The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 7.12.11

July 12th, 2011 // 687 Comments

Yep. Everything looks healthy here.

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed where you want to be sure to get your free mustache ride before exiting: Clarissa needs to explain just what in the fuck happening’s here, Bar Refaeli is banging this guy now, so assume he’s richer than Leo and the Asians have built their own Kim Kardashian to replace ours when her ass explodes from being filled with too much air, literally any second now.

Combining all the drama of a custody battle with arm wrestling,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Sylvester Stallone
    Commented on this photo:

    DJ Pauly D in 2 years.

  2. Sylvester Stallone
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    FU HDTV !

  3. Penelope Cruz Minidress Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “I wrote, directed, and starred in Annie Hall….what do you mean you never heard of it?”

  4. Viggo Mortenson
    stratacat
    Commented on this photo:

    Unibomber: Age 12

  5. Ashlee Simpson
    Commented on this photo:

    “Give me the afghan.”

  6. Sylvester Stallone
    Commented on this photo:

    Veins popping on the cheeks is a good sign, right? Right?

  7. Sarah Jessica Parker
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Good to see them drawing on their clothes instead of themselves.

  8. Penelope Cruz Minidress Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “Woody, I am not showing you my tits. I am entirely too old for you.”

  9. Sarah Jessica Parker
    Commented on this photo:

    She played the Thestral.

  10. Kid Rock
    Commented on this photo:

    Kid Rock, you need to make that “Moustache Free Rides for Woman” unless that isn’t what you mean.

  11. Bar Refaeli New Boyfriend David Fisher
    Eddie
    Commented on this photo:

    Downgrade!

    Unless this guy has a weener the size of the Golden Gate Bridge, then this is a downgrade for her.

    This guy hit the jackpot though.

  12. Scott Disick Kourtney Kardashian Mason Disick
    Commented on this photo:

    Good luck getting through the douche scan.

  13. Gerard Butler
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    They gave him that because someone stole their ‘World’s Best Actor’ mug.

  14. Sheryl Crow Doyle Bramhall II
    M
    Commented on this photo:

    So when is she going to come out of the lez-be-friends closet? Better yet, when will her “boyfriend”?

  15. Melissa Joan Hart
    Commented on this photo:

    Aw, I think I saw her wearing that at the Publix last week. That’s nice.

  16. Viggo Mortenson
    Eddie
    Commented on this photo:

    “Where is the anal ring???” [hissing sound]

  17. Woody Allen
    Commented on this photo:

    “THERE, the one in the red dress. Take her out…..tell me she’s never heard of ‘Annie Hall.’”

  18. Viggo Mortenson
    Commented on this photo:

    Viggo, burning a J on the street in Buenos Aires. Buenos aires indeed.

  19. Kim Kardashian Workout Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    Here you see Kim Kardashian attempting to return the hammock she bought… Only a small piece survived but she hoped it would be enough to get a refund….

  20. Ryan Reynolds
    Commented on this photo:

    Hipsters suck.

    • now, not everyone wearing some squares can be called an hipster. some of em still got style… this is everything BUT style… look at that hat…. my granpa was from sicily and he didnt wear it…

  21. Harvey Keitel Manpurse
    Eddie
    Commented on this photo:

    You like dat 12 year old pussy? Aint nothin like dat 12 year old pussy!

    He was hilarious in Taxi Driver.

  22. Sylvester Stallone
    Commented on this photo:

    so Mel Gibson got buffed.

  23. Pippa Middleton No Makeup
    Commented on this photo:

    Sigh. She wore ONE dress EXTREMELY well. Stop now. There’s nothing there. Just. Please. Stop.

  24. Sarah Jessica Parker
    Eddie
    Commented on this photo:

    Gonna need more than a wand and a spell to get rid of that phantom

  25. Seth Green Clare Grant
    Commented on this photo:

    “Reducio!”

  26. Sylvester Stallone
    Hemingway
    Commented on this photo:

    Stretch Armstrong? Is that you?

  27. Sheryl Crow Doyle Bramhall II
    Commented on this photo:

    Watch out dude. History shows that your balls are at serious risk. Ask Lance.

  28. Penelope Cruz Minidress Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, I will not bring my daughter to work…”

  29. Jeffrey Ross
    Commented on this photo:

    “So, I’m stroking a knob in each hand, when suddenly . . .”

  30. Eli Roth
    Commented on this photo:

    This season’s look: Super Casual Douche.

  31. Woody Allen
    Eddie
    Commented on this photo:

    Woody: Look, look! See that mother holding that child? I’m going to marry her one day.

    Guy: You think she’ll divorce her husband?

    Woody: Not the mother, you idiot! The kid! The kid!

  32. Gerard Butler
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like there was one more spike in that trophy than he expected. SURPRISE!

  33. Sylvester Stallone
    Commented on this photo:

    How many of those fucking worms does Khan have? Dr. McCoy, how do we get rid of them?

  34. Ashlee Simpson
    Commented on this photo:

    Phyllis Diller wore that EXACT outfit.

  35. Viggo Mortenson
    Paddy McC
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my god, they found me. I don’t know how, but they found me. Run for it Marty!

  36. Harvey Keitel Manpurse
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m always happy when I see him and not his penis.

  37. Penelope Cruz Minidress Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Hello, Left Tit, my name is Woody. Would you like to shake?”

  38. Maria Shriver
    Commented on this photo:

    We’ve discussed this. Leave the lady alone. She didn’t do anything wrong. Her husband is an uberprick.

  39. Sylvester Stallone
    Commented on this photo:

    His shirt looks almost as vascular as he is.

  40. Christoph Waltz
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t always swim, but when I do . . .

  41. Gerard Butler
    Commented on this photo:

    I think we underestimate the Italian’s sense of humor here. I bet you that award just tasered him….

  42. Melissa Joan Hart
    neo
    Commented on this photo:

    i fuck this chubby ho

  43. Penelope Cruz Minidress Cleavage
    The Pope of Cleveland
    Commented on this photo:

    “Almost finished. Now where did that gray rag go?”

  44. Pippa Middleton No Makeup
    Blech
    Commented on this photo:

    Noooo, she looks like Pee-Wee.

  45. Scott Disick Kourtney Kardashian Mason Disick
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Look out kid, she’s just spotted the Mullet.

  46. Chris Evans GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    The black guy. Saying it with his eyes. He’s real.

  47. Kid Rock
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s see him wear that hat around Rosie O’Donnell. Or Snookie. Or Nicole Eggert.

  48. Penelope Cruz Minidress Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Clearly his plan is to get Penelope to drink 5 bottles of wine, then use the hand truck to wheel her over to the table that he’s prepared with a tarp.

  49. Melissa Joan Hart
    Commented on this photo:

    How the fuck did she get a ticket?

  50. Sarah Jessica Parker
    Dirk Digler
    Commented on this photo:

    Glad to see Harry Potter found the last horcrux.

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