The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 10.8.13

October 8th, 2013 // 445 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, your daily retreat from your conscience. A place where you’re free to make wild assumptions about celebrities based on a single awkwardly timed photograph. Gay sex, you’re almost certainly thinking! Or take this shot of Gerard Butler. Sure, gay sex probably works here too, but I know one of you out there has a port-a-potty/300 zinger ready to go. Then there’s Denise Richards having no choice but to play along and brush off the spiders before Charlie starts firing a gun at them, Heidi Klum with a penis-shaped object near her face and Joe Jonas wearing a shirt with words written on it, which is a great idea look for him that will in no way get twisted into misconceptions about the type of person he puts his penis in.

Extra homophobia, but no politics. Am I making progress? Discuss,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Carol Alt Butt Tight Dress Gray Line Ride Of Fame Event In Her Honor
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Melanie Griffith is 3 years older than Carol Alt…

    That noise you just heard was Antonio Banderas jumping off a tall building.

  2. Matthew Perry Huading Awards Ceremony
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    “DO YOU KNOW WHO I FUCKING *AM*??”

    “No”

  3. Reese Witherspoon Butt Tight Jeans
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like someone is up for another exciting game of “Try not to hit any pedestrians.”

  4. Heidi Klum Eating Popsicle At Kids Soccer Game
    Rasputin's Evil Twin
    Commented on this photo:

    Huh, they finally came out with the “Rainbow Party” line of ice pops/sex toys? about time!

  5. Christopher Lambert 92nd Arc De Triomphe Race
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Bet he can’t even get his sword up anymore.

  6. John Ratzenberger Google Glass An Evening Honoring James Burrows Academy Of Television Arts & Sciences
    Commented on this photo:

    “How did Jordi LaForge see through this thing?”

  7. Scarlett Johansson Falling Down Meme Jon Hamm Penis Jennifer Westfeldt
    rican
    Commented on this photo:

    I recognize that person to the left. They must be shooting Weekend at Bernie’s 4!

    • HummpinFrog

      One does not simply put Sophia Loren in the same pictures as a large swinging ham and bouncing melons. She’s a seasoned actress for Christ sakes. Out of her way! – said the hair and eyebrows of her doppelgänger.

  8. John Travolta Creepy Small Goatee Gray Streaked Long Hair Wig The Forger Set
    sc4play
    Commented on this photo:

    John misread the script. Thought it was ‘The Fudge Packer.’

  9. Anne Burrell Legs Short Shorts
    sc4play
    Commented on this photo:

    For the love of God and all humanity, keep those legs crossed!

  10. Anne Burrell Legs Short Shorts
    rican
    Commented on this photo:

    Phillip Seymour Hoffman is such an eclectic guy.

  11. Jada Pinkett Smith Shaved Head Willow Smith Hoodie Pulled Over Head LAX
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Mohawk. 450 dollars.
    Trinitiy’s Boots: 6500 dollars.
    Willow’s eternal shame and humiliation: Priceless.

  12. Prince William The Football Association 150 Year Celebration Event
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    “Do you think they suspect, mate?”

  13. Melanie Griffith 11th Annual Best In Drag Show
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    I call bull. That is not Melanie Griffith. No way.
    That’s not even human.

  14. Jennifer Lopez Butt Velour Dress HRC National Dinner
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does Jennifer Lopez look more Chinese every year?

  15. Bar Refaeli Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh. Fuck. Yes.

  16. John Travolta Creepy Small Goatee Gray Streaked Long Hair Wig The Forger Set
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    “See the third star from the left? That’s where Xenu lives….”

  17. Gerard Butler Squatting Next To Bike
    Commented on this photo:

    When you gotta go, you gotta go.

  18. Gerard Butler Squatting Next To Bike
    Icehawg
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured : John Travolta on the other side of that glory hole.

  19. Khloe Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Jeans
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    “Just in case people weren’t sure about its gender.”

  20. Michael Lohan Pushing Son In Stroller Talking On Cellphone
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, that poor, poor child…

  21. Chad Ochocinco Checking Out Womans Ass Overtown Set
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Badonkadonk radar initiated…. locking target.

  22. Khloe Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    I never thought movable speed bumps would catch on.

  23. Anne Burrell Legs Short Shorts
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    “Martini? No. This is the souls of all those that dare gaze upon my thighs….”

  24. Matthew Perry Huading Awards Ceremony
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    See. I’m still relevant. Wait… come back… please.

  25. Reese Witherspoon Butt Tight Jeans
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    No Deacon, you cannot come out of the trunk yet.

  26. Anthony Mackie Jennifer Connelly Falling Down In The Rain Shelter Set
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    The zero airspeed hover is really tough to get right in a Do-It-Yourself jetpack.

  27. Joe Jonas Sorry Im A Stranger Here Myself Shirt
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear Joe:
    Let me be the first to welcome you to planet earth.

  28. Ashley Roberts Butt Tight Dress Pride Of Britain Awards
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Its like two very angry platypi playing in a rucksack.

  29. Christopher Lambert 92nd Arc De Triomphe Race
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    This IS me smiling.

  30. Carol Alt Butt Tight Dress Gray Line Ride Of Fame Event In Her Honor
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    See…. told you my breasts have super powers.

  31. Prince William The Football Association 150 Year Celebration Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “Tee-heee-hee. Kate hasn’t tickled me balls like that since before the birth of me boy.”

  32. Anthony Mackie Jennifer Connelly Falling Down In The Rain Shelter Set
    Commented on this photo:

    This should be the movie poster. Nothing else about it should be released, i bet people watch just to figure out what the hell is going on in this scene.

    • cc

      It’s easy. A poor man reduced to collecting dew worms for a living. A single woman, who has sacrificed everything to be a a high powered exec on Wall Street, walks to her Land Rover and is dismayed to see she has a ticket.

      Their eyes meet. They fall in love.

  33. Olivier Martinez Huge Baguette Under Arm
    Commented on this photo:

    “Haha, he thought you said, ‘Look at that little baguette.’”

  34. Quentin Tarantino Jeremy Irons Huading Awards Ceremony
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Yup, I can’t believe that shit either…getting to reprise David Carradine’s Kung Fu role at my age.

  35. Michael Lohan Pushing Son In Stroller Talking On Cellphone
    caley
    Commented on this photo:

    “Siri, where can I kick a woman in the vagina?”

  36. Joe Jonas Sorry Im A Stranger Here Myself Shirt
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    Almost makes me wonder what’s written on his underwear. Almost.

  37. Nicole Kidman Death Stare Variety 5th Annual Power Of Women Event
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t you be eyeballin’ me boy

  38. Gerard Butler Squatting Next To Bike
    Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Literally “The Crap We Missed – Tuesday”.

  39. Gerard Butler Squatting Next To Bike
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Here comes Dirty Johnny,
    Pisses in the corner,
    Shits on the floor,
    Wipes his with a 2 by…er, giant piece of laminate

  40. Heidi Klum Eating Popsicle At Kids Soccer Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait? Is this code for “I’m dating Carrot Top” now?

  41. Anne Burrell Legs Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Step down from your throne of lies Fish, this is clearly Gary Busey on the set of “To Wong Fo Two, Because You Will Watch Anything.”

  42. Denise Richards Charlie Sheen Scratching Themselves Pumpkin Patch
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, look, this one looks just like Cameron Diaz!

  43. Carol Alt Butt Tight Dress Gray Line Ride Of Fame Event In Her Honor
    Commented on this photo:

    a little perplexed when i see such wonderful legs attached to such an underwhelming tush.

  44. Nicole Scherzinger Butt Tight Dress Pride Of Britain Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Of all the time not to wear something sheer.

  45. Bar Refaeli Bikini Instagram
    Jake
    Commented on this photo:

    She can nail my Messiah to the cross any day of the week.

  46. Anne Burrell Legs Short Shorts
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I know where she’s baking some yeast.

  47. Avril Lavigne Huading Awards Ceremony
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Does Chad make me dress like a schoolgirl at home? You guys keep asking me that.

  48. Olivier Martinez Huge Baguette Under Arm
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    No real Frenchman buys grated parmesan. Shame on him.

  49. Prince William The Football Association 150 Year Celebration Event
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Neigh!

  50. Avril Lavigne Huading Awards Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not saying she’s a slut, but she’s been around the world so many times she’s covered with travel stamps.

Leave A Comment