The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 10.8.13

October 8th, 2013 // 445 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, your daily retreat from your conscience. A place where you’re free to make wild assumptions about celebrities based on a single awkwardly timed photograph. Gay sex, you’re almost certainly thinking! Or take this shot of Gerard Butler. Sure, gay sex probably works here too, but I know one of you out there has a port-a-potty/300 zinger ready to go. Then there’s Denise Richards having no choice but to play along and brush off the spiders before Charlie starts firing a gun at them, Heidi Klum with a penis-shaped object near her face and Joe Jonas wearing a shirt with words written on it, which is a great idea look for him that will in no way get twisted into misconceptions about the type of person he puts his penis in.

Extra homophobia, but no politics. Am I making progress? Discuss,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Bar Refaeli Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Jewsy rack.

  2. Scarlett Johansson Falling Down Meme Jon Hamm Penis Jennifer Westfeldt
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Im not sure what is scarier.

    Seeing a perfect outline of an enlarged penis/balls through his pants or that bitch’s facelift on the right…

  3. Gerard Butler Squatting Next To Bike
    Commented on this photo:

    That unicycle makes no sense.

  4. Gerard Butler Squatting Next To Bike
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, woman! Does this work for you?!”

  5. Nicole Kidman Death Stare Variety 5th Annual Power Of Women Event
    Commented on this photo:

    If Nicole Kidman is at the “Power of Women” event, it’s because she’s demonstrating the next generation hydrogen fuel cell technology the fembot engineers installed in her.

  6. Anthony Mackie Jennifer Connelly Falling Down In The Rain Shelter Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Insert Johansson beneath them.

  7. Denise Richards Charlie Sheen Scratching Themselves Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    The crack pack.

  8. Anthony Weiner At Playground With Son
    Commented on this photo:

    (in low voice)
    “Would you do me??…..I’d do me..”

  9. Nicole Kidman Death Stare Variety 5th Annual Power Of Women Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “…And it’s retractable, too. When I need more light on whatever I’m working on, I can just pull the hairline back!”

  10. Corey Feldman Shauna Sand Hooker Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    That skank will do anything for attention.

  11. Denise Richards Charlie Sheen Scratching Themselves Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    ” I Love the pumpkin patch!”
    “Me too!”
    “Except it has all of those bugs that crawl under your skin!”
    “I know, right?”

  12. Anthony Weiner At Playground With Son
    Commented on this photo:

    “Who is sending me penis pictures, and how did he get this number?”

  13. Peta Murgatroyd Ripped Abs Sports Bra DWTS Practice
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Heavens to murgatroyd.

  14. Anthony Weiner At Playground With Son
    Commented on this photo:

    Also not pictured:
    Shame
    Human interest
    Victory

  15. Harrison Ford Wetten Dass...? German TV Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “That fucking Luger shooting through three soldiers, that was my suggestion!”

  16. Harrison Ford Wetten Dass...? German TV Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “I shot first bitches! Translate that.”

  17. Corey Feldman Shauna Sand Hooker Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    That one on the left is smoking

  18. Quentin Tarantino Jeremy Irons Huading Awards Ceremony
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Haha, and then I told her, I’ve got inches if you’ve got feet!”

  19. Olivier Martinez Huge Baguette Under Arm
    Commented on this photo:

    A real caricature would be also wearing a blue striped shirt, a cravat, and a beret. The baguette does help, though.

  20. Reese Witherspoon Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Think that paper says Jones on it?

  21. John Ratzenberger Google Glass An Evening Honoring James Burrows Academy Of Television Arts & Sciences
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s still trying to find the origins of Yorkshire Pudding.

  22. Prince William The Football Association 150 Year Celebration Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ohh. Jolly right. That IS the capital of Thailand.”

  23. Jada Pinkett Smith Shaved Head Willow Smith Hoodie Pulled Over Head LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    At long last, Willow understands shame.

  24. Michael Lohan Pushing Son In Stroller Talking On Cellphone
    Commented on this photo:

    America: Where parents don’t parent and dogs don’t walk.

  25. Anthony Mackie Jennifer Connelly Falling Down In The Rain Shelter Set
    Commented on this photo:

    On the night that I went, Act 3 or “Stomp” went entirely wrong!

  26. John Travolta Creepy Small Goatee Gray Streaked Long Hair Wig The Forger Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “hey boys…..2 for 1 deal today….I’ll be in the same blue van on the corner when the lunch whistle blows.”

  27. Tanjareen Martin Side Boob Cleavage Hollywood Black Film Festival Closing Night
    Commented on this photo:

    What? I’ve never heard of a fruit called “martin”

  28. Matthew Perry Huading Awards Ceremony
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    I found this thing in my attic. How many Vicodins can I get for it?

  29. Anthony Weiner At Playground With Son
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    “How did Weiner send me this photo of his junk? He’s not even holding a phone!”

  30. John Travolta Creepy Small Goatee Gray Streaked Long Hair Wig The Forger Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone forged him up some hair.

  31. Harrison Ford Wetten Dass...? German TV Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “NEIN! NEIN! NICHT IN MEINEN ARSCH!”

  32. Khloe Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    That black girl in front of her looks like one of the aliens from “Fire in the Sky” with a wig.

  33. Gerard Butler Squatting Next To Bike
    Commented on this photo:

    Ice Cube’s dad won’t let ANYONE in his house to poop.

  34. Melanie Griffith 11th Annual Best In Drag Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “So lately, Transvestites seem to just LOVE me!”

  35. Denise Richards Charlie Sheen Scratching Themselves Pumpkin Patch
    Commented on this photo:

    DENISE: “I knew I shouldn’t have slept with you again!”
    CHARLIE: “Just be glad it’s only crabs this time!”

  36. Avril Lavigne Huading Awards Ceremony
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    Any chance the “Huading Awards Ceremony” includes tossing a screeching banshee into a volcano to appease angry gods?

  37. Scarlett Johansson Falling Down Meme Jon Hamm Penis Jennifer Westfeldt
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    He just ejaculated and she slipped and fell in the puddle.

  38. Bar Refaeli Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she riding on a sailboat, or is that a jew canoe?

  39. Tanjareen Martin Side Boob Cleavage Hollywood Black Film Festival Closing Night
    Commented on this photo:

    A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper says, “Really? You have a drink named Murray?”

  40. Anne Burrell Legs Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Like Rosie O’donell and Pink had a kid.

  41. John Ratzenberger Google Glass An Evening Honoring James Burrows Academy Of Television Arts & Sciences
    Commented on this photo:

    Fun fact: That’s not Google Glass, that’s an eye laser.

  42. Joe Jonas Sorry Im A Stranger Here Myself Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s what he whispers through the glory hole in West Hollywood

  43. Prince William The Football Association 150 Year Celebration Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “OW! This is NOT working! One of us needs to turn around!”

  44. Olivier Martinez Huge Baguette Under Arm
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    After seeing what he did to Aubry’s face, I’m not making any cracks about this guy.

  45. Bar Refaeli Bikini Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d bomb that snatch like the PLO.

  46. Quentin Tarantino Jeremy Irons Huading Awards Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    Money. Helping old nasty looking weirdos like these two get laid since forever.

  47. Heidi Klum Eating Popsicle At Kids Soccer Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Suddenly, none of the dads are watching the game…

  48. Nicole Kidman Death Stare Variety 5th Annual Power Of Women Event
    yourmom
    Commented on this photo:

    “Of course I can raise my eyebrows…. see?”

  49. Nicole Kidman Death Stare Variety 5th Annual Power Of Women Event
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone call JJ Abrams. We have the new villain for the Star Wars movies.

  50. Corey Feldman Shauna Sand Hooker Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    “And before we hit Chateau Marmont, what say we have dinner at Olive Garden, eh? Nothing’s too good for my ladies!”

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