Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which draws heavily from last night’s premiere of Gangster Squad, because a.) Sean Penn, who is apparently an old leather purse now, was there, and b.) Nick Nolte showed up shitfaced in a silk bathrobe, so how does the entire paparazzi not show up for that? We also scraped up Pamela Anderson taking the Lindsay Lohan’s Blowin’ For Blow Tour™ of London and this JWoww pic that will inspire a new video claiming yet another conspiracy — to photoshop her face this time — making it seem like it’s full of Play-doh and butt fat.
Today’s Final Five, I just, I don’t…I blame Hammered-Drunk, Kimono-Wearing Nolte again,
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Way hotter as a ginger.
Agreed, but still totally would.
I’m imagining the .gif of this.
Try leaving something for the imagination next time, Goldie. Eesh….
“You’ll remember earlier in the program, we put a light honey glaze over Sean Penn and put him in the oven. That was 45 minutes ago, let’s see how our Penn Roast turned ou- HOLY SHIT! Somebody throw this out, I’m make a pie!” – Martha Stewart
“Let me tell you about the time I thought these would start producing beer…
You ever try to do a Jaeger bomb with milk?”
Hey maybe he has been visiting Haiti… Most likely St Barts though…
Emma Stone, knows you’re eying her candy necklace.
I think that’s a QVC jobbie! I can picture her sitting up late watching infomercials and eating raw cookie dough. She’s perfect. :)
or, that might be the genuine ruby necklace I gifted her in return for her favors. yup, that’s the one.
OOF.
Un-amused Vince is un-amused… And hungry…
You gotta love an actor that has reached the “I can jerk off in public and people will think it’s art” point…
Uh, that’s not gonna age well.
What do you mean? She’s 47.
Man, if that isn’t the “I swear I didn’t pay for this one” look, I don’t know what is…
And by “this one,” I’m assuming you mean the wig.
“Bitch, please.”
“Nigger, please.”
Freddy Krueger looks greasy in this photo.
Such effortless grace.
Does he play Kojak in this?
Who’s that guy?
The teeth, hair, tan, and even the Italian heritage are fake, but these are real.
Yeah, REAL gross.
From the previews I’ve seen, ‘Gangster Squad’ looks like a steaming pile of shit – like they were trying to make something no one would want to watch. At least it has Sean Penn’s sex appeal going for it though.
The word undercarriage’s meaning has been forever changed…
Is there a smarmier douche?
Speaking of “Why so serious?”… lighten up, glasses-dude.
Dave Navarro makes a strong point. We shouldn’t test potentially dangerous products on animals. We should, instead, test them on Dave Navarro.
Looks like that started years ago.
That’s some case of blue balls.
The Snookster looks kinda good here.
How strange.
Finally straight men and the gay dudes she’s hanging out with have something in common… none of us want to fuck her.
I really wish that Skrillex would have kept his hairstyle to himself.
Hey, look… boobs!
The Blue Fairy granted Pink-nocchio’s wish and turned her into a real girl.
And yet he still looks infinitely classier than the previous pic of Pam Anderson.
Asked about the Navarro ad, a spokesman for PETA said, “Showing graphic images of animals being tortured wasn’t working, so we thought we could generate some buzz by torturing anyone who looks at this.”
Dick Tracy got old…
The Blue Fairy granted Pink-nocchio’s wish and turned her into a real girl.
I gagged.
I vomited.
I gavomited.
That’s a man, baby…
(Got posted to the wrong pic)
I find it appropriate.
That’s a man, baby…
“Look! Someone wants to take our picture, honey! Smile . . . What are you doing? You’re acting like you don’t want to be seen with . . . Oh.”
Wow, Santa really starts dressing down after the holidays.
*shakes cup*
“Spare some camel toe?”
*looks at crotch*
“Never mind.”
That poor gorilla!
Why are her labia sagging? Is that something that I have to worry about? Why has no one warned me?!
There aren’t enough “Thumb up” signs for this one. Seriously.
please, put it back in.
I thought butter face only applied to girls.
No, this is more a canola oil face.
You go right ahead and get a stupid Miley Cyrus hair cut, I’m still gonna stare at your tits.
Prolapsed uterus? Prolapsed anus? It’s a tossup.
I’ve discovered how Vince Vaughn keeps working: his costume budget is zero dollars. He just shows up looking like this. Every. Single. Role.
She looks like a weird Disney cartoon.
This chubby bald fuck banged and then lost his goddamned mind and bounced Kelly Brook. He regrets it terribly now, but seriously, how can I make fun of someone who has touched greatness?
Sleezy Gordon’s Fisherman sez, “Do you like fish sticks?”
“I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. Sidewalk.” *face-plants*
AND it’s filthy! *GUFFAW* high-fucking-larious!