The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 1.8.13

January 8th, 2013 // 281 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which draws heavily from last night’s premiere of Gangster Squad, because a.) Sean Penn, who is apparently an old leather purse now, was there, and b.) Nick Nolte showed up shitfaced in a silk bathrobe, so how does the entire paparazzi not show up for that? We also scraped up Pamela Anderson taking the Lindsay Lohan’s Blowin’ For Blow Tour™ of London and this JWoww pic that will inspire a new video claiming yet another conspiracy — to photoshop her face this time — making it seem like it’s full of Play-doh and butt fat.

Today’s Final Five, I just, I don’t…I blame Hammered-Drunk, Kimono-Wearing Nolte again,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Emma Stone Gangster Squad Premiere
    Nelson Mandela
    Commented on this photo:

    Way hotter as a ginger.

  2. Serena Williams Nike Training Club Workout
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m imagining the .gif of this.

  3. Goldie Hawn Cameltoe Yoga Pants Fur Hood
    Commented on this photo:

    Try leaving something for the imagination next time, Goldie. Eesh….

  4. Josh Brolin Yellow Teeth Sean Penn Dark Tan Gangster Squad Premiere
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “You’ll remember earlier in the program, we put a light honey glaze over Sean Penn and put him in the oven. That was 45 minutes ago, let’s see how our Penn Roast turned ou- HOLY SHIT! Somebody throw this out, I’m make a pie!” – Martha Stewart

  5. Snooki Cleavage Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    “Let me tell you about the time I thought these would start producing beer…
    You ever try to do a Jaeger bomb with milk?”

  6. Josh Brolin Yellow Teeth Sean Penn Dark Tan Gangster Squad Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey maybe he has been visiting Haiti… Most likely St Barts though…

  7. Emma Stone Gangster Squad Premiere
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Emma Stone, knows you’re eying her candy necklace.

  8. JWoww Swollen Face Extra
    neen
    Commented on this photo:

    OOF.

  9. Vince Vaughn Sad Notre Dame Clothes BCS Championship Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Un-amused Vince is un-amused… And hungry…

  10. Nick Nolte Red Face Kimono Ganster Squad Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    You gotta love an actor that has reached the “I can jerk off in public and people will think it’s art” point…

  11. JWoww Swollen Face Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh, that’s not gonna age well.

  12. Jeremy Piven With Embarassed Woman In Limo
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, if that isn’t the “I swear I didn’t pay for this one” look, I don’t know what is…

  13. Christoph Waltz Django Unchained Premiere
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Bitch, please.”

  14. Josh Brolin Yellow Teeth Sean Penn Dark Tan Gangster Squad Premiere
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Freddy Krueger looks greasy in this photo.

  15. Tracy DiMarco Cleavage Minidress Out Magazine Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Such effortless grace.

  16. Billy Zane Turtleneck Blazer Gangster Squad Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Does he play Kojak in this?

  17. Tracy DiMarco Cleavage Minidress Out Magazine Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s that guy?

  18. Snooki Cleavage Extra
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    The teeth, hair, tan, and even the Italian heritage are fake, but these are real.

  19. Josh Brolin Yellow Teeth Sean Penn Dark Tan Gangster Squad Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    From the previews I’ve seen, ‘Gangster Squad’ looks like a steaming pile of shit – like they were trying to make something no one would want to watch. At least it has Sean Penn’s sex appeal going for it though.

  20. Goldie Hawn Cameltoe Yoga Pants Fur Hood
    Commented on this photo:

    The word undercarriage’s meaning has been forever changed…

  21. Jeremy Piven With Embarassed Woman In Limo
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Is there a smarmier douche?

  22. Quentin Tarantino Django Unchained Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Speaking of “Why so serious?”… lighten up, glasses-dude.

  23. Dave Navarro Naked Bloody Peta Ad
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Dave Navarro makes a strong point. We shouldn’t test potentially dangerous products on animals. We should, instead, test them on Dave Navarro.

  24. Serena Williams Nike Training Club Workout
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s some case of blue balls.

  25. Snooki Cleavage Extra
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The Snookster looks kinda good here.
    How strange.

  26. Pamela Anderson Drunk Ripped Pantyhose
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally straight men and the gay dudes she’s hanging out with have something in common… none of us want to fuck her.

  27. Kerry Katona Cleavage Mohawk
    Commented on this photo:

    I really wish that Skrillex would have kept his hairstyle to himself.

    Hey, look… boobs!

  28. Mireille Enos Butt Tight Dress Gangster Squad Premiere
    Fredical
    Commented on this photo:

    The Blue Fairy granted Pink-nocchio’s wish and turned her into a real girl.

  29. Nick Nolte Red Face Kimono Ganster Squad Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    And yet he still looks infinitely classier than the previous pic of Pam Anderson.

  30. Dave Navarro Naked Bloody Peta Ad
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Asked about the Navarro ad, a spokesman for PETA said, “Showing graphic images of animals being tortured wasn’t working, so we thought we could generate some buzz by torturing anyone who looks at this.”

  31. Nick Nolte Red Face Kimono Ganster Squad Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Dick Tracy got old…

  32. Kerry Katona Cleavage Mohawk
    Fredical
    Commented on this photo:

    The Blue Fairy granted Pink-nocchio’s wish and turned her into a real girl.

  33. Goldie Hawn Cameltoe Yoga Pants Fur Hood
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I gagged.

    I vomited.

    I gavomited.

  34. Jeremy Piven With Embarassed Woman In Limo
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a man, baby…

  35. Tracy DiMarco Cleavage Minidress Out Magazine Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a man, baby…

  36. Jeremy Piven With Embarassed Woman In Limo
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look! Someone wants to take our picture, honey! Smile . . . What are you doing? You’re acting like you don’t want to be seen with . . . Oh.”

  37. Nick Nolte Red Face Kimono Ganster Squad Premiere
    JennywithaY
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, Santa really starts dressing down after the holidays.

  38. Goldie Hawn Cameltoe Yoga Pants Fur Hood
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    *shakes cup*
    “Spare some camel toe?”
    *looks at crotch*
    “Never mind.”

  39. Tracy DiMarco Cleavage Minidress Out Magazine Shoot
    JennywithaY
    Commented on this photo:

    That poor gorilla!

  40. Goldie Hawn Cameltoe Yoga Pants Fur Hood
    JennywithaY
    Commented on this photo:

    Why are her labia sagging? Is that something that I have to worry about? Why has no one warned me?!

  41. Tracy DiMarco Cleavage Minidress Out Magazine Shoot
    broduh jenner
    Commented on this photo:

    please, put it back in.

  42. Josh Brolin Yellow Teeth Sean Penn Dark Tan Gangster Squad Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought butter face only applied to girls.

  43. Kerry Katona Cleavage Mohawk
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    You go right ahead and get a stupid Miley Cyrus hair cut, I’m still gonna stare at your tits.

  44. Goldie Hawn Cameltoe Yoga Pants Fur Hood
    Commented on this photo:

    Prolapsed uterus? Prolapsed anus? It’s a tossup.

  45. Vince Vaughn Sad Notre Dame Clothes BCS Championship Game
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve discovered how Vince Vaughn keeps working: his costume budget is zero dollars. He just shows up looking like this. Every. Single. Role.

  46. JWoww Swollen Face Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a weird Disney cartoon.

  47. Billy Zane Turtleneck Blazer Gangster Squad Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    This chubby bald fuck banged and then lost his goddamned mind and bounced Kelly Brook. He regrets it terribly now, but seriously, how can I make fun of someone who has touched greatness?

  48. Nick Nolte Red Face Kimono Ganster Squad Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Sleezy Gordon’s Fisherman sez, “Do you like fish sticks?”

  49. Pamela Anderson Drunk Ripped Pantyhose
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. Sidewalk.” *face-plants*

  50. Nick Nolte Red Face Kimono Ganster Squad Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    AND it’s filthy! *GUFFAW* high-fucking-larious!

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