The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 12.18.12

December 18th, 2012 // 363 Comments

“Heath’s favorite cocktail, huh? Ah well, bottom’s up!”

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, which features two Taylor Lautner pics, not only because we’re already starting to feel the holiday content pinch, but also because this is clearly the happiest day of his life, not counting the time Travolta let him sit on his lap and steer the jet. We’ve also got Selma Blair‘s inappropriately chesty outfit, not for being too sexy, but for making me throw up the “delicious” McRib Fish made me eat at gunpoint. Finally, we’ve got Cesar Millan, who I’m not sure has ever made it in here before, but debuts today with his forceful, yet effective submission technique of burying two fingers deep into the anus and gazing into the eyes with a lusty stare.

Fun Fact: This technique also works on Tom Cruise,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Jane Lynch Eating
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “god DAMN this cold sore’s a bad one….”

    (thinks back to Hollywood party last year when she muff dived on Lindsay Lohan)

  2. Selma Blair Bony Chest No Bra Under Open Sweater Playing With Son
    Commented on this photo:

    ..dafuck??? Tony Danza’s long hair and Goodwill sweater terrifies children…

  3. Olivier Sarkozy Mary-Kate Olsen New York Nicks Game
    Sardonic
    Commented on this photo:

    Two people who have zero interest in basketball. Even the alcohol and sunglasses cannot mask their discomfort.

  4. Jane Lynch Eating
    Commented on this photo:

    Alright, what jackass played with the space-time continuum this time?

  5. Olivier Sarkozy Mary-Kate Olsen New York Nicks Game
    The Winchester
    Commented on this photo:

    When did Walter Matthau start dating Scooter from the Muppets?

  6. Jared Leto Dressed In Drag The Dallas Buyers Club
    nik
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought this was the redhead from sex and the city.

  7. Olivier Sarkozy Mary-Kate Olsen New York Nicks Game
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Bridget Bardot is looking spry!

  8. Olivier Sarkozy Mary-Kate Olsen New York Nicks Game
    Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    Mandy Patinkin suddenly realizes that too many gin & tonics made him mistake an Olsen twin for Claire Danes

  9. Khloe Kardashian Cleavage Huge Forehead X Factor Finalists Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    “This Khardashian is my kind of scum: fearless and inventive.”
    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/18/Jabba_a_Hutt-340_360.jpg[/img]

  10. Khloe Kardashian Cleavage Huge Forehead X Factor Finalists Press Conference
    lawn
    Commented on this photo:

    Since when do farm animals attend press conferences?

  11. Cesar Millan Hodling Dog Up To Face North Shore Animal League 2012 Awards Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    cute puppy !

  12. Cesar Millan Hodling Dog Up To Face North Shore Animal League 2012 Awards Gala
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR!?”

  13. Bruce Sprinsteen Lady Gaga Terry Richardson
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing says ” I’m a life committed fame whore “, like stopping to snap a picture with this ugly idiot. And.. You look like an old Jewish Queen.

  14. Olivier Sarkozy Mary-Kate Olsen New York Nicks Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, babycakes, watch me do a drunk Tom Hanks doing Billy Idol.

  15. Jude Law Scarf
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “I told that idiot doctor to make my neck brace gayer. This isn’t going to work!”

  16. Olivier Sarkozy Mary-Kate Olsen New York Nicks Game
    Juch
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do celebrities go to games when they clearly have no interest in or knowledge of the sport?!?

  17. Taylor Lautner Football Game
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy photo ops. That ball in brand spanking new, in pristine condition.

  18. Ewan McGregor Jimmy Fallon Green Screen
    Commented on this photo:

    These public masturbation cloaks are going to be a hit with the teens.

  19. Selma Blair Bony Chest No Bra Under Open Sweater Playing With Son
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    The Hollywood Magicians can really work magic with this one.

  20. Selma Blair Bony Chest No Bra Under Open Sweater Playing With Son
    MisterSuccint
    Commented on this photo:

    He breastfed the sexy out of her.

  21. Jared Leto Dressed In Drag The Dallas Buyers Club
    Commented on this photo:

    Willem Dafoe just shat himself.

  22. Alanis Morissette Fat Mario Treadway
    Dinkle
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife

  23. Quentin Tarantino Samuel L Jackson Kerry Washington Jamie Foxx 106 & Park
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Kerry Washington = (((((BOING)))))

  24. Melanie Griffith Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    “Excuse me, where do you keep your shut-in recluse-wear?”

  25. Jared Leto Dressed In Drag The Dallas Buyers Club
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Imma pick that shit up!” – Eddie Murphy

  26. Alanis Morissette Fat Mario Treadway
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    The Lucky Winners of The Walmart Dating Game.

  27. Khloe Kardashian Cleavage Huge Forehead X Factor Finalists Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    DEATH BY SNU-SNU!!!

  28. Demi Lovato X Factor Finalists Press Conference
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Going down to Tranny Town

  29. Cesar Millan Hodling Dog Up To Face North Shore Animal League 2012 Awards Gala
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t lie to me you little bastard. I’ve got trans species gaydar!

  30. Taylor Lautner Football Game
    Arlene
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t he once “date” Taylor Swift? That speaks volumes.

  31. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Bra See Through Dress The Double Premiere
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow.. She went light on the clowns tits and looks exceptional for London. Great legs.

  32. Jane Lynch Eating
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    What is this, penis ?

  33. Ewan McGregor Jimmy Fallon Green Screen
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    They look like Saddam Hossein on South Park! C’mon Guy!

  34. Taylor Lautner Football Game
    Commented on this photo:

    A little quick to be making a Sandusky biopic, huh?

  35. Olivier Sarkozy Mary-Kate Olsen New York Nicks Game
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    Drink Keystone Light.

  36. Jared Leto Dressed In Drag The Dallas Buyers Club
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Just when you thought that it was impossible to hate this guy more.. He finds a way. That’s Incredible.

  37. Olivier Sarkozy Mary-Kate Olsen New York Nicks Game
    TS
    Commented on this photo:

    I imagine that Photo Boy typed “Nicks”, and then screamed like a girl, threw up his hands, and yelled at Fish for making him write about sports. It’s Knicks, honey.

  38. Jane Lynch Eating
    Extenze
    Commented on this photo:

    Odd…thats how she eats pussy…like a vulture.

  39. Alanis Morissette Fat Mario Treadway
    Matty
    Commented on this photo:

    Mario Treadway as Wesley Crusher?

  40. Khloe Kardashian Cleavage Huge Forehead X Factor Finalists Press Conference
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Gross Pig.. That’s all I got.

  41. Claudia Romani Bikini
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    She’d be perfect if they could perform chinectomy’s.

  42. Claudia Romani Bikini
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    This new slideshow viewer is sweet !

  43. Olivier Sarkozy Mary-Kate Olsen New York Nicks Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “My word this tastes OLD. Darling remind me to ask for something a bit newer. Like say a 1986 vintage pale ale.”

  44. Taylor Lautner Football Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Taylor: “No, no don’t touch my penis, don’t touch my penis”
    Dude: “No one is touching your dick dude”
    Taylor:”Ha ha, don’t touch it ha ha”

  45. Khloe Kardashian Cleavage Huge Forehead X Factor Finalists Press Conference
    karlito
    Commented on this photo:

    put Selma Blair’s chest on her forehead and now you have a Klingon.

  46. Olivier Sarkozy Mary-Kate Olsen New York Nicks Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Heath Ledger made the exact same face with her before he died….”drink up honey”

  47. Bruce Sprinsteen Lady Gaga Terry Richardson
    Commented on this photo:

    Can we see more of GaGa’s sister? She’s way hotter.

  48. Jane Lynch Eating
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ick, tastes like a flamboyant high school musical on Fox.”

  49. Jared Leto Dressed In Drag The Dallas Buyers Club
    Commented on this photo:

    David Arquette got out just before Courtney went off the rails!

  50. Bruce Sprinsteen Lady Gaga Terry Richardson
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing like a game of Smear the Queer.

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