The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 10.8.13

October 8th, 2013 // 445 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, your daily retreat from your conscience. A place where you’re free to make wild assumptions about celebrities based on a single awkwardly timed photograph. Gay sex, you’re almost certainly thinking! Or take this shot of Gerard Butler. Sure, gay sex probably works here too, but I know one of you out there has a port-a-potty/300 zinger ready to go. Then there’s Denise Richards having no choice but to play along and brush off the spiders before Charlie starts firing a gun at them, Heidi Klum with a penis-shaped object near her face and Joe Jonas wearing a shirt with words written on it, which is a great idea look for him that will in no way get twisted into misconceptions about the type of person he puts his penis in.

Extra homophobia, but no politics. Am I making progress? Discuss,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Quentin Tarantino Jeremy Irons Huading Awards Ceremony
    KNeel
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m so glad they’re bringing Harry and Lloyd back for a new movie.

  2. Denise Richards Charlie Sheen Scratching Themselves Pumpkin Patch
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    It raises the question: is the path to happiness lined with many thousands of dollars in child support and many kilos of high quality blow?

  3. Gerard Butler Squatting Next To Bike
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, he could go shit in the porta pot, but then the stink would ruin the mood when he brings his lady friends in there for some romantic time.

  4. Christopher Lambert 92nd Arc De Triomphe Race
    PathosAvenger
    Commented on this photo:

    What, ONLY ONE picture?

  5. Anne Burrell Legs Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Kinda starting to miss Paula Deen

    • Of course the difference is Anne is an actual chef who paid her dues and kicks ass. (Sorry, even being out of it this long, I have to stick up for the culinary profession.)

  6. Reese Witherspoon Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    So Deacon was really Reese Witherspoon this whole time. No wonder he was always posting shit like, “Reese sure is funny, talented, pretty, a great mom, loves anal, and snowballs like a pro.” Now we know.

  7. Olivier Martinez Huge Baguette Under Arm
    PassingTrue
    Commented on this photo:

    That is *not* how to pinch a loaf.

  8. Joe Jonas Sorry Im A Stranger Here Myself Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    He must be going somewhere straight.

  9. Matthew Perry Huading Awards Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    “Could one of you @#$@’ers point me to Hollywood Boulevard? I can do this myself!”

  10. Gerard Butler Squatting Next To Bike
    Schadenfreude
    Commented on this photo:

    This! Is! Fartaaaaaa!

  11. Ashley Roberts Butt Tight Dress Pride Of Britain Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess I see why Britain invited her to the party.

  12. Khloe Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Huh. No shadow.

  13. Christopher Lambert 92nd Arc De Triomphe Race
    Commented on this photo:

    He might get hit by a German tank in that street.

  14. Christopher Lambert 92nd Arc De Triomphe Race
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Lambert, how many horses can be declared winner in the race?”
    “There can be only . . . awh, goddammit!”

  15. Melanie Griffith 11th Annual Best In Drag Show
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t imagine who goes into their plastic surgeon and says “Keep going until I look like Rosie Perez.”

    • Jester

      Her Doctor told her only two more surgeries and she can join the Jocelyn Wildenstein lookalike club.

  16. Denise Richards Charlie Sheen Scratching Themselves Pumpkin Patch
    Jenna
    Commented on this photo:

    And WTF is that thing in the upper left corner watching them from over the shrubs? Oh nevermind. I forgot Brooke was out of rehab.

  17. Michael Lohan Pushing Son In Stroller Talking On Cellphone
    PassingTrue
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmmm, how can I exploit this kid for a few bucks?

  18. Matthew Perry Huading Awards Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    If it weren’t for the hair, Id’ve thought that was Bob Newhart.

  19. Nicole Kidman Death Stare Variety 5th Annual Power Of Women Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mr’ Hamm’s eyes are up here, Nicole.”

  20. Scarlett Johansson Falling Down Meme Jon Hamm Penis Jennifer Westfeldt
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    Not bad, but the Tony Danza rollerblading pic is still my favorite celebrity fall-down image.

  21. Ireland Baldwin Cleavage Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    ass or gtfo

  22. Ireland Baldwin Cleavage Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    when we said “show us your ass”, we did not mean your douchey friend

  23. Denise Richards Charlie Sheen Scratching Themselves Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘well, the wheelbarrow of cocaine is empty, guess it’s time to throw some pumpkins in it and head home.’

  24. Matthew Perry Huading Awards Ceremony
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    They want to give me an award? …Me?!

  25. Corey Feldman Shauna Sand Hooker Bootsy Bellows
    Schadenfreude
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll take “Douchebags and Has Beens” for $500, Alex.

  26. Anthony Weiner At Playground With Son
    Commented on this photo:

    oh sure, but I’m not allowed within 1,000 feet of a playground!

  27. Melanie Griffith 11th Annual Best In Drag Show
    Schadenfreude
    Commented on this photo:

    I am not an animal!

  28. Gerard Butler Squatting Next To Bike
    Commented on this photo:

    Shit happens.

  29. Jada Pinkett Smith Shaved Head Willow Smith Hoodie Pulled Over Head LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    nice hair, Jada. Did you and Miley stay up all night doing each other’s hair?

  30. Avril Lavigne Huading Awards Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    Good thing for her the Chinese consider raccoons to be lucky.

  31. Michael Lohan Pushing Son In Stroller Talking On Cellphone
    Schadenfreude
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah, I think we’re only a few months away from a full blown coke addiction. Does Nickelodeon have a Baby Rehab show? No? Can you pitch that and see if we can get one started?”

  32. Harrison Ford Wetten Dass...? German TV Show
    Commented on this photo:

    A German TV show in which guests dress up like Mark Harmon and act frightened. Still better than Duck Dynasty.

  33. Heidi Klum Eating Popsicle At Kids Soccer Game
    Schadenfreude
    Commented on this photo:

    Color coded. Beginner level – Red; Intermediate level – Yellow; Expert Level – Green.

  34. Scarlett Johansson Falling Down Meme Jon Hamm Penis Jennifer Westfeldt
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Ow! My eye!

  35. Harrison Ford Wetten Dass...? German TV Show
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    Unfortunately, due to the language barrier, Ford instead ended up on the set of “Watts en die Ass…?”

  36. Harrison Ford Wetten Dass...? German TV Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Harrison ford found out just a little too late what the translation of “Wetten Dass’ actually is.

  37. Melanie Griffith 11th Annual Best In Drag Show
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t even know there was going to be an “Avatar 2.”

  38. Anthony Weiner At Playground With Son
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Does an unemployed internet sex addict now rate as a celebrity?
    Where ARE the site’s standards?

  39. Bar Refaeli Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Even her own torso smiles at how awesome it is.

  40. Joe Jonas Sorry Im A Stranger Here Myself Shirt
    Schadenfreude
    Commented on this photo:

    Interesting that they now spell douchebag as “Stranger”.

  41. Tanjareen Martin Side Boob Cleavage Hollywood Black Film Festival Closing Night
    Commented on this photo:

    With a clean shave and a nice dress that shows off some cleavage, Lawrence Fishburne looks pretty good!

  42. Heidi Klum Eating Popsicle At Kids Soccer Game
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    You can get his blood flowing with red, and you can make him smile as brightly as the sun by making it to yellow, but if you want his money, you’re gonna have to go all the way to green.

  43. Matthew Perry Huading Awards Ceremony
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    Even he can’t believe it.

  44. Olivier Martinez Huge Baguette Under Arm
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    It would have been so easy to Photoshop a beret on him.

  45. Michael Lohan Pushing Son In Stroller Talking On Cellphone
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Yeah, well tell that bitch she’s either rescinding the restraining order, or I’m coming over there right now to jam this fucking baby right back where it came from’.

  46. Anthony Weiner At Playground With Son
    Commented on this photo:

    “Anthony’s Weiner (not pictured) at a playground with his son”

    Caption was out of order, fixed it.

  47. Nicole Kidman Death Stare Variety 5th Annual Power Of Women Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Two seconds before devouring a guinea pig in front of Marc Singer’s horrified eyes.

  48. Scarlett Johansson Falling Down Meme Jon Hamm Penis Jennifer Westfeldt
    Nwambe
    Commented on this photo:

    Scarlett takes a tumble

  49. Harrison Ford Wetten Dass...? German TV Show
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Glad to see that Mr Ford doesn’t overdo it with the botox.

Leave A Comment