The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 10.30.12

October 30th, 2012 // 452 Comments

[Ed. Note: Short day today while we slowly rebuild the pieces of our lives i.e. return all these six packs to an acceptable drinking temperature. GODDAMN YOU, SANDY! WHERE’S YOUR SOUL?! Back tomorrow with a hopefully more robust line-up of famous people doing stupid and/or sexy shit. – SW]

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which I fortunately didn’t have to compile from a rescue raft. Today’s gallery is a little light and leaned heavily on Britain’s Pride Awards, which apparently require crazy eyes and/or mostly exposed breasts to qualify for, so well done, old chaps. We’ve also got self-styled honorary Brit, Gwyneth Paltrow responding to the suggestion that they donate this food to the homeless, as well as Rosanna Arquette or a midnight shift Waffle House waitress (There’s really no way to tell the difference anymore.), and finally, two nice young gentleman helping this old lady who fell and couldn’t get up.

Today’s Final Five is not JWoww. Make that mistake and get cut, bitch,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. David Alan Grier Orange Flip Flops
    Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    I loved his cameos in the “Hangover” movies. But what happened to his charming face tat?

  2. Gwyneth Paltrow El Hormiguero Cooking Segment
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    The guy on the right must be down wind.

  3. Maria Shriver Courage In Journalism Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Writer: “Okay, let me pitch you another one… it’s like Weekend at Bernies, only they get the corpse to talk”

    Producer: “I don’t know… that been done to death, no pun intended amiright?!! LOL…”

    Writer: “It stars wife of a governor. He’s been banging living chicks, but he gets caught and people think he’s cheating on his wife. Maybe they even get divorced and she goes on the speech circuit”

    Producer: “Let’s get some storyboards”

  4. Rosanna Arquette Old Tired Wrinkles The Moms Afternoon Tea Conversation About How To Stop Human Trafficking
    Felix Navidad
    Commented on this photo:

    All I wanna do when I wake up in the mornin’ is run like hell away from you, Rosanna!!!!

  5. Rosanna Arquette Old Tired Wrinkles The Moms Afternoon Tea Conversation About How To Stop Human Trafficking
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s the Before Meth shot?

  6. Monica Cruz Sister Of Penelope Cruz Cleavage Skyfall Premiere
    Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    Sister, indeed. Somehow, Scientology is to blame for this.

  7. Joe Simpson Fedora Gay
    Commented on this photo:

    Gary Busey’s gay brother.

  8. Carol Vorderman Cleavage Crazy Eyes
    Commented on this photo:

    “Doctor, are you just going to leave her face like that?”

    “Nurse, do I look like a miracle worker? I fixed the tits, but there’s only so many times you can cut and splice the facial muscles.

  9. Laura Whitmore Cleavage Nipples Pride Of Britain Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    That isn’t rain on her dress.

  10. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Skirt Kourtney Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a catASStrophe.

  11. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Skirt Kourtney Kardashian
    InkyBlack
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t try to understand ‘em
    Just rope, throw, and brand ‘em
    Soon we’ll be living high and wide.

  12. Jon Hamm, Jennifer Westfeldt Courage In Journalism Awards
    BlackanuUSAonTwitter
    Commented on this photo:

    “137,138,139,140…”

    “Almost there…. Keep going hunny….”

  13. Laurence Fishburne Morpheus Clothes Obama Campaign Office
    Throb the Wonder Mule
    Commented on this photo:

    Jeez, isn’t his daughter’s porn embarassing enuf?
    Now trying to help the socialist Obama’s campaign too??

  14. Rosanna Arquette Old Tired Wrinkles The Moms Afternoon Tea Conversation About How To Stop Human Trafficking
    Hetero
    Commented on this photo:

    My penis called. It wants the 80s back.

  15. Jon Hamm, Jennifer Westfeldt Courage In Journalism Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Her hands are busy under that table.

  16. Maria Shriver Courage In Journalism Awards
    napoupi
    Commented on this photo:

    The name reads ‘Shriver’, the face reads ‘shriveled’. :(

  17. Jennifer Lopez Butt Glittery Bodysuit
    Commented on this photo:

    Both of those dudes look like they barely want to touch her.

  18. Jon Hamm, Jennifer Westfeldt Courage In Journalism Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    “Waiter! We are going to need another knapkin!”

  19. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Skirt Kourtney Kardashian
    popwilleatitself
    Commented on this photo:

    Her ass is pentagonal.

  20. Jennifer Lopez Butt Glittery Bodysuit
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    “No! Your farts do not smell like roses!”

  21. Tobey Maguire Kerry Washington The Details Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    His spider sense is tingling. Mine would too around Kerry Washington.

  22. Gwyneth Paltrow El Hormiguero Cooking Segment
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh man, I just thought of a name for my next kid…’Yolk’! How awesome is that? Ahahahaha.”

  23. Monica Cruz Sister Of Penelope Cruz Cleavage Skyfall Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought this was Nina Dobrev from the thumbnail. Nothing to complain about here. She’s hot.

  24. Tobey Maguire Kerry Washington The Details Premiere
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s dating a Hawaiian postcard.

  25. Will Ferrell Wreck-It Ralph Premiere
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    All his sportsjackets are ruined.

  26. Will Ferrell Wreck-It Ralph Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. Once again I’d like to recommend our viewers watch something else. That having been said, let’s take a look at the scores.”

  27. Maria Shriver Courage In Journalism Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    There should be a podium blocking her legs at all times.

  28. Ke$ha Legs Short Shorts Eye Make Up
    Mary Feeney
    Commented on this photo:

    If intelligent extraterrestrial life forms exist that have the capacity to contact us, no one should wonder why it hasn’t. For why would any intelligent life form anywhere in the universe want to make contact with a planet where a thing like “Ke$ha” is considered remotely significant and important?

  29. Maria Shriver Courage In Journalism Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s wearing her special anti-booger glasses.

  30. Rosanna Arquette Old Tired Wrinkles The Moms Afternoon Tea Conversation About How To Stop Human Trafficking
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    The Moms Afternoon Tea Conversation About Jaundice

  31. Joe Simpson Fedora Gay
    Commented on this photo:

    Why are we making fun of this poor burn victim? For shame!

  32. Carol Vorderman Cleavage Crazy Eyes
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    The Daily Mirror Pride of Britain Awards? If the entire event isn’t dedicated to Kelly Brook, heads will roll.

  33. Jennifer Lopez Butt Glittery Bodysuit
    swalton
    Commented on this photo:

    Despite his race and effort he couldn’t bridge what is known as the John Hamm zone

  34. Nicki Minaj CleavageMAC Viva Glam Nicki Lipglass Launch
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘the launch of her new MAC Viva Glam Nicki Lipgloss’…because so many people want to look like her?

  35. Tobey Maguire Kerry Washington The Details Premiere
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    Tobey Maguire: Worst poker player ever.

  36. Rosanna Arquette Old Tired Wrinkles The Moms Afternoon Tea Conversation About How To Stop Human Trafficking
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, just wow.

  37. David Alan Grier Orange Flip Flops
    Commented on this photo:

    I love this guy. One of the best sketch comedy actors ever.

  38. Rosanna Arquette Old Tired Wrinkles The Moms Afternoon Tea Conversation About How To Stop Human Trafficking
    Techman
    Commented on this photo:

    If all women looked like that, no one would want to traffic them.

  39. Carol Vorderman Cleavage Crazy Eyes
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope to the god that doesn’t exist that her O face doesn’t look like that.

  40. Alessandra Ambrosio Legs Miniskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Very nice.

  41. Maria Shriver Courage In Journalism Awards
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like Kate Middleton with “bitter beer face”.

  42. Nicki Minaj CleavageMAC Viva Glam Nicki Lipglass Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    I love those tits.

  43. Laura Whitmore Cleavage Nipples Pride Of Britain Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s beautiful.

  44. Jennie Garth Cleavage Legs
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    So they took the material for her boobs out of her legs?

  45. Joe Simpson Fedora Gay
    Jentilly
    Commented on this photo:

    Pimp daddy Joe

  46. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Skirt Kourtney Kardashian
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    If they’d stood on the beach at Atlantic City, they’d have saved the place.

  47. Rosanna Arquette Old Tired Wrinkles The Moms Afternoon Tea Conversation About How To Stop Human Trafficking
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    You have to admit that Tom Petty has had some pretty damn good songs over the years.

  48. Emmanuelle Chriqui Cleavage Legs Short Shorts
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Panama! Dun dun Dun dun dun dun duh. Panama!

  49. Jennie Garth Cleavage Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Still so fucking sexy.

  50. Natalie Anderson Cleavage Side Boob Pride Of Britain Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Those are some nice tits. Never before have I envied the rain in London.

    • They sure don’t look like flapjack boobs to me. They look like nice, large, naturals to me! And a great meal to boot!
      I’m vitobonespur and I approved this message!

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