The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 12.18.12

“Heath’s favorite cocktail, huh? Ah well, bottom’s up!”

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, which features two Taylor Lautner pics, not only because we’re already starting to feel the holiday content pinch, but also because this is clearly the happiest day of his life, not counting the time Travolta let him sit on his lap and steer the jet. We’ve also got Selma Blair’s inappropriately chesty outfit, not for being too sexy, but for making me throw up the “delicious” McRib Fish made me eat at gunpoint. Finally, we’ve got Cesar Millan, who I’m not sure has ever made it in here before, but debuts today with his forceful, yet effective submission technique of burying two fingers deep into the anus and gazing into the eyes with a lusty stare.

Fun Fact: This technique also works on Tom Cruise,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN