The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 12.17.13

December 17th, 2013 // 251 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, which caps our day of coverage of plagiarists, serial rapists, and ground-standing, gun nut plagiarists, in other words, your typical light, airy celebrity fare. So let’s keep that ball rolling with animal attacks, public indecency, and crimes against humanity.

If the world of celeb news is a crack house (It is. Sweet Christ, it is.), then this collection is its septic tank. Enjoy,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Sylvester Stallone Robert De Niro Grudge Match Premiere
    Paddy McC
    Commented on this photo:

    Not a good color for Marilyn Manson…he’s much more an Autumn.

  2. John Mayer Fur Coat GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like he’s in a competition with himself to keep out-douching himself.
    Bravo, sir.

  3. Dermot Mulroney Tharita Catulle August Osage County
    Commented on this photo:

    Alright, is Dermot learning to pose from Haley Joel Osment or the other way around?

  4. Kim Basinger Slick Backed Hair Pinstripe Suit Grudge Match Premiere
    Paddy McC
    Commented on this photo:

    Not a good color for Marilyn Manson…he’s much more an Autumn.

  5. Abigail Breslin Tight Dress August Osage County Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Big Miss Sunshine

  6. Will.i.am Stroke Mouth Tophat
    Commented on this photo:

    Good thing he’s got the pants to catch the shart….

  7. Naomi Watts Butt Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    For a second I thought this was January Jones and she was done being subtle in her quest to rid herself of Xander.

    • No way. She would never dress him in neon yellow. It would make his lifeless little body too easy to spot as it slid beneath the waves forever.

  8. Miley Cyrus Balancing Dancer On Feet Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Dammit, she’s defeated the hipster ninjas we sent to liquidate her! We’ll have to think of another way…

  9. Justin Long Watching Random Guy Hug Girlfriend Amanda Seyfried
    Commented on this photo:

    Justin: Hey Harvey, ya got a role for me too?

  10. Justin Long Watching Random Guy Hug Girlfriend Amanda Seyfried
    Commented on this photo:

    Jonah, Jonah, Jonah!
    Not cool, bro. Not cool….

  11. Will.i.am Stroke Mouth Tophat
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Remember how you’ve been praying for Will.i.am to have a stroke? Merry Christmas!” – God

  12. Justin Long Watching Random Guy Hug Girlfriend Amanda Seyfried
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey! Hey! Hands off my woman, Senator Franken!”

  13. Kim Basinger Slick Backed Hair Pinstripe Suit Grudge Match Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I never thought I would rather do David Bowie

  14. Micaela Schaefer Wonky Nipples No Bra See Through Dress Niklas Kauffeld Matthias Jahn KJ Fragrance Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    Does the perfume smell like silicone? I bet it smells like silicone.

  15. Christina Aguilera Cleavage The Voice
    Commented on this photo:

    God, I wanna wreck this chick so bad. I bet she’s a beast in the sack.

  16. Micaela Schaefer Wonky Nipples No Bra See Through Dress Niklas Kauffeld Matthias Jahn KJ Fragrance Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, we know who’s gay in that picture

  17. Brooke Shields Derpface
    Commented on this photo:

    What, no mention of Jonah Hill in the background?

  18. Justin Long Watching Random Guy Hug Girlfriend Amanda Seyfried
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Honey? Can we get going? We’re gonna miss . . . Honey? We should probably get . . . Um . . . Sir? Could you let me and . . . Honey, are you done yet . . . Honey? Sir?”

  19. John Mayer Fur Coat GMA
    Odbarc
    Commented on this photo:

    Fur is about as much murder as ‘I was drunk’ is to rape.

  20. Kim Basinger Slick Backed Hair Pinstripe Suit Grudge Match Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Good to see the Robert Palmer girls all grown up.

  21. Micaela Schaefer Wonky Nipples No Bra See Through Dress Niklas Kauffeld Matthias Jahn KJ Fragrance Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    Marty Feldman nips.

  22. Kim Basinger Slick Backed Hair Pinstripe Suit Grudge Match Premiere
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Wibbly wobbly, cunty wunty.

  23. John Mayer Fur Coat GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    john mayer, animal slayer,
    used to be a player, now he can’t be gayer.

    • Joe Blow

      Bystander: “Do you know an animal was killed to make that coat?”

      Mayer: “Yeah, but I didn’t know there were any witnesses… so now I’ll have to kill you, too.”

  24. Justin Long Watching Random Guy Hug Girlfriend Amanda Seyfried
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey . . .wait one gosh-darn minute. I walk your dog, do your laundry, take out your garbage and carry your boxes, and you kiss this guy? THIS GUY? Jiminy cricket; what’s a guy gotta do around here?

  25. John Mayer Fur Coat GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that the roadkill he hit on his way there?

  26. Will.i.am Stroke Mouth Tophat
    Commented on this photo:

    DERP!

  27. Julia Roberts Meryl Streep Gazing At Each Other August Osage County Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I always just duct tape a couple coyote pets on when I go out too.

  28. Ben Stiller Blue Steel Face El Hormiguero
    Commented on this photo:

    Azul Steel

  29. Julia Roberts Meryl Streep Gazing At Each Other August Osage County Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Julia: “Tonight, I get to be George Clooney, and YOU have to be Julia Roberts!”

  30. John Mayer Fur Coat GMA
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    You have to admire a guy who can make his own coat entirely out of conquered muff.

  31. Naomi Watts Butt Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    we already know Zaloog. You don’t even have to say it.

  32. John Mayer Fur Coat GMA
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Not to drop names, but the guys from ‘Duck Dynasty’ made this for me. That’s how cool I am.”

  33. Dog Jumping On Rita Ora Paws On Face
    Commented on this photo:

    What? John Mayer and Rita Orr with a PDA?

  34. Dog Jumping On Rita Ora Paws On Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Down, bitch! That guy should get control his dog too.

  35. Dog Jumping On Rita Ora Paws On Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Rita: “And it’s a pleasure to meet you too, Miss Khardasian. You’ve really lost the baby weight!”

  36. Julia Roberts Meryl Streep Gazing At Each Other August Osage County Premiere
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    America’s Sweetheart 1979 and America’s Sweetheart 1989 plot on how they’re going to recruit Sandra Bullock to help them overthrow Jennifer Lawrence.

  37. Will.i.am Stroke Mouth Tophat
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Ooh, I just love a minstrel show!

  38. Alec Baldwin Long Wool Overcoat Walking Two Small Dogs
    Commented on this photo:

    you know what that sound is, you thoughtless little pig? That’s me motorboating your stepmother!

  39. Dermot Mulroney Tharita Catulle August Osage County
    Commented on this photo:

    the annual convention of people who hate their parents for giving them shitty names

  40. Justin Long Watching Random Guy Hug Girlfriend Amanda Seyfried
    Commented on this photo:

    Mac gets mad when PC gets his hard drive to close to his woman….

  41. Abigail Breslin Tight Dress August Osage County Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody is growing up NICELY!

  42. Dog Jumping On Rita Ora Paws On Face
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “What is it, Lassie? Rob Kardashian is fat? I already knew that, why would . . . Oh, fat-ER. Thanks, boy!”

  43. Will.i.am Stroke Mouth Tophat
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought black face was racist.

  44. Dog Jumping On Rita Ora Paws On Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Cum sniffing police dog.

  45. John Mayer Fur Coat GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    His raccoon coat is a wonderland.

  46. Miley Cyrus Balancing Dancer On Feet Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    “…And that’s how Justin Beiber was born!”

  47. Micaela Schaefer Wonky Nipples No Bra See Through Dress Niklas Kauffeld Matthias Jahn KJ Fragrance Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    Four boobs in one picture.

  48. Sylvester Stallone Robert De Niro Grudge Match Premiere
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t think it was possible for them to look older than they did in the previews. I stand corrected,

  49. Ali Larter Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice ass.

  50. Will.i.am Stroke Mouth Tophat
    Commented on this photo:

    Stroke.I.Am

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