The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 12.17.13

December 17th, 2013 // 251 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, which caps our day of coverage of plagiarists, serial rapists, and ground-standing, gun nut plagiarists, in other words, your typical light, airy celebrity fare. So let’s keep that ball rolling with animal attacks, public indecency, and crimes against humanity.

If the world of celeb news is a crack house (It is. Sweet Christ, it is.), then this collection is its septic tank. Enjoy,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Justin Long Watching Random Guy Hug Girlfriend Amanda Seyfried
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m a Mac.”
    “And I’m not PC.”

  2. Dog Jumping On Rita Ora Paws On Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Drug dog FTW!

  3. Dermot Mulroney Tharita Catulle August Osage County
    Commented on this photo:

    Sandra Bullock, Steven Tyler, and Skeletor walk into a teleporter …

  4. Abigail Breslin Tight Dress August Osage County Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    If I had dressed like this at 17, my mom would have murdered the shit out of me, despite the fact that I moved out when I was 16.

  5. Kim Basinger Slick Backed Hair Pinstripe Suit Grudge Match Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    You are not Diane Keaton. Knock it off.

  6. Micaela Schaefer Wonky Nipples No Bra See Through Dress Niklas Kauffeld Matthias Jahn KJ Fragrance Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    At what point in a woman’s life does she actually start thinking that shit is attractive?

  7. Christina Aguilera Cleavage The Voice
    anonym
    Commented on this photo:

    she has nicely done implants.

    it pays to hire the best plastic surgeon.

  8. Christina Aguilera Cleavage The Voice
    Commented on this photo:

    Does Captain Kirk know that she stole his chair?

  9. Julia Roberts Meryl Streep Gazing At Each Other August Osage County Premiere
    anonym
    Commented on this photo:

    Julia: What’s my breath smell like?

    Meryl: *smells crap and holds breath*

  10. Julia Roberts Meryl Streep Gazing At Each Other August Osage County Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Worst lesbian porno ever.

  11. Naomi Watts Butt Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    The International was a terrible movie.

  12. Abigail Breslin Tight Dress August Osage County Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Being more than twice her age makes me sad. And a little creepy.

  13. Justin Long Watching Random Guy Hug Girlfriend Amanda Seyfried
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture is going in the next Oxford dictionary under “cuckold”.

  14. John Mayer Fur Coat GMA
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    Popping and locking like it’s 1985.

  15. Will.i.am Stroke Mouth Tophat
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    “PUTTIN’ ONA RIIIIIIIIIIITZ”

  16. Dog Jumping On Rita Ora Paws On Face
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    “Good work, Scoob. It was actually Old Man Jenkins, trying to make the entertainment industry look even worse than it already is.”

  17. Abigail Breslin Tight Dress August Osage County Premiere
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    I absolutely approve.

  18. Uma Thurman Tibet House US 11th Annual Benefit Auction
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    *drunk burp*

  19. John Mayer Fur Coat GMA
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Like all the best fur trappers, he regularly climbs wondrous peaks

    (Yes, it’s a reference to Katy Perry’s breasts)

  20. Christina Aguilera Cleavage The Voice
    Marlo
    Commented on this photo:

    Why doesn’t that look like her? Has her nose always been that big?

  21. Abigail Breslin Tight Dress August Osage County Premiere
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Ironically, her character is a blossoming teenage girl who gets creeped on by a much older man

  22. Julia Roberts Meryl Streep Gazing At Each Other August Osage County Premiere
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Staring contest! Winner gets to be the Lead Actress submission for the Oscars. Annnd, go!….”

  23. Christina Aguilera Cleavage The Voice
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Forget The Voice. The Boobs speak for themselves.

  24. Will.i.am Stroke Mouth Tophat
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Now, the Will.i.am 2000 will demostrate how to have a seizure while still looking like a douche.

  25. Dermot Mulroney Tharita Catulle August Osage County
    Salem
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor Gomez! Dont do it Morticia! Dont do it!

  26. Christina Aguilera Cleavage The Voice
    Commented on this photo:

    Fat or thin, I love her. If she porks out again I will keep her in a hole in my basement and feed her scraps as my little dog and I watch.

  27. Christina Aguilera Cleavage The Voice
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to motorboat those tits, slide my tongue up her asshole and then bang her in the ass. She looks fantastic!

  28. Alec Baldwin Long Wool Overcoat Walking Two Small Dogs
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    - What a little shit!!!
    - I heard that. Fuck you too, Alec.
    - No, not you! I just saw what my dogs did!… (You little shit!)

  29. Julia Roberts Meryl Streep Gazing At Each Other August Osage County Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “That’s a nice necklace. It’d be a shame if some crazy middle age actress cracked you up side your head and took it! Know what I’m saying?”

  30. Sylvester Stallone Robert De Niro Grudge Match Premiere
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Love that Joker

  31. Kim Basinger Slick Backed Hair Pinstripe Suit Grudge Match Premiere
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Love that Joker

  32. Will.i.am Stroke Mouth Tophat
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a better performance than his acting debut in X men Origins: Wolverine.

  33. Dog Jumping On Rita Ora Paws On Face
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the literally a bitch slap.

  34. Alec Baldwin Long Wool Overcoat Walking Two Small Dogs
    Commented on this photo:

    “Alec, talk to me like you use to before we were married.”
    “Pbbbbbt!” (hangs up phone)

  35. Miley Cyrus Balancing Dancer On Feet Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Great! Now she’s a twerking instructor!

  36. Will.i.am Stroke Mouth Tophat
    Commented on this photo:

    ♪♫ “Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gaaaaaal…” ♪♫

  37. Bar Refaeli Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Look, it’s Israel’s favourite draft dodger (she married her cousin to escape the draft into the Israeli army).

    And now the same draft dodger claims she is an avid patriot of Israel!

    As long as, you know, somebody else does the hard work of actually *defending* it, that is.

  38. Justin Long Watching Random Guy Hug Girlfriend Amanda Seyfried
    Commented on this photo:

    “Uh honey… What are you doing?”
    *ziiiiiip* “Nothing.”
    “Oh…Okay. Um…where did you want this microwave?”
    “Right there… that;s the spot!”
    “Here?”
    “Go home Justin!”

  39. Uma Thurman Tibet House US 11th Annual Benefit Auction
    Commented on this photo:

    Her nipples are the straightest thing in this picture.

  40. Julia Roberts Meryl Streep Gazing At Each Other August Osage County Premiere
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hi mom.”

  41. John Mayer Fur Coat GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m done hunting wabbits.”

  42. Abigail Breslin Tight Dress August Osage County Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “You know, just for fun… you should re-enact that dance scene of yours from Little Miss Sunshine. I really think people would get a hoot out of it.” Every late night talk show producer.

  43. Micaela Schaefer Wonky Nipples No Bra See Through Dress Niklas Kauffeld Matthias Jahn KJ Fragrance Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    Who are these people and how did she get her nipples to point at each of them? Women be crazy, y’all!!

  44. Dermot Mulroney Tharita Catulle August Osage County
    crb
    Commented on this photo:

    I had no idea Peter Murphy was dating Dylan Mulroney

  45. Will.i.am Stroke Mouth Tophat
    Commented on this photo:

    Will.i.am going ep.i.leptic.

  46. Sylvester Stallone Robert De Niro Grudge Match Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks more like Grope Match.

  47. Dermot Mulroney Tharita Catulle August Osage County
    Commented on this photo:

    Iggy Pop is not impressed.

  48. Ben Stiller Blue Steel Face El Hormiguero
    MyGrandpaHitsMe
    Commented on this photo:

    Are they kneeling down? Or are TV hosts in Spain all short?

  49. Brooke Shields Derpface
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice to see her happy. Even tiny-to-herself-happy.

  50. Kim Basinger Slick Backed Hair Pinstripe Suit Grudge Match Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Willem Dafoe looks pretty.

Leave A Comment