“So, wait, wait. Thetans are dead ghosts that give people depression? Who the fuck believes this shit?”
Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring a bunch of photos I don’t know how Photo Boy cobbled together because in case you haven’t noticed there isn’t a whole lot going on outside of former models in bikinis, not that you want to hear the wails of a man who writes dick jokes in his pajamas all day. Anyway, today we’ve got Paul Sorvino because did I mention jackshit is happening? Mariah Carey gunning for JLo’s Carmen Sandiego role, Vanessa Hudgens after a date with Ben Roethlisberger and the triumphant return of Boner Boy who’s literally one wrong glance away from spackling the joint. (Side Note: Is anyone surprised Stephanie Seymour still picks out his clothes? Just throwing that out there.)
Today’s Final Five is for the ladies,
- The Superficial
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
Here’s hoping someone will make a Cliff Notes for Katie Holmes expressions, because she has a freaking odd variety of them.
Damn I’d love to jump in between those two.
If you’ve got a kilo of good weed you could probably make that happen.
If I get hold of a kilo of good weed I won’t care about nailing either one of them.
Wow, somebody looks……great
Well if no one else wants it I’m gonna swoop right in.
Next time try L’Oreal instead of the store brand, honey.
next time try spreading your ass open, honey.
“I dont have the Florsheim’s in a 12, but I brought you an 11 1/2.”
*snort*
“I hate child singers and everything they represent. Oops, did I say that out loud? Uhm . . . hey, check out my rack.”
How man squirrels must die, for her to look fly
Shocker Winona Ryder is behind him trying to steal his wallet.
Bahahahaha
THAT was funny.
“Here son, try this on, it will go great with your raging Oedipal complex. And quit staring at mommy’s butt in the mirror.”
My God! That fucking sweater is hideous! Look, Katie, I know it’s been nearly 17 years since my sister died but that doesn’t mean you can rummage through her old shit and take whatever you want! Just do your chores and maybe Tom will give you enough money to go buy yourself a new one, ok, hun?
Mariah finally decided to turn detective and investigate the disappearance of her career.
(Let’s see……f I go with the steak tonight, I’ll either have to shit immediately and have swamp ass the rest of the night, or hold it in and pray to god I don’t fart when Lindsay Lohan’s blowing me…….fuck, it’s Joan Rivers)
Someone told her Tom Cruise’s true sexuality
Dude looks like he is trying hard to concentrate from getting a boner. God, look at those tits.
After hours of following the mysterious purple tape around the block, Viggo found that the other end was attached to the back of his shoe.
Hahahahahahaha…+1000…I can’t stop laughing!
This is so random but so funny and quirky! Bhahaha thank you for the laugh!
I am wishing that she is wearing nothing under that trench coat. I would bang her with nothing but those boots and that hat on.
“Look Tom…THAT man is kissing a WOMAN!”
Sorry to tell you that Simon, your facelift sucks. Sue the doctor!
Since when did she go from looking like a man to looking my crazy Aunt Susie. She’s aged about 30 years!
Fish, getting tired of Katie Holmes / Tom Cruise updates. We get it, he’s a scientologist. There’s no story here.
Which one is the wax statue?
That’s an awkward pose, but I would bang her nonetheless.
“…and then I say no you can’t have a juice box. You’ve already brushed your teeth. You wouldn’t the fit that happened. It’s like this every time he premiers a new movie. Poor little guy gets so would up.”
*wound
I would love to unzip that dress and motorboat those jugs.
I dunno…they look too full of saline/silicone to do any motorboating. You’d probably hurt yourself. Of course, it might just be worth it.
“What, me backwash?”
Another smart ass asking me about my shitty show’s ratings…don’t these people know who I am?
I see she has one of those new labia coats. That ones the Khloe.
“This shirt will cover it up, but make sure you wear tighter pants or you’ll be pitching a pup tent with it. Okay, a gay pup tent, if you insist, but a pup tent nevertheless. Mmmkay?”
Oh look, he’s got a little yuletide shirt on. I had one when I was a little boy too.
The name is Snake Plisken dammit!
Off camera, assistant: “Open wide! Here comes the airplane!!”
I bet you a tub of Cool Whip that she shaves it all off.
Well, goddamnit, I think I’ll go find out…be back a bit later.
I don’t get it, are you saying that she uses Cool Whip to shave it all off because if she does that is kind of hot.
Who knew homeless people could make fashion statements????
I thought they were circus clowns. The homeless have better fashion taste.
Perhaps, but I never long to stick my raging stiffie between a clown’s or bum’s tits.
“gotta remember to pickup some more douche on the way home. my bag is almost empty”
looks to me like his cup runneth over
This reminds me of Mad Magazine’s, Sergio Aragonés, The Shadow Knows comics. Robin Thicke the man, but his shadow showing us the truth. http://mad.blog.dccomics.com/2011/06/21/“the-shadow-knows”-returns/
Having a really bot mom would be weird. Having a hot sister was bad enough.
A bot mom? Is that like a robo mom? ;)
They aren’t as popular now due to anti-virus software, but they were all the rage once.
“We must find Nick, kids. Go-go-gadget gaydar!”
“Yeah, I like this one mom…it’ll look great wadded up at the foot of your bed”
“Look at how bad my blowjob face has gotten! I never get to use it anymore!”
Oh look a Captain…G…shirt?
Drifting off to daydream bonerland. “dear Penthouse Forum, so I was walking through a parking lot, and you’ll never believe who I spotted….. “
No Katie, thetans are invisible…black microphones aren’t.
It’s nice that they’re still together. Long term coupledom in Hollywood is so very rare.
Yes, and you never hear about them causing trouble for anyone either, even the popos
“You look old!”
“No, YOU look fucking OLD!”
In prison, dinner was always a big thing. We had a pasta course, then we had a meat or a fish. Paulie was doing a year for contempt and had a wonderful system for garlic. He used a razor and sliced it so thin it would liquefy in the pan with a little oil. It’s a very good system.
Who’s the bitch with her?
he looks like the dog that used to chase Sylvester the cat in the Looney Toons
He’s almost as pretty as she is.
It appears that he doesn’t swallow like Kim does.
But I bet he does like the Golden Showers
That’s the look of a woman who’s always wanted to have cosplay sex with Hitler.