Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which lacks an Easter Egg like we left for you yesterday, but let’s be fair, there are only so many stand-ups willing to perform completely sackless. Wait, someone get Dane Cook on the line. Anyway, today we do have January Jones just before getting randomly selected for additional screening, as well as Tom Daley invoking the mythical power of Hamm Hog, and finally, just when it was looking like Mitt Romney‘s celebrity endorsements couldn’t get any classier, he pulls out the hillbilly ace-in-the-hole.
Fuchsia kicks are straight gangster,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
CAN’T DRESS LIKE A MAN FOR ONE INSTANT!
What’s with the dayglo boots?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Full dorkification in 3 – 2 – 1… Complete.
Lookin a little Dean Cain-ish.
I was thinking the same thing.
Same old icy glare.
What’s more embracing? A shallow, degrading, empty shell of a human being as a girlfriend? Or fluorescent pink shoes?
They’re watermelon-coloured.
Eep! *Slaps hands over mouth*
That was funny but I don’t know if that comment was racist or gay.
Doesn’t matter Bionic_Crouton, because with this woman and these boots, NO ONE will support this SUPREME DOUCHE.
@Bionic Crouton :)
It was *appalled at sounding racist*, but I can totally see where it also sounds gay. :D
“Officer, I’ll warn you one more time. Due to my carbon steel skeleton, I will short-circuit this x-ray device. Then I will rip your head off and punt it.”
Later, Pierce Brosnan would choke to death on his own vomit, while Walter stood by silently watching.
Geraldo Rivera borrowed Gorge Lucas’ neck to keep him warm during his bike ride.
Stand up for skate parks?! Now there’s a career high.
Fuck yes.
Her spine can’t even hold up her boobs…I totally approve!
see, and we thought Gaga was NEVER going to put clothes on! Thank goodness for her getting fat!
“No seriously dudes,…..you guys gonna be hanging out like, later on tonight. I’ll BE here, man. I’m not joking!”
Giant, Two-Headed, Black, Propeller Penis! Get yours today!
Psssst! Kid! Kid! Hold up three more fingers! We went over this like a million times!
“Balls are itchy. Gotta itch my balls.”
Yeah Kim, we think it’s funny he put on your sneakers by accident too.
What’s the name of the award they give to the best photograph of the year ?
That’s what this should get.
Holy crap, Maria! What are you trying to do here? Impersonate a maid?
He should have used Jon Hamm’s Photoshop expert.
I’m *such* a big fan. Do you mind vomiting on this for me?
Come on, titty. Come on, titty.
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Oh man! I loved that Chapelle episode! Thanks TF
Well done, Tom.
“Hey everyone, I’m gonna have to sing that song from down here. See, I just got this POS in the right position, where it will stop cutting out on me… I’d buy a new one…but… so, who want s to hear boombastic?”
That is not an ass. That’s flass.
“That’s right, folks. We CAN”T afford four more years of Islamo-What’s-His-Face! Also, I can’t afford a descent outfit! Also, where am I? Get this needle outta my arm!”
Are you sure that’s not Penny Marshall? Holy shit.
Does she have Doc’s sunglasses from BTTF 2 hanging off her blouse?
“So which one of you buggering chaps is ‘Burton’ and ‘Trent’?”
It makes sense…they’re both from another planet.
“Get outa here you damned homeless, handicapped orphans! We’re trying to save the Skate Parks here!”
“Hm, I didn’t order Man Soup, but I wouldn’t mind giving it a taste.”
On her way to the cattle call for “Stepford Wives II”
Not pictured: her Dalmatian coat.
The man just oozes raw sex appeal. It’s no wonder, he’s been married five times.
Going to make the unwanted serious comment. Tony has helped build skateparks in over 500 underprivileged communities around the country serving millions of poor kids from small towns to inner cities. He’s donated over $4 million worth of grants. It’s a pretty decent cause.
Um…because what poor kids need most are skateparks?
Yeah actually. Gives them a place to be other than getting shot at and selling drugs. It’s a safe place to be.
So is school…in theory.
Um…no one said this was in place of school. I’m sure you’ve heard of evenings and weekends…and summer. That’s when kids go to the skatepark. Not during school hours.
I do agree and understand where you are coming from. It is a nice thing, and I don’t want to look down on him for that.
That being said, there are children being raped and pillaged in Sudan as we speak, and so skateparks don’t seem to be at the top of the priority list.
Then again, it’s all important, and as long as everyone stands up for something it’s ok.
But I don’t skate, and I kind of agree with Vito… what happened to just doing your fucking homework? I mean, very few kids are going to make a living skating, but they will from graduating from fucking school.
Nobody is suggesting they go to the skatepark instead of school. Evenings. Weekends. Summer. And, actually, lots of people make a living at skateboarding. Skateboarding is bigger than youth baseball. Maybe you are just old and out of touch. Those wacky kids and their crazy skateboards have been part of the mainstream for awhile now.
” Skateboarding is bigger than youth baseball.”
I believe you are wrong about this. Show us some numbers and a source.
Yeah, I know…baseball seems precious. But it’s not nearly as popular as you think. Among the classic mainstream sports, it’s only the 6th ranked popular sport amongst kids. Way behind soccer and basketball and others. I can dig out more stats for you if you really want them, but little league baseball (and softball) has a little over 2.6 million participants. Skateboarding has over 11 million. If you need more information, go to the Tony Hawk Foundation website.
Glass case microphone stand…check.
Scotch tape holding the cord to microphone…check.
“Celebrity” who had a career a decade ago…check.
Let’s start this Mexican press conference!
Did he lose his arms in a drive-by or something?
Did she think she needed to point?
“Tinkerbell, It’s over between us! Leave my dick alone!”
After Madonna threatened to strip, the GOP had no other choice but to bring in their closer.
Looks like a contestant asking for a lifeline on Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
is that time in a movie where you hear a quire like “ahhhhhhhhhh”…..
Props for the most imaginative misspeling of “choir” to date.
And props to me for the typo in “misspelling”. I gotta get a bigger keyboard.
I forget which law of the Internet it is that anyone who comments to correct a spelling/grammar error will make a spelling/grammer error of his or her own.
(That was deliberate. I had to do it—it’s the law!)
Hahaha I was looking for the misspelling!! Found it! Well done! Such a fun hump day game.
I see what you did there!
And the winner for best misspelling of choir goes to….
Question..did you even attempt to spell it correctly or was this done on purpose?
Just admit that you always thought “choir” was spelled “quire” and I will be on my way.
I had to say it out loud to work out what he meant.
Yeah, fonics r a lot uf phun!
“Oh yeah? Are you hooked on phonics?”
“No, I’m not hooked on phonics, I can quit anytime.”
Kate seems to be deep in happy thoughts about the guy on the far left.
She loves the dark meat.
“Blah blah blah blah boy blah blah blah blah blah girl blah blah blah love blah…”
Well, no need to buy her album now.
Please turn this into a Far Side-style cartoon, “What Taylor Swift Fans Hear.”
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Kelly Osbourne is back.
I’ll take five more Stacy Londons in lieu of whatever this is.
No matter how annoyed Kanye looks, Kim is always smiling and soaking up the attention.
In her defense (that hurt to type), doesn’t he almost always look annoyed no matter what is happening?
And Kim almost always wears that coy, coquettish look. They look like a poster for Bi-Polar Disorder…
STOP!!!! you CAN touch this…pananana
I’m just not sure how more perfect this photo could be.
Something about to hit his face could be flying through the frame. Like a brick or rotten fruit. I’m open to other suggestions though.
Her ass ends where that zipper begins… why the hell is there another 8 inches of pants?
High-waisted shorts/pants are a style that goes pretty far back. It does not work for everyone, as we can see here.