The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 12.18.12

December 18th, 2012 // 363 Comments

“Heath’s favorite cocktail, huh? Ah well, bottom’s up!”

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, which features two Taylor Lautner pics, not only because we’re already starting to feel the holiday content pinch, but also because this is clearly the happiest day of his life, not counting the time Travolta let him sit on his lap and steer the jet. We’ve also got Selma Blair‘s inappropriately chesty outfit, not for being too sexy, but for making me throw up the “delicious” McRib Fish made me eat at gunpoint. Finally, we’ve got Cesar Millan, who I’m not sure has ever made it in here before, but debuts today with his forceful, yet effective submission technique of burying two fingers deep into the anus and gazing into the eyes with a lusty stare.

Fun Fact: This technique also works on Tom Cruise,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Quentin Tarantino Samuel L Jackson Kerry Washington Jamie Foxx 106 & Park
    Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    Quentin owns up to the fart.

  2. Selma Blair Bony Chest No Bra Under Open Sweater Playing With Son
    Commented on this photo:

    Her chest looks like a Klingon’s forehead.

  3. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Bra See Through Dress The Double Premiere
    Leather Balls
    Commented on this photo:

    I would definitely be the romantic and throw it in her.

  4. Demi Lovato X Factor Finalists Press Conference
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Bruce Campbell is jealous of this Chin Butt.

  5. Cesar Millan Hodling Dog Up To Face North Shore Animal League 2012 Awards Gala
    Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m pretty liberal, but this display of bestiality crosses a line.

  6. Quentin Tarantino Samuel L Jackson Kerry Washington Jamie Foxx 106 & Park
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    “Peace, niggers! “

  7. Jude Law Scarf
    Leather Balls
    Commented on this photo:

    Phil Collins is looking good for his age.

  8. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Bra See Through Dress The Double Premiere
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Nasty stripper leg tattoos.

  9. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Bra See Through Dress The Double Premiere
    The Most Interesting
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn sexy *and* smart!

    *Always* carry your cocktail into line…

  10. Bradley Cooper
    Leather Balls
    Commented on this photo:

    What an ugly looking man.

  11. Selma Blair Bony Chest No Bra Under Open Sweater Playing With Son
    Jentilly
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d be screaming like that too if she was chasing me!

  12.  Maude Garrett Cleavage Miniskirt The Hobbit An Unexpected Journey Premiere
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    Middle Earth is nice, but I’m more interested in her peaks and valleys.

  13. Jessica White Cleavage Charity Meets Fashion Holiday Celebration Honoring The World's Children At Affirmation Arts
    Leather Balls
    Commented on this photo:

    Why not. I’d let her sit on my face, but I wouldn’t kiss her. Who knows where her mouth has been.

  14. Jessica-Jane Clement Cleavage Bra See Through Dress The Double Premiere
    Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    Much sexier than any other Jessica or Jane I can think of.

  15. Jane Lynch Eating
    Commented on this photo:

    Jane is advertising her excellent technique and willingness to deal with any fishy smells.

  16. Jared Leto Dressed In Drag The Dallas Buyers Club
    Leather Balls
    Commented on this photo:

    Madonna needs to stop. She’s 100 years old and looks it.

  17. Quentin Tarantino Samuel L Jackson Kerry Washington Jamie Foxx 106 & Park
    Mary Feeney
    Commented on this photo:

    Tarantino’s giving the victory sign because glamorizing violence is so incredibly profitable and whenever there’s a mass shooting all the blame goes to guns as if Hollywood glamorization of guns and violence is not a factor.

  18. Jared Leto Dressed In Drag The Dallas Buyers Club
    Jentilly
    Commented on this photo:

    Courtney Love is looking good

  19. Olivier Sarkozy Mary-Kate Olsen New York Nicks Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking at this is bad enough, but can you imagine being the guy in plaid having to listen to: ” ‘ow do my burp smell, Mare-ee? ehn hehn hehn” for two hours straight?

  20. Alanis Morissette Fat Mario Treadway
    Mary Feeney
    Commented on this photo:

    Yikes.

  21. Khloe Kardashian Cleavage Huge Forehead X Factor Finalists Press Conference
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Just gross.

  22. Khloe Kardashian Cleavage Huge Forehead X Factor Finalists Press Conference
    Leather Balls
    Commented on this photo:

    Her fat face looks like its about to eat the rest of her.

  23. Olivier Sarkozy Mary-Kate Olsen New York Nicks Game
    Commented on this photo:

    OLIVER: “I TOLD you we should have brought a blanket! It’s not a proper “Dutch Oven” without a blanket!”

  24. Rose McGowan Charity Meets Fashion Holiday Celebration Honoring The World's Children At Affirmation Arts
    SER
    Commented on this photo:

    Jared Leto is awfully convincing…

  25. AnnaLynne McCord Bikini Top 90210 Set
    Commented on this photo:

    The pimple on her nose is bigger than what’s behind that bra padding.

  26. Bruce Sprinsteen Lady Gaga Terry Richardson
    Commented on this photo:

    Good to see the ghost from Three Men and a Baby making an appearance.

  27. Taylor Lautner Football Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Hee, hee, hee, ha, ha, ha…This is like heaven! If only that pasty skinned vampire kid was here too! Oops…I just came.

  28. Taylor Lautner Football Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “TAG! Now you’re made of wood!”

  29. Bruce Sprinsteen Lady Gaga Terry Richardson
    Commented on this photo:

    This looks like it will be the best Tim Burton movie, ever!

  30. Selma Blair Bony Chest No Bra Under Open Sweater Playing With Son
    Commented on this photo:

    The world hasn’t been the same since she crawled out of that TV set and into our nightmares.

  31. Khloe Kardashian Cleavage Huge Forehead X Factor Finalists Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    Her want Snu Snu.

  32. Selma Blair Bony Chest No Bra Under Open Sweater Playing With Son
    Commented on this photo:

    Arthur: “AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhh! Sweet JESUS, it’s STILL after me! Why can’t I go any faster?”

  33. Khloe Kardashian Cleavage Huge Forehead X Factor Finalists Press Conference
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    If Peg Bundy and Yokozuna mated…

  34. Quentin Tarantino Samuel L Jackson Kerry Washington Jamie Foxx 106 & Park
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wink, I’m going to have to select Bachelor #3.”

  35. Olivier Sarkozy Mary-Kate Olsen New York Nicks Game
    just here for the laughs
    Commented on this photo:

    ACK! She’s turning him into the Joker!

  36. Alanis Morissette Fat Mario Treadway
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s nice to see that the Grove is “Special Needs” friendly.

  37. Selma Blair Bony Chest No Bra Under Open Sweater Playing With Son
    just here for the laughs
    Commented on this photo:

    I would call her “Wonkboobs” but there are no boobs.

  38. Rose McGowan Charity Meets Fashion Holiday Celebration Honoring The World's Children At Affirmation Arts
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor Samantha from Sex and the City…just a dried out, old whore now.

  39. Demi Lovato X Factor Finalists Press Conference
    just here for the laughs
    Commented on this photo:

    Her eyes look like something crawled on them and died.

  40. Cesar Millan Hodling Dog Up To Face North Shore Animal League 2012 Awards Gala
    just here for the laughs
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh I could just eat you up! No really, I could!”

  41. Quentin Tarantino Samuel L Jackson Kerry Washington Jamie Foxx 106 & Park
    Commented on this photo:

    Tarantino: “Hey everyone, come see my movie!”

    Jackson: “When did I become too black for 106 & Park?”

    Washington & Foxx: “Sky rockets in flight…”

  42. Jude Law Scarf
    just here for the laughs
    Commented on this photo:

    That is the expression of a man whose clothes are way too tight.

  43. Alanis Morissette Fat Mario Treadway
    Commented on this photo:

    Defying all prior medical knowledge, she actually caught Down’s Syndrome.

  44. Olivier Sarkozy Mary-Kate Olsen New York Nicks Game
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Um, are you, are you enjoying that drink?”

    ‘Nah. Needs garlic.”

  45.  Maude Garrett Cleavage Miniskirt The Hobbit An Unexpected Journey Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Middle Earth ain’t got nothin’ on my Central America…

  46. Alanis Morissette Fat Mario Treadway
    Commented on this photo:

    I honestly did not know that Down’s Syndrome could be sexually transmitted.

  47. Khloe Kardashian Cleavage Huge Forehead X Factor Finalists Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    Her cheeks look like they’re about to suffocate her eyeballs. Maybe her whole body will turn on her and eat itself. Natural selection?

  48. Olivier Sarkozy Mary-Kate Olsen New York Nicks Game
    El Jefe
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone has serious daddy issues.

  49. Taylor Lautner Football Game
    Commented on this photo:

    I believe what they’re playing is a derivation of football called “Smear the Queer,” but in the modern, politically correct society, every player gets to be the queer.

  50.  Maude Garrett Cleavage Miniskirt The Hobbit An Unexpected Journey Premiere
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look at my map of Middle-Earth! That’s, like, the equator, right?”

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