The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 10.30.12

October 30th, 2012 // 452 Comments

[Ed. Note: Short day today while we slowly rebuild the pieces of our lives i.e. return all these six packs to an acceptable drinking temperature. GODDAMN YOU, SANDY! WHERE'S YOUR SOUL?! Back tomorrow with a hopefully more robust line-up of famous people doing stupid and/or sexy shit. - SW]

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which I fortunately didn’t have to compile from a rescue raft. Today’s gallery is a little light and leaned heavily on Britain’s Pride Awards, which apparently require crazy eyes and/or mostly exposed breasts to qualify for, so well done, old chaps. We’ve also got self-styled honorary Brit, Gwyneth Paltrow responding to the suggestion that they donate this food to the homeless, as well as Rosanna Arquette or a midnight shift Waffle House waitress (There’s really no way to tell the difference anymore.), and finally, two nice young gentleman helping this old lady who fell and couldn’t get up.

Today’s Final Five is not JWoww. Make that mistake and get cut, bitch,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Ke$ha Legs Short Shorts Eye Make Up
    AZ
    Commented on this photo:

    amber rose

  2. Joe Simpson Fedora Gay
    zomgbie
    Commented on this photo:

    that hat says he hunts for twinks at the local weekly polka dance.

  3. Will Ferrell Wreck-It Ralph Premiere
    Rick
    Commented on this photo:

    Every time I see that imbecile’s face I want to back-hand bitch-slap him.

  4. Gwyneth Paltrow El Hormiguero Cooking Segment
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t you hear the most obnoxious laugh when you first saw this?

  5. Rosanna Arquette Old Tired Wrinkles The Moms Afternoon Tea Conversation About How To Stop Human Trafficking
    journalschism
    Commented on this photo:

    Give her a break. Cynthia Nixon costumes are tough to pull off.

  6. Laura Whitmore Cleavage Nipples Pride Of Britain Awards
    LilDeuceDeuce
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t see a thumbnail picture, just the text “Laura Whitmore Cleavage Nipples Pride of Britain Awards.” Sadly that description is far more exciting than the actual picture.

  7. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Skirt Kourtney Kardashian
    LilDeuceDeuce
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t see a thumbnail for this picture, just the text “Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Skirt Kourtney Kardashian.”

    Photo Boy must lie awake at night twitching, every thought transformed into a cluster of names and body parts: “Coco Cleavage J-Lo Love Hewitt Sideboob Hefty Bag full of Ass”

  8. Natalie Anderson Cleavage Side Boob Pride Of Britain Awards
    yoop
    Commented on this photo:

    How dare she flash those yellow chicklets to distract me from her tits. It almost worked, clever bird.

  9. Rosanna Arquette Old Tired Wrinkles The Moms Afternoon Tea Conversation About How To Stop Human Trafficking
    SexJihaad9/11
    Commented on this photo:

    Only white people could ever come up with a name like “The Moms Afternoon Tea Conversation About How To Stop Human Trafficking in West Hollywood.”

    Geeeeeeez.

  10. Laurence Fishburne Morpheus Clothes Obama Campaign Office
    lawn
    Commented on this photo:

    Cowboy Curtis has spent a little too much time on the range.

  11. Alessandra Ambrosio Legs Miniskirt
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    stick insect

  12. Jennifer Lopez Butt Glittery Bodysuit
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    This is not how you do the “Hokey Pokey”.

  13. Gwyneth Paltrow El Hormiguero Cooking Segment
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    We have slipped LSD into Gwyneth Paltrow’s drinking water. Lets see if she notices.

  14. Monica Cruz Sister Of Penelope Cruz Cleavage Skyfall Premiere
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    It is always good to have a back up just in case you lose one.

  15. Jennifer Lopez Butt Glittery Bodysuit
    Commented on this photo:

    Butt crust.

  16. Rosanna Arquette Old Tired Wrinkles The Moms Afternoon Tea Conversation About How To Stop Human Trafficking
    Commented on this photo:

    Faces of Pre-historic meth.

  17. Maria Shriver Courage In Journalism Awards
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hi, I’m Maria, and this is my first Idiots With Maid Fuckers meeting.”

  18. Laurence Fishburne Morpheus Clothes Obama Campaign Office
    Jamriqua
    Commented on this photo:

    crouching tiger, hidden fatty?

  19. Joe Simpson Fedora Gay
    Commented on this photo:

    His got the finances for some chicken.

  20. Gwyneth Paltrow El Hormiguero Cooking Segment
    Jamriqua
    Commented on this photo:

    “and then I said, hahahahahaha, sorry, this is so funny, lupe, por favor, necesito la llampada and she had NOOOOOOOO idea what the hell I was talking about! I needed my shoes clearly!”

  21. Joe Simpson Fedora Gay
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    Joe Simpson and his non-fat soy latte’ are off to the bus station to find runaway teenagers to pimp.

  22. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Skirt Kourtney Kardashian
    hedgehog
    Commented on this photo:

    Remember when she would hide her ass from the paps.
    I miss the good old days.

  23. Carol Vorderman Cleavage Crazy Eyes
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    Disclaimer: After sex, you will never get rid of me…NEVER!!

  24. David Alan Grier Orange Flip Flops
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    “Come back! I wanna sell you tickets to the Gun Show!”

  25. Jon Hamm, Jennifer Westfeldt Courage In Journalism Awards
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    The menu choices were chicken or fish, but it looks like she was more in the mood for Hamm.

  26. Gwyneth Paltrow El Hormiguero Cooking Segment
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    This is obviously a remake of the Japanese show “Cooking on Sybians”

  27. Joe Simpson Fedora Gay
    duh!
    Commented on this photo:

    I just don’t understand the thuggish looking necklace. Is he suppose to be a gay pimp?

  28. Gwyneth Paltrow El Hormiguero Cooking Segment
    BenDoverman
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG I just farted! And I’m a vegan! LOL!

  29. Ke$ha Legs Short Shorts Eye Make Up
    LilDeuceDeuce
    Commented on this photo:

    When my daughter was born, my wife and I decided to look up what song was #1 on the charts the day she was born. I was filled with sadness and fury to learn that the #1 song was “Tik Tok” by Ke$ha.

  30. Jennie Garth Cleavage Legs
    LilDeuceDeuce
    Commented on this photo:

    Party on, Garth.

  31. Jon Hamm, Jennifer Westfeldt Courage In Journalism Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Y’all see blowjob/handjob, I see her eyes saying “15 years, bitches. 15 YEARS. Come on. Try for him. I dare you. See how you like living without ears.”

  32. Jennifer Lopez Butt Glittery Bodysuit
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    “Brother check out the size of her ring” – “I am, I am”

  33. Ke$ha Legs Short Shorts Eye Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    You know you aren’t doing well when your security dude has to be your escort and you can’t even afford to buy him a suit that fits. Also, you know you aren’t doing well when your name is, “Kesha” or “Ke dollar-sign ha” or what-ever-the-fuck this future center squares name is.

  34. Rosanna Arquette Old Tired Wrinkles The Moms Afternoon Tea Conversation About How To Stop Human Trafficking
    Commented on this photo:

    Rosanna’s Publicist the next day; “Yes, it’s a crappy photo, but on the plus side, you were never good looking”.

  35. Jon Hamm, Jennifer Westfeldt Courage In Journalism Awards
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks very pleased for some reason.

  36. Jennifer Lopez Butt Glittery Bodysuit
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    That dude in the back must be really desperate for a job.

  37. Monica Cruz Sister Of Penelope Cruz Cleavage Skyfall Premiere
    Allison Wunderlan
    Commented on this photo:

    Penelope before Pro-Active.

  38. Jon Hamm, Jennifer Westfeldt Courage In Journalism Awards
    FastFoodLocal151
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, I bet she guards his package like Gollum and the ring.

  39. Natalie Anderson Cleavage Side Boob Pride Of Britain Awards
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Dinklage strikes again!!

  40. Tobey Maguire Kerry Washington The Details Premiere
    Viewer
    Commented on this photo:

    Stewie from Family Guy personified

  41. Gwyneth Paltrow El Hormiguero Cooking Segment
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s certain one of them just mispronounced “chilaquiles”.

  42. Ke$ha Legs Short Shorts Eye Make Up
    Audrey Jo
    Commented on this photo:

    Oil on the side, this outfit works for her. She’s got great legs.

  43. Emmanuelle Chriqui Cleavage Legs Short Shorts
    dON Q
    Commented on this photo:

    Super hot as always but I couldn’t get over that ugly brown stain on her shirt. Most people have the sense to clean up after they make a mess.

  44. NattyIce

    Wow. And here I thought it would’ve been her knees to be the first to go.

  45. Jon Hamm, Jennifer Westfeldt Courage In Journalism Awards
    NattyIce
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, and here I thought it would have been her knees to be the first to go.

  46. Jennifer Lopez Butt Glittery Bodysuit
    I'll get my coat
    Commented on this photo:

    Google rotterdam casserole. Nuff said.

  47. Jennifer Lopez Butt Glittery Bodysuit
    Commented on this photo:

    “TICKLE ME FUPA AHORA!!!”

  48. Jon Hamm, Jennifer Westfeldt Courage In Journalism Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor Jennifer Westfeldt looks so timid, so shy…
    “Jennifer, you are an attractive young woman. Don’t let people see you cowering like that…for the love of God, get some self-esteem, you stupid cunt!”

  49. Jennifer Lopez Butt Glittery Bodysuit
    Commented on this photo:

    I saw J-Lo on “Katie” the other day. I really like her, and she looked gorgeous.

  50. Gwyneth Paltrow El Hormiguero Cooking Segment
    Commented on this photo:

    That dude — over on the right — certainly looks impressed, especially after Gwyneth revealed her proficiency in boiling water.

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