“So, wait, wait. Thetans are dead ghosts that give people depression? Who the fuck believes this shit?”
Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring a bunch of photos I don’t know how Photo Boy cobbled together because in case you haven’t noticed there isn’t a whole lot going on outside of former models in bikinis, not that you want to hear the wails of a man who writes dick jokes in his pajamas all day. Anyway, today we’ve got Paul Sorvino because did I mention jackshit is happening? Mariah Carey gunning for JLo’s Carmen Sandiego role, Vanessa Hudgens after a date with Ben Roethlisberger and the triumphant return of Boner Boy who’s literally one wrong glance away from spackling the joint. (Side Note: Is anyone surprised Stephanie Seymour still picks out his clothes? Just throwing that out there.)
Today’s Final Five is for the ladies,
- The Superficial
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
He’s trying real hard not to stare at her boobs.
“Remember Goldie Hawn? I used to be married to her ”
“Yeah? What was she in?”
not pictured: step bars on his Prius
Why didn’t HE get a part on The Sopranos?
Considering the time he spent broke and in his mother’s basement you’d think he’d be a bit more of a hero ’round these parts.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET POSTS?? DID I MISS LAST WEEK’S WTF?
8 year olds dude.
“It will go perfectly when you wear mommy’s knitted thong.”
I could care less about this person. The only reason that I even comment on this site is because they don’t need to have a moderator check you comments before you post, like CNN does. What a bunch of Commie Reds.
When did he turn into Rumpelstiltskin for Once Upon a Time?
Just look at the pumpkin sitting outside her door, does she not know that Halloween was over a month and a half ago.
“The volcanoes of Teegee what? Get the fuck out of here!”
I thought the beach stuff was weird, but this shopping trip is even creepier. These two really need to get psychiatric help.
They are not yelling at each other because they are upset. They have to yell because they are old and just can’t hear.
Are you saying that my husband DOES enjoy sucking another man?? Stunning information.
I just bought some drapes on-line that look just like her dress. They cost me $32.42, I bet her dress cost 1000% more.
yes sweetie you’re prollyrite
bye bye mistah burton
She still has time to leave Cruise and become a hot little sex kitten. Some new boobs, a new attitude and a smile and she would be awesome.
Scientology is a tax exempt talent agency. Boom. I said it.
This guy is the ultimate tool.
You could sit at home all day wondering how long is a piece of string but that’s not how Viggo Mortensen got where he is today.
He may have had a boner, but it was not because of her. That boy is sweeter than Kanye West.
She needs to cover up those tree trunks before someone chops them off to use for firewood.
Dang it Goldie. I forgot to put my teef in again.
Beginning of a good nice old fashioned threesome.
That coat hides a multitude of sins.
Not a Prius, it is a BMW X6, but that does not change the fact that is a tool and a douchebag.
Goldie: I forgot my purse at the hotel!
Kurt: I’m fine, thanks, but my back’s still a little stiff.
Goldie: Lunch sounds like a good idea! Something soft?
Kurt: It’s Tuesday, I’m pretty sure…
Goldie: I SAID: “I THINK I LEFT SOMETHING SOFT IN MY PURSE FOR LU–” no, wait… what was I saying?
Kurt: OK, HOT COCOA SOUNDS FINE, BUT NO SKIING!
Goldie: Where are we again?
He really needs to get rid of the child molester mustache. Not a good look.
His whole existence is not a good look.
Oh yeah, the look on her face tells me that she is thinking what I am thinking.
Dad and son share the same trannies, interesting.
Kinda scary isn’t it!! Can you just imagine what their Christmas gifts will be like??
The Sawyer beard is tired son.
I’d like him better in a “Hello Kitty” t-shirt…
Really, who wears that to Aspen in the winter. And, where’s the snow, I don’t think these pictures are of her in Aspen, maybe, Portland, Oregon, but not Aspen.
They have these amazing things called snow shovels. You can keep your walk completely bare if it hasn’t snowed for a few days.
People who hire body guards to pick them up and carry them over the snow, that’s who.
Heated walkways…
You just know that when he is speaking to people and he’s not wearing that hat, that he flips his hair off his face in a truly foppish manner.
I’d fuck her brains out, but someone beat me to it.
THAT’S what TCLTC means?
Shouldn’t he have a fedora and a Tommy Gun to go with that outfit?
I think the suit is pretty sharp, although I would have probably worn a solid white or silver tie. And maybe a Venus Flytrap boutonniere. Hardy-har-harsky…
Dammit Bitch! You’re face is still melting and it’s 20 degrees out here.
The name is Bag. Douche Bag.
This over 40 woman is even giving gay kids boners.
SHE STILL GOT IT.
The original Colonel Jack O’Neil, Snake Plissken, Jack Burton in Big Trouble in Little China, and MacReady in the proper version of “The Thing”…Kurt is one cool guy. Only respect from here.
After his walk, Viggo sprouted his wings and took his usual spot on top of the cathedral before he turned to stone once again
I’m don’t think it’s possible to look more full of yourself.
Everytime I see this guy, the first thing that comes to mind is Amber Alert.
Whose bright idea was this?
Someone please tell me I am not the only who is old enough to think his shirt looks like the test pattern on a black and white tv.
You’re not.
Thank you
SF writer, are you doing this because I made a joke about Jesus?
He looks like the Grinch!!
Animal killer! Where is PETA when ya need them!!
What a cute doggie!!