The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 11.26.13
Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, which will probably be the last one until after Thanksgiving, so here’s my advice for dealing with your bullshit extended family on Native American Genocide Day. Anytime your uncle says “Obama” or “Obamacare,” you take a shot or chug the closest alcohol to you. (Yes, mouthwash and your aunt’s Gin & Fanta are both completely acceptable.) Anytime your grandfather starts a sentence with “Well, on Fox News they said,” you’re allowed to smash the porcelain gravy boat and stab him in the neck. Finally, if anyone brings up Breaking Bad, you immediately praise it as Jesus’ gift unto television and compare it to The Wire and/or The Sopranos. Or you could just bypass the whole meal and go shopping, because fuck retail employees. They aren’t even real people, amirite corporate America?!
Ok, holiday rant complete. Time for some links, let me see what I’ve got here. There’s the usual butts, blah blah, Ashley Greene dying in the street, yadda yadda The Pope’s epic battle with Satan and HOLY SHIT, Aaron Carter’s just making out with fans in the front row now.
That should hold you guys over,
- Photo Boy