The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 1.8.13

January 8th, 2013 // 281 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which draws heavily from last night’s premiere of Gangster Squad, because a.) Sean Penn, who is apparently an old leather purse now, was there, and b.) Nick Nolte showed up shitfaced in a silk bathrobe, so how does the entire paparazzi not show up for that? We also scraped up Pamela Anderson taking the Lindsay Lohan’s Blowin’ For Blow Tour™ of London and this JWoww pic that will inspire a new video claiming yet another conspiracy — to photoshop her face this time — making it seem like it’s full of Play-doh and butt fat.

Today’s Final Five, I just, I don’t…I blame Hammered-Drunk, Kimono-Wearing Nolte again,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Nick Nolte Red Face Kimono Ganster Squad Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m not masturbating. It’s just really hard to find my keys.”

  2. JWoww Swollen Face Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    She told her plastic surgeon “I wanna look like Tracey Ullman with huge cans!” and he ran with it.

  3. Jeremy Piven With Embarassed Woman In Limo
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sir, you and your drag queen can’t park here.”
    “My what?”

  4. Tracy DiMarco Cleavage Minidress Out Magazine Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    “I have a package for Mr.Gullible.”

  5. Nick Nolte Red Face Kimono Ganster Squad Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Get someone to go check the water heater in there. I only got about half way thru my shower before it turned cold.”

  6. JWoww Swollen Face Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    Very cute, especially for an imbecile.

  7. Jeremy Piven With Embarassed Woman In Limo
    Commented on this photo:

    Look who got a new hair-hat for Hanukkah!

  8. Tracy DiMarco Cleavage Minidress Out Magazine Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Way, way too much. Of everything!

  9. Quentin Tarantino Django Unchained Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mr Tarantino. Thank you for endorsing our coffee shop on your hat and making Spike Lee relevant by giving him something to be butt-hurt about.”
    “Shit homie! It’s what I do!”

  10. Christoph Waltz Django Unchained Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ll take Kim Kardashian Oscar Roles for $400, Alex…”

  11. Serena Williams Nike Training Club Workout
    Commented on this photo:

    “This next exercise is called the “Kim K and Ray J (grabs Microphone)… I’m Ray J”!”

  12. Goldie Hawn Cameltoe Yoga Pants Fur Hood
    Commented on this photo:

    “I usually don’t drink coffee while I jog because chunks of my donuts fall into my cup…”

  13. Billy Zane Turtleneck Blazer Gangster Squad Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Do you people think a gentleman such as myself would answer questions of that nature about Kelly Brook? I am offended…That pussy was SUPERB!”

  14. Wilmer Valderrama Shirtless Bathing Suit Talking On Cell Phone
    Commented on this photo:

    “Play a man in a commercial with erectile dysfunction?… I’LL DO IT!!”

  15. Josh Brolin Yellow Teeth Sean Penn Dark Tan Gangster Squad Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    *laugh*.. and ya know I was working with that can of Orange Tan, and I’ll be damned if that sunofabitch didn’t get away from me.

  16. Wilmer Valderrama Shirtless Bathing Suit Talking On Cell Phone
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Ashton. Why do you and Mila keep changing your numbers?”

  17. Mireille Enos Butt Tight Dress Gangster Squad Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I gotta say, the crew of her television program, The Killing, do a helluva job making her homely looking.

  18. Kerry Katona Cleavage Mohawk
    Commented on this photo:

    “You want motor-boating lessons from me? I don’t own a boat silly!”

  19. Serena Williams Nike Training Club Workout
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ladies, though it’s only symbolic, when you kick these balls, kick ‘em as HARD as you can!”

  20. Kerry Katona Cleavage Mohawk
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ll bet these are the best implants you’ve seen all day…”

  21. Pamela Anderson Drunk Ripped Pantyhose
    Commented on this photo:

    Sneaking through the alley with Sally.. and up pops the wife.

  22. Jeremy Piven With Embarassed Woman In Limo
    Commented on this photo:

    Pippa!?

  23. Goldie Hawn Cameltoe Yoga Pants Fur Hood
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it really that fucking cold in LA right now?

  24. Kerry Katona Cleavage Mohawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Just wanna crawl up in there and take a nap.

  25. Jeremy Piven With Embarassed Woman In Limo
    Whyask
    Commented on this photo:

    Not even his prostitutes want to be seen with him.

  26. Christoph Waltz Django Unchained Premiere
    martian
    Commented on this photo:

    shit, he scares me even in a pic like this!

  27. JWoww Swollen Face Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    So sad. This girl used to be good looking. Now, she’s putting on weight, getting bizzaro face surgery and… and… gee-ZUS! is that the start of a meth face on those cheeks?Thank God she got that education to back herself up when her looks went south. Wait a minute…

  28. Tracy DiMarco Cleavage Minidress Out Magazine Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously… WHAT is J-Woww doing to her face?! (And yes, this one actually is on the correct photo).

  29. Goldie Hawn Cameltoe Yoga Pants Fur Hood
    Commented on this photo:

    “And then her vagine hang down, like wizard’s sleeve”.

  30. Billy Zane Turtleneck Blazer Gangster Squad Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    And that dear children, is how Billy Zane went from male model to old queen in only 20 pounds.

  31. Quentin Tarantino Django Unchained Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “What the?! Quentin Tarintino?! I said I wanted Hollywood ugly! Not real-life ugly!”

  32. Goldie Hawn Cameltoe Yoga Pants Fur Hood
    r
    Commented on this photo:

    that’s no camel toe, that’s a horse’s mouth

  33. Quentin Tarantino Django Unchained Premiere
    Sal
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like the British guy “Shelley Boothbishop” from Family Guy

  34. Serena Williams Nike Training Club Workout
    tidbit
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve been amazed at women shooting ping pong balls out, but DAMN this takes the cake!

  35. Goldie Hawn Cameltoe Yoga Pants Fur Hood
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d hang those meat curtains on my rod.

  36. Kerry Katona Cleavage Mohawk
    Rufus Ghost
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, I know exactly where my face should be.

  37. Josh Brolin Yellow Teeth Sean Penn Dark Tan Gangster Squad Premiere
    Falstaff
    Commented on this photo:

    Is his next role “Cigar Store Indian”?

  38. Kerry Katona Cleavage Mohawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Billy Idol finally went to Copenhagen and made the transition to being a woman. And the hair? I shall call it Rebel Yellow.

  39. Josh Brolin Yellow Teeth Sean Penn Dark Tan Gangster Squad Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, at least we know Madonna renounced Satan…

  40. Nick Nolte Red Face Kimono Ganster Squad Premiere
    journalschism
    Commented on this photo:

    …And Burl Ives as Dick Tracy

  41. Jeremy Piven With Embarassed Woman In Limo
    Mr. Fu
    Commented on this photo:

    Mr. FU sez . . .

    Time to give him the world champion belt for Mr. Carpet of the Universe.

    Past Winners:

    William Shatner
    Burt Reyolds
    Liberace
    Marv Albert
    Rosie O’Donnell

  42. Snooki Cleavage Extra
    Martina
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is she famous? Televised STDs?

  43. Mireille Enos Butt Tight Dress Gangster Squad Premiere
    Martina
    Commented on this photo:

    nice curves, sexy ass

  44. Pamela Anderson Drunk Ripped Pantyhose
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Fresh

  45. Wilmer Valderrama Shirtless Bathing Suit Talking On Cell Phone
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    This… Ladies and Gentlemen… Is a Mexican Hairless.

  46. Dave Navarro Naked Bloody Peta Ad
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy is almost as unlikeable as Jared Leto or Justin Beiber.

Leave A Comment