The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 12.20.11

December 20th, 2011 // 316 Comments

“So, wait, wait. Thetans are dead ghosts that give people depression? Who the fuck believes this shit?

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring a bunch of photos I don’t know how Photo Boy cobbled together because in case you haven’t noticed there isn’t a whole lot going on outside of former models in bikinis, not that you want to hear the wails of a man who writes dick jokes in his pajamas all day. Anyway, today we’ve got Paul Sorvino because did I mention jackshit is happening? Mariah Carey gunning for JLo’s Carmen Sandiego role, Vanessa Hudgens after a date with Ben Roethlisberger and the triumphant return of Boner Boy who’s literally one wrong glance away from spackling the joint. (Side Note: Is anyone surprised Stephanie Seymour still picks out his clothes? Just throwing that out there.)

Today’s Final Five is for the ladies,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Stephanie Seymour Boner Boy
    Ravi Sethna Ramalamadingdong
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s trying real hard not to stare at her boobs.

  2. Goldie Hawn Kurt Russell Aspen
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    “Remember Goldie Hawn? I used to be married to her ”
    “Yeah? What was she in?”

  3. Joel Madden Pink Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    not pictured: step bars on his Prius

  4. Paul Sorvino
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Why didn’t HE get a part on The Sopranos?

  5. Simon Cowell
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Considering the time he spent broke and in his mother’s basement you’d think he’d be a bit more of a hero ’round these parts.

  6. hmmmmm

    WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET POSTS?? DID I MISS LAST WEEK’S WTF?

  7. Anthony Keidis
    Paddy McC
    Commented on this photo:

    8 year olds dude.

  8. Stephanie Seymour Boner Boy
    Commented on this photo:

    “It will go perfectly when you wear mommy’s knitted thong.”

  9. Kat

    I could care less about this person. The only reason that I even comment on this site is because they don’t need to have a moderator check you comments before you post, like CNN does. What a bunch of Commie Reds.

  10. Viggo Mortensen
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    When did he turn into Rumpelstiltskin for Once Upon a Time?

  11. Ali Larter Butt Yoga Pants
    Kat
    Commented on this photo:

    Just look at the pumpkin sitting outside her door, does she not know that Halloween was over a month and a half ago.

  12. Katie Holmes
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    “The volcanoes of Teegee what? Get the fuck out of here!”

  13. Stephanie Seymour Boner Boy
    Kat
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought the beach stuff was weird, but this shopping trip is even creepier. These two really need to get psychiatric help.

  14. Goldie Hawn Kurt Russell Aspen
    SIN
    Commented on this photo:

    They are not yelling at each other because they are upset. They have to yell because they are old and just can’t hear.

  15. MLVC

    Are you saying that my husband DOES enjoy sucking another man?? Stunning information.

  16. Stephanie Seymour Boner Boy
    Wyatt
    Commented on this photo:

    I just bought some drapes on-line that look just like her dress. They cost me $32.42, I bet her dress cost 1000% more.

  17. Goldie Hawn Kurt Russell Aspen
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    bye bye mistah burton

  18. Katie Holmes
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    She still has time to leave Cruise and become a hot little sex kitten. Some new boobs, a new attitude and a smile and she would be awesome.

  19. Simon Cowell
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy is the ultimate tool.

  20. Viggo Mortensen
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    You could sit at home all day wondering how long is a piece of string but that’s not how Viggo Mortensen got where he is today.

  21. Stephanie Seymour Boner Boy
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    He may have had a boner, but it was not because of her. That boy is sweeter than Kanye West.

  22. Mariah Carey Aspen
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs to cover up those tree trunks before someone chops them off to use for firewood.

  23. Goldie Hawn Kurt Russell Aspen
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Dang it Goldie. I forgot to put my teef in again.

  24. Vanessa Hudgens Ashley Tisdale
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    Beginning of a good nice old fashioned threesome.

  25. Mariah Carey Aspen
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    That coat hides a multitude of sins.

  26. Joel Madden Pink Hair
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    Not a Prius, it is a BMW X6, but that does not change the fact that is a tool and a douchebag.

  27. Goldie Hawn Kurt Russell Aspen
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Goldie: I forgot my purse at the hotel!
    Kurt: I’m fine, thanks, but my back’s still a little stiff.
    Goldie: Lunch sounds like a good idea! Something soft?
    Kurt: It’s Tuesday, I’m pretty sure…
    Goldie: I SAID: “I THINK I LEFT SOMETHING SOFT IN MY PURSE FOR LU–” no, wait… what was I saying?
    Kurt: OK, HOT COCOA SOUNDS FINE, BUT NO SKIING!
    Goldie: Where are we again?

  28. Anthony Keidis
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    He really needs to get rid of the child molester mustache. Not a good look.

  29. Nicole Scherzinger Cleavage
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh yeah, the look on her face tells me that she is thinking what I am thinking.

  30. Alan Thicke Tanya Callau
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    Dad and son share the same trannies, interesting.

    • farting old man's wife

      Kinda scary isn’t it!! Can you just imagine what their Christmas gifts will be like??

  31. Josh Holloway Mission Impossible
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    The Sawyer beard is tired son.

  32. Viggo Mortensen
    Charlene
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like him better in a “Hello Kitty” t-shirt…

  33. Mariah Carey Aspen
    Sandy
    Commented on this photo:

    Really, who wears that to Aspen in the winter. And, where’s the snow, I don’t think these pictures are of her in Aspen, maybe, Portland, Oregon, but not Aspen.

  34. Anthony Keidis
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    You just know that when he is speaking to people and he’s not wearing that hat, that he flips his hair off his face in a truly foppish manner.

  35. Nicole Scherzinger Cleavage
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d fuck her brains out, but someone beat me to it.

  36. Katie Holmes
    GuyLeDouche
    Commented on this photo:

    THAT’S what TCLTC means?

  37. Alan Thicke Tanya Callau
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Shouldn’t he have a fedora and a Tommy Gun to go with that outfit?

    • I think the suit is pretty sharp, although I would have probably worn a solid white or silver tie. And maybe a Venus Flytrap boutonniere. Hardy-har-harsky…

  38. Goldie Hawn Kurt Russell Aspen
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Dammit Bitch! You’re face is still melting and it’s 20 degrees out here.

  39. Josh Holloway Mission Impossible
    Chris
    Commented on this photo:

    The name is Bag. Douche Bag.

  40. Stephanie Seymour Boner Boy
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    This over 40 woman is even giving gay kids boners.

    SHE STILL GOT IT.

  41. Goldie Hawn Kurt Russell Aspen
    GuyLeDouche
    Commented on this photo:

    The original Colonel Jack O’Neil, Snake Plissken, Jack Burton in Big Trouble in Little China, and MacReady in the proper version of “The Thing”…Kurt is one cool guy. Only respect from here.

  42. Viggo Mortensen
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    After his walk, Viggo sprouted his wings and took his usual spot on top of the cathedral before he turned to stone once again

  43. Josh Holloway Mission Impossible
    Chris
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m don’t think it’s possible to look more full of yourself.

  44. Anthony Keidis
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Everytime I see this guy, the first thing that comes to mind is Amber Alert.

  45. Josh Holloway Mission Impossible
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Whose bright idea was this?

  46. Josh Holloway Mission Impossible
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone please tell me I am not the only who is old enough to think his shirt looks like the test pattern on a black and white tv.

  47. Josh Holloway Mission Impossible
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    SF writer, are you doing this because I made a joke about Jesus?

  48. Simon Cowell
    farting old man's wife
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like the Grinch!!

  49. Goldie Hawn Kurt Russell Aspen
    farting old man's wife
    Commented on this photo:

    Animal killer! Where is PETA when ya need them!!

  50. Ali Larter Butt Yoga Pants
    farting old man's wife
    Commented on this photo:

    What a cute doggie!!

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