Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which lacks an Easter Egg like we left for you yesterday, but let’s be fair, there are only so many stand-ups willing to perform completely sackless. Wait, someone get Dane Cook on the line. Anyway, today we do have January Jones just before getting randomly selected for additional screening, as well as Tom Daley invoking the mythical power of Hamm Hog, and finally, just when it was looking like Mitt Romney‘s celebrity endorsements couldn’t get any classier, he pulls out the hillbilly ace-in-the-hole.
Fuchsia kicks are straight gangster,
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So this is how you say trainwreck in Spanish.
much more nicely shaped than kim’s.
Because it’s real and Kim’s ain’t.
Two assholes looking for a tube of Preparation H.
yes. she’s about 6 feet, and a bean pole.
She’s 5’11″, so with heels she would be…what?…maybe 6’3″? I’ve always thought her to be incredibly pretty, but obviously her body — especially her butt — is not her strongest asset. Lovely face, though.
Its pretty sad when I’d rather look at the drawing of an ass on her hand rather than her own actual ass.
Always a key fob, never a key.
No way. The guy that drives a “General Lee” is against Obama? I am shocked.
Are those butt pads?
I am certain of it.
http://www.feelfoxy.com/Formed_Butt_Enhancer_p/7011.htm
Still taking No-Ass-At-All pills?
Huh, I forgot something? My baby? Oh, you can keep him.
Q: How do you make a turtleneck look sexy?
A: This
I guess she looks like shit, after Arnold used her as toilette paper
“It’s made out of stars” – 2001, A Space Odyssey
shabba!
That’s…not what they mean when they say “flashing”.
One of Swift’s ‘World’s worst shorts’ collection!
Youre gross, Courtney Stodden!
this isnt Fat Amy from Pitch Perfect?!
Lady Gaga’s busted up tranny ass making chubby chicks everywhere feel better about themselves.
“Now I, Skeletor, am master of the universe.”
Peasants … too close… draining me… like Kryptonite…
Guts move wearing this to the Sandusky trial..
Between Xtina’s new album cover and this guy, I’m starting to wonder how bad this Shiny Baginy epidemic is going to get…
Blame Jennifer Love Hewitt and the “vajazzle”. Obviously the “pejazzle” is here.
Shouldn’t she be out somewhere practicing medicine? Oh, wait, that’s right… she’s completely unqualified to give a medical opinion. Well, I guess it’s never stopped he before.
He used Capone’s hidden gold to buy that sweet ride….
hello
You can stick it where the sun don’t shine
yabadabadu
She’s looking for a man with 2 left hands
Good catch, I did not see that the first time.
GMTA!
Steven Tyler seems to be wearing a more moderate outfit today…
Clearly this means that anyone who is still planning to vote for Obama is even dumber than Kid Rock. Kid Rock banged Pam Anderson. Do you really want to be dumber than someone who willingly banged Pam Anderson?
Another title arises for the world’s shortest books collection -
The Extent Of Taylor Swift’s Ass
Mickey Rourke better watch out, there’s a contender in the house.
Those Illuminati lizards do so love their human stews.
Pump that gas, pork chop…
What’s with the helmet? There isn’t anything in there to damage.
Hey, lady, Africa called: it wants its mineral deposits back.
I would tear that apart…
Wow. This remake can’t possibly go wrong in a thousand different ways.
Well, to be fair, they did seem to cast the most Korean-looking Hollywood actor who’s not actually Korean.
A public service reminder that vaccines cause autism, but getting breast implants—and then changing them every ten years—is totally totally safe.
Nice one!
“Hang on one second. I’m gonna barf”.
Carla Gugino presents, “These Girls”.
This is who’s playing the Tahnee Welch role in the Cocoon remake? LAME.
“Nope. This one smells like Kardashian, too”.
This chick is a fucking chameleon. I have no idea what she actually looks like.
FOAD x 2
I wonder if he found those gloves in Al Capone’s vault…
“I’m not patting her down. I did it last time, and the frostbite hasn’t healed yet.”
I thought this was Gweneth Paltrow with a new hair color for a minute.
Tom Cruise is on the phone right now offering to get those thetans out of his crotch.