-to, to-mah-to.”

  15. Pope Francis Touching Priests Arm Vatican Library
    Commented on this photo:

    “Move along, old guy.”

  16. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Jessica Edstrom
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a traffic cone, or a condom for the beach’s erection?

  17. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall Zombie Annual ICAP Charity Day
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Darling, you’ll never believe this, but this one lass standing next to me is dressed as your late wife.

  18. Donnie Wahlberg Blue Bloods Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “OH…MY…GOD! You’re the brother of somebody famous!”

  19. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dress Zoe Saldana Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m going to have James Cameron give me an ass like that in Avatar 2.”

  20. Donnie Wahlberg Blue Bloods Set
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “For real, bro, he reeks of easily preventable diseases!”

  21. Celine Dion Playing Ukulele
    Frank Buns
    Commented on this photo:

    Its about time someone carried on the legacy of Tiny Tim.

  22. Jennifer Garner Feeding Horse Holding Son Samuel
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Jennifer Garner looks nothing like Sarah Jessica.. oh, okay. *scrunching back*

  23. Kelly Rowland Butt Tight Dress Winter Ball For Autism
    Commented on this photo:

    Hell yes!

  24. Emily Ratajkowski Nipples See Through Shirt GQ
    Kevin W
    Commented on this photo:

    Bet money she ages like shit but yeah right now she’s about as good as it gets.

  25. Tom Sizemore Open Zipper
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Look, I would love to talk. But I’ve got about a dozen condoms full of coke to shit out….so…

  26. Tom Jones Kate Moss
    Commented on this photo:

    Kate Moss thought bubble: “He really needs a facelift.”

    Tom Jones thought bubble: “She really needs a fake tan.”

  27. Pope Francis Touching Priests Arm Vatican Library
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Good luck putting the reins on our capitalist avarice.
    How’s that tax scam working out for the church? Just wondering.

  28. Celine Dion Playing Ukulele
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    The voice of an angel….named Lucifer.

  29. Selena Gomez Nipples Cleavage No Bra Kiss FM Jingle Ball Dallas
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it me, or is her face getting fat?

  30. Gerard Butler Laughing Signing Autograph LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    He was great on Friends.

  31. Cameron Diaz Derpface Annie Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “I am NOT the one issuing refunds for ‘The Counselor’!”

  32. Cameron Diaz Derpface Annie Set
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope she was well compensated for wearing that cardigan.

  33. Kelly Brook Cleavage British Fashion Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I know what I want for Christmas this year.

  34. Donnie Wahlberg Blue Bloods Set
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s hired his own personal gay guy to yell “OH SNAP!” every time he makes a joke.

  35. F Murray Abraham Canoodling With Sarita Choudhury 23rd Annual Gotham Independent Film Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “mmm…you smell like peanut curry…”

  36. Gerard Butler Laughing Signing Autograph LAX
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Man stabbed with a pen in 3…2…

  37. F Murray Abraham Canoodling With Sarita Choudhury 23rd Annual Gotham Independent Film Awards
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yes, Sarita, let us adjourn to your chambers, and I’ll show you what the F in F. Murray Abraham is aaallll about.”

  38. Cameron Diaz Derpface Annie Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “It’s a hard knock life for gunts.”

  39. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    OH. MY. GOD.

  40. Tom Jones Kate Moss
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    So nice of her to date Fredrick Douglas.

  41. Emily Ratajkowski Nipples See Through Shirt GQ
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m guessing from the posts above everyone here is under the age of 18 ?

  42. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dress Zoe Saldana Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    “Nice girl! But did a guy ever tattoo you all over his back?”

  43. Shaun White Sled BestSnowdayEver With Target And Shaun White At LA Live
    Commented on this photo:

    Shaun White demonstrates one of the techniques from his new video: Have Fun Giving Birth!

  44. Jennifer Garner Feeding Horse Holding Son Samuel
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice picture of Jennifer Garner. Who’s the chick holding the kid?

  45. Arnold Schwarzenegger Surprised Look Escape Plan Stage Greeting
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yackity YACK – Don’t use flash!”

  46. Will.i.am Goofy Clothes Gold Shoes
    Commented on this photo:

    I.am.urkel.

  47. Tracy Anderson Midriff Workout Clothes Ugg Boots Holding Kid ABC Studios
    Commented on this photo:

    The kid killed her left one.

  48. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall Zombie Annual ICAP Charity Day
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hello Charles? I’m seeing dead people again. There’s a skeleton woman right next to me. What do you mean, ‘is she hot’?”

  49. Pope Francis Touching Priests Arm Vatican Library
    Commented on this photo:

    (whispers)
    “…your Excellency…the *Jonas* brothers..”

  50. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s sadder ? Watching a lonely puppy sit outside in the cold
    rain or these two having sex ?

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