The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 12.20.11

December 20th, 2011 // 316 Comments

“So, wait, wait. Thetans are dead ghosts that give people depression? Who the fuck believes this shit?

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring a bunch of photos I don’t know how Photo Boy cobbled together because in case you haven’t noticed there isn’t a whole lot going on outside of former models in bikinis, not that you want to hear the wails of a man who writes dick jokes in his pajamas all day. Anyway, today we’ve got Paul Sorvino because did I mention jackshit is happening? Mariah Carey gunning for JLo’s Carmen Sandiego role, Vanessa Hudgens after a date with Ben Roethlisberger and the triumphant return of Boner Boy who’s literally one wrong glance away from spackling the joint. (Side Note: Is anyone surprised Stephanie Seymour still picks out his clothes? Just throwing that out there.)

Today’s Final Five is for the ladies,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Josh Holloway Mission Impossible
    Commented on this photo:

    That is hands-down the ugliest tie I have ever seen, and my dad is 73 years old.

  2. Paula Patton Cleavage Mission Impossible
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she’s about to flash everyone

  3. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    So I walk in on those two and ask, “What the hell is the rubber fist for?” And Tom says, “I was punching the thetan out of Travolta’s ass.”

  4. Simon Cowell
    Commented on this photo:

    You know you want to titty fuck me.

  5. forrest gump

    she is discussing the sins in her life with a fresh cup of coffee, folks.

  6. Robin Thicke
    Carolyn
    Commented on this photo:

    Gross cigarette.

  7. Paula Patton Cleavage Mission Impossible
    celebsloveme
    Commented on this photo:

    Jazz hands!

  8. Amy Childs Cleavage
    Terry
    Commented on this photo:

    That face is just asking for a load.

  9. Josh Holloway Mission Impossible
    Felonious Monkey
    Commented on this photo:

    His tie looks like it’s from the same material used to make shawls little old Italian ladies wear when in mourning.

  10. Katie Holmes
    Mike701
    Commented on this photo:

    So I just figured that HE would have come out of the closet by now and I would have my career back.

  11. Mariah Carey Aspen
    Commented on this photo:

    Mariah Carey isn’t particularly pretty and I wouldn’t know any of her music even if she hand delivered all of her CDs. But there’s just something about her that gets my nuts in an uproar.

    I sit here looking at that get-up, and the whole time I’m imagining the fact that there just might not be anything under that coat.

    Yummyyyy…

  12. Simon Cowell
    Commented on this photo:

    I see he’s drinking from “The Elixer of Douche.”

  13. Viggo Mortensen
    Commented on this photo:

    Skarsgard looks like hell.

  14. Robin Thicke
    Commented on this photo:

    By reading this I’m gathering that Thicke is this guy’s last name. And all this time I was thinking it was a comment on his intellect.

  15. Amy Childs Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’d love to sit on your face if you can get a seatbelt installed on your shoulders…”

  16. Paul Sorvino
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa! Fuck me sideways. He looks like Jacob Marley’s ghost…

  17. Paula Patton Cleavage Mission Impossible
    Commented on this photo:

    “OK, Paula. So far, so good. Now squat so everyone can see up your dress…”

  18. Anthony Keidis
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll say this as gently as I can:

    ***Just who, in the name of Zeus’s butthole, is that bizarre-looking mother fucker?***

  19. Alan Thicke Tanya Callau
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, Igor, you seen that Thicke son of mine?”

  20. Josh Holloway Mission Impossible
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck is this all about, Fish? Only women like to look at foppish, queerbait actors. Guys don’t! But everyone likes to look at pretty women — even other women. No more of this shit.

    Shiiiiit…brought my evening to a distasteful close…

  21. Goldie Hawn Kurt Russell Aspen
    Commented on this photo:

    “I didn’t say you were a dried up old Jew broad. I said your skin has lost some of it’s moisture and the hook is starting to show again on your nose.”

  22. Josh Holloway Mission Impossible
    maruli
    Commented on this photo:

    His hair looks so damn soft.

  23. Anthony Keidis
    Commented on this photo:

    “Every RHCP is a re-invention of their sound. They are the ultimate rock and roll chameleons” – Nobody

  24. Anthony Keidis
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    “Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot.”

  25. Vanessa Hudgens Ashley Tisdale
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought groupies were a thing of the past.

  26. Amy Childs Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Are we sure this isn’t one of Katie Price’s children?

  27. Paul Sorvino
    Commented on this photo:

    I see the hound, where’s the fox?

  28. Simon Cowell
    DiddyK
    Commented on this photo:

    “are you lookin’ at my bum?…. cheeky monkey”

  29. Paula Patton Cleavage Mission Impossible
    Commented on this photo:

    If she learned one thing from Tom, it was jazz hands.

  30. Nicole Scherzinger Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    When you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks into you.

  31. Josh Holloway Mission Impossible
    Commented on this photo:

    Yum… Sawyer. But not like THIS. This man should be shirtless, and a little bit dirty… like a mechanic or a gardener, maybe…
    “But I don’t have any money to pay you with, Mr. Sawyer. Surely there MUST be some other way we can work this out…?”
    Yeahhhhh.

  32. Stephanie Seymour Boner Boy
    Commented on this photo:

    ok, I guess he is gay.

  33. Goldie Hawn Kurt Russell Aspen
    Mirko
    Commented on this photo:

    A cool couple. Probably pissed at them paparazzi. Wish them all the best (no reason to not like them).

  34. Joel Madden Pink Hair
    me
    Commented on this photo:

    well, some one is spending a little too much time googling katy perry

  35. Anthony Keidis
    me
    Commented on this photo:

    well someone is trying to make the emo-mosbter look happen…

  36. Josh Holloway Mission Impossible
    me
    Commented on this photo:

    well, someone is trying to pull a jack nicholson

  37. Simon Cowell
    Jerube
    Commented on this photo:

    ” ha ha … winning mutha fuckas …. cha ching all ova ya face!”

  38. Vanessa Hudgens Ashley Tisdale
    skunk
    Commented on this photo:

    i see better looking chicks at the mall

  39. Amy Childs Cleavage
    skunk
    Commented on this photo:

    id love to make some childs with her. then id abort them.

  40. Nicole Scherzinger Cleavage
    skunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Nicole Shitsinger

  41. Joel Madden Pink Hair
    Coyote
    Commented on this photo:

    what’s up with Louie CK?

  42. Anthony Keidis
    Vlood
    Commented on this photo:

    For the love of GOD, someone please tell me he is NOT wearing Uggs?

  43. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    T-minus three months until I jump up and down on the couch on Opra…er, Ellen.

  44. Stephanie Seymour Boner Boy
    hobnob
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not a tshirt. They’re in Louis Vuitton for fucks sake. Its probably a scarf. I mean, he is gay.

  45. Mariah Carey Aspen
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    You could hang that hat on the stiffy she gives me – boing!!!

  46. Alan Thicke Tanya Callau
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s Robin Thickes Khloe/tranny – whore!

  47. me

    Even though her eyes and mouth seem like she’s suprised or having fun, something else makes it look like she’s dying inside and I can’t put my finger on it.

  48. Alan Thicke Tanya Callau
    John
    Commented on this photo:

    didn’t this guy do a playgirl spread back in the day when he had that family sitcom?

  49. Anthony Keidis
    ri
    Commented on this photo:

    Their music has moved more toward the mild green chili pepper variety.

  50. Josh Holloway Mission Impossible
    ri
    Commented on this photo:

    Give him a dark tan and 20 years he will look exactly like the most interesting man in the world.

Leave A Comment