[Ed. Note: Short day today while we slowly rebuild the pieces of our lives i.e. return all these six packs to an acceptable drinking temperature. GODDAMN YOU, SANDY! WHERE'S YOUR SOUL?! Back tomorrow with a hopefully more robust line-up of famous people doing stupid and/or sexy shit. - SW]
Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which I fortunately didn’t have to compile from a rescue raft. Today’s gallery is a little light and leaned heavily on Britain’s Pride Awards, which apparently require crazy eyes and/or mostly exposed breasts to qualify for, so well done, old chaps. We’ve also got self-styled honorary Brit, Gwyneth Paltrow responding to the suggestion that they donate this food to the homeless, as well as Rosanna Arquette or a midnight shift Waffle House waitress (There’s really no way to tell the difference anymore.), and finally, two nice young gentleman helping this old lady who fell and couldn’t get up.
Today’s Final Five is not JWoww. Make that mistake and get cut, bitch,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Ambrosio—nectar of the gods.
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/30/rsz_52306-tricko-tobey-maguire-funny-face-300_300.jpg[/img]
awesome.
Exactly what came to my mind when seeing this.
I think I’ve seen this.
She’s a replicant, right?
She’s the basic greasy model.
I believe it’s the Crisco-6 model.
A little respect here please. It’s gotta be rough to discover your daughter has terrible ass acne by seeing it in her porno.
It was the only negative ting about that porno. Otherwise completely solid porno movie. Very fappable.
*thing
I disagree, I found it shallow and pedantic.
Lol!
It’s a metaphor for European conquest of the Native Americans.
Yeah, but she was naked…right?
yes, but it’s the kind of naked where you’re putting in the dvd thinking “oh yeah, this is gonna be good” and then it starts and then you think “well, that’s just a shame”
Sweet. I’m looking forward to Wreck-It Ralph.
I’d like to dedicate this award to my children and in their honor shove it up my husband’s ass.
Dude in front with the super wide-angle lens is ready for her to walk past.
“Insert…penis…here.”
Wow, Steven Tyler is looking good this week.
Word to the wise: dress comfortably when you go out looking for your career.
Well, you know what they say…dress for the job you want.
I wonder how long it took for them to explain to her that all the people running around speaking Spanish weren’t just more of her servants and yes, she would have to interact with them, just like they were real people.
It’s like camouflage for fucktards.™
How hard is it to just listen, you guys? I said, very clearly, DON’T open the Ark. Geez.
Yes, confirmed: clean and shave….
Shouldn’t he be talking to me about diabeetus?
The face that ruined a thousand days. blech.
i hear black is supposed to be slimming
ill fitting suit. ill making cow.
Nicki Minaj finally gets her makeup line. Now you, too, can look like that parakeet you’ve always wanted.
“Oh, I simply must have one of those new Ke$ha Baby G watches”, said absolutely no one.
Thumbs Up!
Look kids I know it’s just a coincidence that your dog just had 101 puppies, but to be on the safe side, RUN!
Yay for sideboob! Boo for flapjack boobs!
Conundrum exemplified.
lip sync, her ass!
She’s a 2-1 favorite for next year’s Belmont.
And, by strange coincidence, next year’s death pool as well.
Miami’s interpretation of Pamplona’s bull run – “The Waddling of the Cows.”
jesus is there not 2 mirrors in her stall? What’s with the lumpy(forget the huge) ass? GET SOME SPANX fatass.
Hey I remember that guy! My great grandpa used to watch him.
She’s clearly in pain from serving her own food.
cool purse.
Oops. I might be gay.
“Yes we can… motorboat them tittays.”
A cellphone in your pocket will not turn you into John Hamm
awww, what a cute little hat. fabbbulousssss.
I wonder who sprayed their load over her chest, you can still see the residue.
Yeah, it looks like gnat splats. So not Jon Hamm.
She’s just a sloppy eater.
Good thing that zipper is made of Rearden Steel! Get it?!? Because it’s super-strong, and it’s her super-rear! No? Fuck you, Ayn Rand; 1200 pages for nothing.
Is that David Duchovny in the background?
So who convinced her to say her name backwards this time?
I love a woman with a golden tan, chalk-white face, and the teeth of a thoroughbred.
Then have I got a girl for you!
So JLo, your motivation in this scene is while Jack’s Load fucks you in the ass and Black Hammer sticks a cock in your face you’re still not sure if you’re in love with the gardener next door. ACTION!
Is it cannibalism if you wear your nephew once removed as footwear?
Another MILF fallen into the 50 Shades of Grey trap.
“AHAAAHAHAHAAA! This peasant work is actually kinda fun!!”
While everyone else is having Cordon Bleu, she’s enjoying the sausage.
The secret is to jump in feet first, without bending the knees.
Why would anyone want to bomb a pound shop?
“That’s a great Biiig Assssss”
Just noticing that, are ya?
“The blue pill will cause you to wake up in bed and believe whatever you want to believe. If you take the red pill, you will stay in Wonderland. If you take the bacon pill, you will stay in size 62 pants.”
I thought her husband was the only one that could beat her eggs.
He’s a BB gun in a Barrett Light 50 world
“Teehee! I’m taller!”
Jon Hamm doesn’t get handjobs. He gets handsjobs.