The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 12.10.13

December 10th, 2013 // 304 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, which you can probably tell by today’s lead pic choice is almost completely devoid of breasts. Unless you count whatever this Tracy Anderson guy stuffed under his blouse. Wads of trash? I’m going with wads of trash. So with that said, welcome to one of the most random collections ever scraped from the emptiest of barrel bottoms. We’ve got Johnny Depp in the role John Travolta‘s agent is calling “Goddamnit, I’m so fucking fired,” Emma Thompson‘s guide to safe Ecstasy use on the red carpet, and Joan Rivers delivering the kill stroke on NYPD’s stop and frisk.

*sniffs, wipes tears, hands over badge and gun* “You don’t understand, Chief. She wouldn’t let me stop. She kept saying she hasn’t been manhandled like this since the night Ed McMahon went crazy on highballs and poppers.”

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Maria Menounos Butt Leather Panta Candice Swanepoel Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    I gotta be honest… I don’t I even remember if Maria Menounos has a face or not… and I don’t care.

  2. Joe Jonas Moustache Hoodie
    ElPolloDiablo
    Commented on this photo:

    Freddy Mercury, PI.
    [Cue Volkswagen beetle montage]

  3. Orlando Bloom Derpface
    Commented on this photo:

    And here we see the has-been actor in it’s native habitat, nervous as to whether it still has enough clout to get into the after party.

  4. Lorenzo Lamas Shawna Craig Bra See Through Dress Saving Mr Banks Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, Lorenzo…. you know how I know your career is in the shitter… ?”

  5. Johnny Depp Boxers Pants Around Ankles Mortdecai Set
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this a biopic about Roger Moore?

  6. Sarah Jessica Parker Cosmo 100 Luncheon
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    How much horsepower does that car have?

    (I’m being lazy today)

  7. Joe Jonas Moustache Hoodie
    Commented on this photo:

    Inside Joe’s head right now, “Seriously, I have no idea how or why those gay rumours persist!”

  8. Johnny Depp Boxers Pants Around Ankles Mortdecai Set
    AnnaD.
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait, so this is not a gay porn version of Dr. House?

  9. Dick Van Dyke Saving Mr Banks Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “And they call ME , ‘Dyke’!”

  10. President Obama Michelle Obama Rolling Eyes Nelson Mandela Tribute
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “See, black men be all like “Oh whateva, blah blah blah, and black women be all like “Uh-uh, psssh” – from Barack Obama’s inappropriately-timed memorial stand-up special

  11. Colin Farrell Annie Rose Buckley Saving Mr Banks Premiere
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Try not to react but they’re planning to kidnap you and force you to play the princess from “Brave” at Disneyland”

  12. Tracy Anderson Wonky Nipples Cosmo 100 Luncheon
    AnnaD.
    Commented on this photo:

    A “trainer” with big fake boobs & twiggy arms. Of course.

  13. Joe Jonas Moustache Hoodie
    Commented on this photo:

    The douchiness is strong on this one…

  14. Dick Van Dyke Saving Mr Banks Premiere
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Check out her expression; ironically, that was also Julie Andrew’s O-face!”

  15. Justin Bieber Visitin Philippines Typhoon Affected Residents
    Commented on this photo:

    Maple Christ is there to deliver all the ladyboys to the promised land.

  16. Avril Lavigne Cleavage 103.5 KISS FM’s Jingle Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    Rule number two was ‘don’t get the Mogwai wet’, stupid.

  17. Johnny Depp Boxers Pants Around Ankles Mortdecai Set
    Commented on this photo:

    London’s truck stops are a lot classier than Buffalo’s.

  18. President Obama Michelle Obama Rolling Eyes Nelson Mandela Tribute
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    clearly, the man hates freedom.
    secret muslim kommisar is not impressed with your ceremonial displays of admiration.

  19. Tracy Anderson Wonky Nipples Cosmo 100 Luncheon
    malaka
    Commented on this photo:

    give shorty a break.
    its cold outside!

  20. Justin Bieber Visitin Philippines Typhoon Affected Residents
    Commented on this photo:

    How the Philippinos Got Their Groove Back 3D. Coming soon.

  21. Mel B Cameltoe Yoga Pants Today Show
    Really ?
    Commented on this photo:

    Dwayne Dibley !!!!

    (One for the UK’ers maybe).

  22. Sarah Jessica Parker Cosmo 100 Luncheon
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like this one’s got the colic, Bill.

  23. President Obama Michelle Obama Rolling Eyes Nelson Mandela Tribute
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh kay, honey, I just meant Winnie Mandela looked good, not that she looked better than you.”

    “Mm-hm.”

  24. Tracy Anderson Wonky Nipples Cosmo 100 Luncheon
    Commented on this photo:

    They better shave down the bolts on those things before they cause an accident.

  25. Kevin Hart Hiding Behind Taller Woman Jay Z After Party LURE Nightclub
    Hasselhoff's Testicles
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s as tall as a lot of other famous people. Like him, Gloria Estefan is 5 feet 2 inches tall (1.57 m). Tom Cruise, Napoleon, Barney Rubble and Papa Smurf

  26. Kevin Hart Hiding Behind Taller Woman Jay Z After Party LURE Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yo girl make sure that cab got booster seats.”

  27. Orlando Bloom Derpface
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d have a stroke if Miranda Kerr left me, too.

  28. Jay-Z Vagina Hand Symbol Staples Center Performance
    Hasselhoff's Testicles
    Commented on this photo:

    Flashing the Freemason sign

  29. Jeff Anderson Gunter Creepy Facial Hair 6th Annual Manifest Your Destiny Toy Drive
    Commented on this photo:

    Ask the stylist for kabuki Whoopi Prince, get kabuki Whoopi Prince.

  30. Dick Van Dyke Saving Mr Banks Premiere
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this what I look like when I’m constipated?

  31. Anne Burrell Lesbian Haircut Fingerless Gloves Epicurious Editor In Chief Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    We’ll at least now I know what epicurious means. I remember when Ellen came out as epicurious, too.

  32. Justin Bieber Visitin Philippines Typhoon Affected Residents
    Commented on this photo:

    I love the dudes total look of disgust at how Bieber managed to fuck up a simple handshake.

  33. President Obama Michelle Obama Rolling Eyes Nelson Mandela Tribute
    Commented on this photo:

    OBAMA: “What, honey? All I said was I really liked his performance in The Shawshank Redemption.”

  34. Tracy Anderson Wonky Nipples Cosmo 100 Luncheon
    Commented on this photo:

    I think we can assume her celebrity trainer routine probably starts with “find a plastic surgeon” and ends with “where’s my check”

  35. Tracy Anderson Wonky Nipples Cosmo 100 Luncheon
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s obviously the same woman that’s been “training” Angelina Jolie.

  36. Colin Farrell Annie Rose Buckley Saving Mr Banks Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know what he’s saying, but since it’s Colin Farrell, it’s safe to assume she just learned the “F” word.

  37. Dick Van Dyke Saving Mr Banks Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’d do her!”

  38. Jay-Z Vagina Hand Symbol Staples Center Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yo, I saw that teen mom porno and the bitches butthole was like THIS big!”

    (see, I passed on the slow pitch yesterday but two days in a row is too much to ask)

  39. Jeff Anderson Gunter Creepy Facial Hair 6th Annual Manifest Your Destiny Toy Drive
    Commented on this photo:

    Ashford and Simpson are still around?

  40. Justin Bieber Visitin Philippines Typhoon Affected Residents
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at all the security around him…those people probably would love to smash his skull in

  41. Tracy Anderson Wonky Nipples Cosmo 100 Luncheon
    Farkwad
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Vanna White, show us your two “T’s”

  42. President Obama Michelle Obama Rolling Eyes Nelson Mandela Tribute
    Commented on this photo:

    KISS CAM!!! KISS CAM!!! Aww, come on you guys.

  43. Colin Farrell Annie Rose Buckley Saving Mr Banks Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “This is the moment when your life begins its hellish spiral into drugs and depression….Welcome to Hollywood”

  44. Lorenzo Lamas Shawna Craig Bra See Through Dress Saving Mr Banks Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    She just ripped one and he can smell it. Tell me that’s NOT what is going on here.

  45. Mel B Cameltoe Yoga Pants Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    I can tell what religion she is! Wait, that joke doesn’t work for ladies does it?

  46. Johnny Depp Boxers Pants Around Ankles Mortdecai Set
    harry stools
    Commented on this photo:

    This is a depiction of his initiation long ago…minus the blood and screaming

  47. President Obama Michelle Obama Rolling Eyes Nelson Mandela Tribute
    harry stools
    Commented on this photo:

    This shows how difficult it really is to find a beard who never forgets their place

  48. Johnny Depp Boxers Pants Around Ankles Mortdecai Set
    Commented on this photo:

    ” Just because I dropped a nickle on the ground doesn’t mean you have to play Lone Ranger in my ass !”

  49. Sarah Jessica Parker Cosmo 100 Luncheon
    Commented on this photo:

    ” Hey hey hey who let the horse out of the stable?”

  50. Tracy Anderson Wonky Nipples Cosmo 100 Luncheon
    Commented on this photo:

    Those are some nice size lifesaver nipples there.

Leave A Comment