The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 12.3.13

December 3rd, 2013 // 363 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, your daily repository for hate-filled angst against celebrities who deserve it because they’re richer than you. That, and they’re sometimes Shawn White about to put his ankles behind his ears on a sled. Please leave all “Mr. Jackman, your order’s ready,” or “Seconds later Tom Cruise materialized out of thin air dressed as a pantsless elf” comments for our consideration. We also look forward to the following completely erroneous dialogue contributed to this picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger: “Wait, did you just say housekeeping convention?” and “GET TO DA CHOPPAH FUCK IS THAT KID MINE TOO?!”

*looks up at Emily Ratajkowski pic, looks down at written words, walks away slowly to sad Charlie Brown music,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall Zombie Annual ICAP Charity Day
    Commented on this photo:

    Camilla and the Queen Mother are rarely shown together.

  2. Emily Ratajkowski Nipples See Through Shirt GQ
    Commented on this photo:

    Can we get a mold of those on the Hollywood walk of fame already?

  3. Pope Francis Touching Priests Arm Vatican Library
    Commented on this photo:

    There, there, you back off now. He’s mine.

  4. Selena Gomez Nipples Cleavage No Bra Kiss FM Jingle Ball Dallas
    Commented on this photo:

    Dayummmm That is all.

  5. Shaun White Sled BestSnowdayEver With Target And Shaun White At LA Live
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he is ready for Tom Cruise or Travolta.

  6. Celine Dion Playing Ukulele
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone should tell her she’ll get much better tone using a pick than a Sharpie.

  7. F Murray Abraham Canoodling With Sarita Choudhury 23rd Annual Gotham Independent Film Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m not wearing anything under this robe…”

  8. Emily Ratajkowski Nipples See Through Shirt GQ
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s perfect. Just fucking perfect. I haven’t found a flaw yet. Not that I’m hoping to.

  9. Tom Jones Kate Moss
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s probably thinking, “Back when I was younger, I could have hooked up with someone the caliber of Tom Jones.”

  10. F Murray Abraham Canoodling With Sarita Choudhury 23rd Annual Gotham Independent Film Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Ladies, those tattoos you got when you were 20 look totally awesome when you are 40+ and trying to dress classy for a dinner party.

  11. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    You know how some men say “I can’t believe that dude got her” and some women say “I can’t believe she got him”?
    Well, I present you with the middle ground.

  12. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dress Zoe Saldana Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, even Zoe is impressed.

  13. Jennifer Garner Feeding Horse Holding Son Samuel
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone has to say it: “Sarah, so good to see you again.”

  14. Kelly Rowland Butt Tight Dress Winter Ball For Autism
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice.

  15. Aubrey ODay Underboob Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently Aubrey’s full time job is crafting Instagram selfies.

  16. Shaun White Sled BestSnowdayEver With Target And Shaun White At LA Live
    Commented on this photo:

    Conan’s love child with Jim Carrey.

  17. Donnie Wahlberg Blue Bloods Set
    Commented on this photo:

    This Walhberg is more popular among Asians.

  18. Pope Francis Touching Priests Arm Vatican Library
    Commented on this photo:

    “The press are here, make sure the little boys are locked up and hidden away right now”

  19. Shaun White Sled BestSnowdayEver With Target And Shaun White At LA Live
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s dreaming of a white Christmas.

  20. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    Death and Death Warmed Over.

  21. Selena Gomez Nipples Cleavage No Bra Kiss FM Jingle Ball Dallas
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone is smuggling gumdrops.

  22. Gerard Butler Laughing Signing Autograph LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Yup, no drugs here. Move along…

  23. Emily Ratajkowski Nipples See Through Shirt GQ
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Those annoying bits of fabric detract from her fabulous beauty.

  24. Donnie Wahlberg Blue Bloods Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dayumm, you are bald back here son”

  25. Rita Ora Cleavage British Fashion Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    If Courtney Stodden and Gwen Stefani had a child…

  26. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    Which one’s which?

  27. F Murray Abraham Canoodling With Sarita Choudhury 23rd Annual Gotham Independent Film Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Weekend at F. Murray Abraham’s

  28. Tom Jones Kate Moss
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s got a Morgan Freeman fetish and he’s got a Lindsay Lohan one.
    They’re made for each other!

  29. Rita Ora Cleavage British Fashion Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Rita Ora is Stodden to look like a burned out stripper.

  30. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Ewan McGregor’s taking his role in trainspotting 2 way too far.

  31. Selena Gomez Nipples Cleavage No Bra Kiss FM Jingle Ball Dallas
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that the key to her chastity belt?

  32. Tom Jones Kate Moss
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s not unusual to turn into Morgan Freeman after doing drugs with Kate Moss.

  33. Robert Pattinson Red Tinted Glasses LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Must have spotted a head bobbing up and down in an old Cutlass Sierra.

  34. Shaun White Sled BestSnowdayEver With Target And Shaun White At LA Live
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Best.Snowday.Ever With Target And Shaun White’ = “Worst snow day ever!”

  35. Will.i.am Goofy Clothes Gold Shoes
    Commented on this photo:

    For a moment I was thinking he was looking less douchey and then I saw the bottom of his pants.

  36. Rita Ora Cleavage British Fashion Awards
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Smashed boobies make everyone sad.

  37. Jennifer Garner Feeding Horse Holding Son Samuel
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    A Cubist and a Sugar Cubist.

  38. Selena Gomez Nipples Cleavage No Bra Kiss FM Jingle Ball Dallas
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice tits and she’s starting to look her age. That’s all the excuse I need to fap.

  39. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    Instead of “brains,” these zombies walk around saying, “heroin.”

  40. Tom Sizemore Open Zipper
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he rolled into LAX just in time to make it to his shift at the 7-Eleven.

  41. Jennifer Garner Feeding Horse Holding Son Samuel
    Commented on this photo:

    Sam, come say hi to your aunty Sarah Jessica Parker.

  42. Shaun White Sled BestSnowdayEver With Target And Shaun White At LA Live
    Commented on this photo:

    I suddenly have the urge to fuck a carrot. Is that wrong?

  43. Aubrey ODay Underboob Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I like how this chick does Instagram.

  44. Selena Gomez Nipples Cleavage No Bra Kiss FM Jingle Ball Dallas
    Commented on this photo:

    The cleavage says “adult”, but the face says “jailbait”.

  45. Rita Ora Cleavage British Fashion Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    No. The blonde hair is not working for her here.

  46. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear lord…you can get greasey & a contact high just from glancing at the photo.

  47. Arnold Schwarzenegger Surprised Look Escape Plan Stage Greeting
    Commented on this photo:

    “Escape Plan” sounds like a documentary about one of his maids.

  48. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like “If Riff Raff from Rocky Horror Picture Show was dating a Madame Tussaud was figure of Paz de la Puerta.”

  49. Paz De La Huerta Drunk Greasy Dirty Boyfriend
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does she always look so greasy?

  50. Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall Zombie Annual ICAP Charity Day
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    “Thats right Charles, I have the list…. Of course I understand…. I never liked your mother either, but must we include Prince George? O.. okay, no, no I don’t want to end up like Diana.”

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