The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 10.30.12

October 30th, 2012 // 452 Comments

[Ed. Note: Short day today while we slowly rebuild the pieces of our lives i.e. return all these six packs to an acceptable drinking temperature. GODDAMN YOU, SANDY! WHERE’S YOUR SOUL?! Back tomorrow with a hopefully more robust line-up of famous people doing stupid and/or sexy shit. – SW]

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which I fortunately didn’t have to compile from a rescue raft. Today’s gallery is a little light and leaned heavily on Britain’s Pride Awards, which apparently require crazy eyes and/or mostly exposed breasts to qualify for, so well done, old chaps. We’ve also got self-styled honorary Brit, Gwyneth Paltrow responding to the suggestion that they donate this food to the homeless, as well as Rosanna Arquette or a midnight shift Waffle House waitress (There’s really no way to tell the difference anymore.), and finally, two nice young gentleman helping this old lady who fell and couldn’t get up.

Today’s Final Five is not JWoww. Make that mistake and get cut, bitch,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Jennifer Lopez Butt Glittery Bodysuit
    Fishballs
    Commented on this photo:

    Puerto Ricans even make going to the proctologist look like fun.

  2. Tobey Maguire Kerry Washington The Details Premiere
    Tiger
    Commented on this photo:

    The Thing’s gonna be pissed when he hears Spider-man’s been puttin’ the moves on his girl!

  3. Jennifer Lopez Butt Glittery Bodysuit
    CptCreep
    Commented on this photo:

    In other news, a Bubble-forming super-massive black hole was found today.

    No, seriously: http://www.thehindubusinessline.com/news/science/bubbleforming-supermassive-black-hole-found/article4046849.ece

  4. Maria Shriver Courage In Journalism Awards
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Has been living in fear ever since Arnold told her he’d be back

  5. Tobey Maguire Kerry Washington The Details Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Toby knows he’s not going back.

  6. Joe Simpson Fedora Gay
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    You know how they say all girls marry their fathers? Ashlee Simpson, meet Pete Wentz.

  7. Alessandra Ambrosio Legs Miniskirt
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Third leg? Meet hand.

  8. Gwyneth Paltrow El Hormiguero Cooking Segment
    Ladypants
    Commented on this photo:

    “So it turns out that when I thought I was asking whether this lacinato kale was curated by local artisans making a living wage, he thought I said SWISS CH — hold on, I can barely breathe — SWISS CHARD!”

  9. Ke$ha Legs Short Shorts Eye Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    Grea$y

  10. Natalie Anderson Cleavage Side Boob Pride Of Britain Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    TITS!!!!!…who?

  11. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Skirt Kourtney Kardashian
    saskatchatoon
    Commented on this photo:

    Blub and Blubber.

  12. Gwyneth Paltrow El Hormiguero Cooking Segment
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    You actually believe I do this at home?! I haven’t laughed this hard since I received my complementary cleaning kit made from the tears of small children for my bald eagle hat and I got to fire my maid because she couldn’t open the box encoded to my fingerprint.

  13. Will Ferrell Wreck-It Ralph Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh, Will, it’s a cartoon. You didn’t actually have to dress like a Mario Brother!

  14. Tobey Maguire Kerry Washington The Details Premiere
    Jon Hex
    Commented on this photo:

    They invite him onto the team and he steals the Thing’s girl!

  15. Jennifer Lopez Butt Glittery Bodysuit
    Commented on this photo:

    Ordinarily I would be impressed that she re-uses clothes, but for god’s sake GET A NEW COSTUME!!

  16. Carol Vorderman Cleavage Crazy Eyes
    zomgbie
    Commented on this photo:

    k let me guess- u held the can of spray tan in ur right hand.

  17. Natalie Anderson Cleavage Side Boob Pride Of Britain Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Pride of Britain… “I gots all me teefs fixed up, I did!”

  18. Ke$ha Legs Short Shorts Eye Make Up
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    “The fuck is holding onto my arm?” thought fat hispanic Orlando Bloom

  19. Ke$ha Legs Short Shorts Eye Make Up
    tom
    Commented on this photo:

    Gross!!!

  20. Maria Shriver Courage In Journalism Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that she’s founded the “I Won’t Maid F#$%” foundation, she simply needs to get Arnold to join.

  21. Emmanuelle Chriqui Cleavage Legs Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    She has my wiener’s vote.

  22. Joe Simpson Fedora Gay
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    My first thought was: Charlie Sheen looks like shit.

  23. Ke$ha Legs Short Shorts Eye Make Up
    neo
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll stick my peen in her ad lick her ass crack when she is done shitting. I would.

  24. Carol Vorderman Cleavage Crazy Eyes
    cuddles
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus, she’s eating my soul!!! Someone, ANYONE! Make her stop!

  25. Nicki Minaj CleavageMAC Viva Glam Nicki Lipglass Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    For Halloween, I assume she just stays indoors.

  26. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Skirt Kourtney Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah…a group Halloween costume…”Continental Drift!”

  27. Jennie Garth Cleavage Legs
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    The previous night at Jennie Garth’s publicist’s office:
    Publicist: “You see, Amanda Bynes did it and got back in the news! Do that!”
    JG: “But didn’t her publicist drop her then?”
    Publicst: *whistles innocently*

  28. Emmanuelle Chriqui Cleavage Legs Short Shorts
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a thong hanging out of her back pocket?

  29. Carol Vorderman Cleavage Crazy Eyes
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    She may be ready for her close-up but we are not.

  30. Emmanuelle Chriqui Cleavage Legs Short Shorts
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    She could havbe picked a better lesbian fuckbuddy

  31. Emmanuelle Chriqui Cleavage Legs Short Shorts
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Right now someone at Vivid is furiously typing away at “Indiana Jane and the Slutty Cowgirl”

  32. Emmanuelle Chriqui Cleavage Legs Short Shorts
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    It is to be noted that Emmanuelle Shreaky has a built-in Halloween name.

  33. Jon Hamm, Jennifer Westfeldt Courage In Journalism Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    An American Tail 3: Fievel Goes Hamm

  34. Ke$ha Legs Short Shorts Eye Make Up
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Her escort is reconsidering his fee schedule and thinking about requesting pictures before accepting a job.

  35. Will Ferrell Wreck-It Ralph Premiere
    Janice
    Commented on this photo:

    So “John Cleese” is the hot costume this Halloween? Good to know.

  36. Emmanuelle Chriqui Cleavage Legs Short Shorts
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Fast: those implants need to be in more movies instead of stuck doing voice work in Disney Channel shows

  37. Jennifer Lopez Butt Glittery Bodysuit
    Commented on this photo:

    May I present to you: Miss Steamy Nicks!

  38. Laurence Fishburne Morpheus Clothes Obama Campaign Office
    Commented on this photo:

    Note to self: don’t take the blue pill.

  39. Nicki Minaj CleavageMAC Viva Glam Nicki Lipglass Launch
    You
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s a stupid hoe?

  40. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Skirt Kourtney Kardashian
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Fish, you no longer need to put the name next to the picture. We know who it is just from the bulk.

  41. Gwyneth Paltrow El Hormiguero Cooking Segment
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere in the world a commoner just died.

  42. Tobey Maguire Kerry Washington The Details Premiere
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Must be nice to find that special someone who hasn’t seen Spider-Man 3.

  43. Gwyneth Paltrow El Hormiguero Cooking Segment
    Commented on this photo:

    “I haven’t laughed this hard since Apple mistook Armand de Brignac for Armand de Périgord!”

  44. Rosanna Arquette Old Tired Wrinkles The Moms Afternoon Tea Conversation About How To Stop Human Trafficking
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    “The Moms Afternoon Tea Conversation About How To Stop Human Trafficking in West Hollywood”
    Really?
    This thing needs a prettier mom or a catchier name.
    Also, what part is happening in West Hollywood—the tea or the trafficking (or both)?

  45. Emmanuelle Chriqui Cleavage Legs Short Shorts
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    So this was my first time in forever clicking through TCWM without a pop-up blocker… This site is goddamn near unusable without one. I know it’s pretty much unusable from the phone, but shit. FFS, fish.

    • Dereck Nation

      No shit, man. It’s unbearable… I am extremely close to being to the point of never coming to this site again.

  46. Jon Hamm, Jennifer Westfeldt Courage In Journalism Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Just swallow, already.

  47. Jennifer Lopez Butt Glittery Bodysuit
    Commented on this photo:

    This is one spitroast I don’t want to see happen.

  48. Tobey Maguire Kerry Washington The Details Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    1. Cut three holes out of table cloth.
    2. Go to movie premiere.
    3. ???
    4. Profit.

  49. David Alan Grier Orange Flip Flops
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    The orange flip flops negate any street cred the shirt might have bestowed.

  50. Monica Cruz Sister Of Penelope Cruz Cleavage Skyfall Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    At least Penelope has a good corpse double.

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