The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 1.7.14

January 7th, 2014 // 399 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, where I’ll take great care not to write anything too offensive, because some of you out there may have personally experienced the tragedies in today’s gallery. Tragedies like paying for your favorite prostitute only to have this old lady show up instead, or being psychologically coerced into a hotel suite shower by Matthew McConaughey. We can all relate to that one. I’d usually say something like this black deputy would probably rather have an entire conversation with white people about The Wire than escort an entitled, rich actor from a five-star restaurant, but somebody out there probably liked Gangster Squad, so I don’t want to step on any toes.

The Superficial: Your Security Blanket Since 1973,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Jackie Chan Hong Kong Charity Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Mmmm. Asian chicks.

  2. Sharni Vinson Skinny Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d love to have sex with her, but since she appears to have AIDS, I think I’ll go back to banging the neighbor’s wife.

  3. Jennifer Nicole Lee Butt Bikini Holding Football
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    I have no idea who she is, but I like her.

  4. Ashley Benson Bra Cleavage Pointing Gun Fingers Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Victoria, Secret police! This is a bust!!

  5. Luke Wilson Scruffy Beard
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    I have a high hanging yellow penis too.

  6. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    This girl has a psychological deformity requiring her to constantly strip off her clothes and present herself for approval to the entire world.

    I very much approve of this.

  7. Kelli Garner Bikini Butt Grabbed By Boyfriend Johnny Galecki
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s nice but not now, Kelli!… Where was I?… Descartes’ Meditations on First Philosophy. *slaps ass* Did you know Descartes’ father was member of the Parlement of Brittany? *buries face in ass*

  8. Taylor Swift Legs Short Shorts Dance Studio
    Commented on this photo:

    She bringing out the big guns. Gotta hook another one. She’s got to get a new album out soon.

  9. Luke Wilson Scruffy Beard
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ll show you plagiarism, Shia. Does this beard and douche face look familiar? Boom! Owned!”

  10. Johnny Depp Moustache Mortdecai Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’M Ron Burgundy?”

  11. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a human egg timer.

  12. Cate Blanchett Bugeyed New York Film Critics Awards
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    How did the camera lens not crack?

  13. Kelli Garner Bikini Butt Grabbed By Boyfriend Johnny Galecki
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently, someone on that show is a heterosexual.

  14. Juan Pablo Galavis Cameron Diaz Duckface GMA
    stinkfinger
    Commented on this photo:

    Best she has looked in years.

  15. Kellan Lutz Leather Gloves The Legend Of Hercules Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know if this dude is gay, but he’s certainly trying to convince us that he is.

  16. Victoria Silvstedt Bikini Sinewy Leg Muscles
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice.

  17. Kourtney Kardashian Scott Disick Fur Shawl Designer Jeans
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice of Kim to make him a jacket out of the North’s plucked unibrow hairs. That family knows how to make fashion sentimental.

  18. Taylor Swift Legs Short Shorts Dance Studio
    Commented on this photo:

    Stems.

    That is all.

  19. Sylvester Stallone Robert De Niro Derpfaces Grudge Match Presentation Rome
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Stallone: I can actor too. See!…

  20. Matthew McConaughey Gisele Bundchen Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, her ping pong ball trick WAS pretty damned impressive.

  21. Lena Dunham Yellow Teeth Allison Williams Girls Season 3 Premiere
    Jen D
    Commented on this photo:

    Lena looks like someone I know named Mandy Rickard

  22. Alice Eve Cold Comes The Night Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    The night isn’t the only thing that cums when Alice Eve is involved.

  23. Sylvester Stallone Robert De Niro Derpfaces Grudge Match Presentation Rome
    Commented on this photo:

    How much cocaine can DeNiro possibly consume, to be doing so many shitty movies for so long? It’s got to be cocaine, the only other explanation is he’s been using Nicholas Cage as his investment adviser.

  24. Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini Surfboard Instagram
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    I need to learn how to surf!

  25. Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini Surfboard Instagram
    Krista
    Commented on this photo:

    wow, really fit and gorgeous

  26. Sean Penn Leaving Restaurant With Police Escort
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like all the victims who bought tickets to “The Falcon and the Snowman” are finally going to get justice.

  27. Jennifer Nicole Lee Butt Bikini Holding Football
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice everything. I so want to wreck this chick.

  28. Kellan Lutz Leather Gloves The Legend Of Hercules Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s with the gloves? is he working as a chauffeur, or is he giving prostate exams in the parking lot?

  29. Jackie Chan Hong Kong Charity Event
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    If Sarah Hyland had been born Chinese she’d be the girl on the right.

  30. Juan Pablo Galavis Cameron Diaz Duckface GMA
    PathosAvenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Horse face? Nope. Short face.

  31. Sylvester Stallone Robert De Niro Derpfaces Grudge Match Presentation Rome
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m wearing this hat, and yet I still look less retarded than you!

  32. Lena Dunham Yellow Teeth Allison Williams Girls Season 3 Premiere
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    And who will be the winner of the “Most Unflattering Dress” award?

    You BOTH will!!

  33. Kourtney Kardashian Scott Disick Fur Shawl Designer Jeans
    renotastic
    Commented on this photo:

    Diddy’s making clothes out of dogs again.

  34. Taylor Swift Legs Short Shorts Dance Studio
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    *fap fap fap* No, No, crazy, crazy… *fap… Fap… FAp… FAP* NO, C-R-A-Z-Y… *fap…*

  35. Kellan Lutz Leather Gloves The Legend Of Hercules Premiere
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he the star, or one of their limo drivers?

  36. Will.i.am Goofy Clothes Drumsticks
    renotastic
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yo! Where can I recharge these fuel rods for my weird-lookin’ car?!”

  37. Johnny Depp Moustache Mortdecai Set
    renotastic
    Commented on this photo:

    “Just put that dead crow in my trailer.”

  38. Jackie Chan Hong Kong Charity Event
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude, don’t tell CNN you’re at a charity event in Asia. They WILL yell at you!

  39. Taylor Swift Legs Short Shorts Dance Studio
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    The secret is that she’s crazy.

  40. Sharni Vinson Skinny Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s got the figure Tara Reid was going for.

  41. Matthew McConaughey Gisele Bundchen Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
    George P. Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me show a you trick I learned from Channing Tatum.

  42. Ashley Benson Bra Cleavage Pointing Gun Fingers Instagram
    steel murkin
    Commented on this photo:

    Would be alarming if it was Anna Benson.

  43. Cate Blanchett Bugeyed New York Film Critics Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Lady Galadriel. Such a beautiful woman. I can watch her in anything.

  44. Stephen Baldwin Duckface Blue Steel The Legend Of Hercules Premiere
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    That face would haunt my nightmares, but no way can it compete with that time Photo Boy posted a nude pic of Lena Dunham.

  45. Kelli Garner Bikini Butt Grabbed By Boyfriend Johnny Galecki
    George P. Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me show you my Big Bang Theory.

  46. Johnny Depp Moustache Mortdecai Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Are we just gonna pretend Walter White’s not in the background?

  47. Jude Law Pissed Off Look On Face Noel Coward Theatre
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    So nice of him to bring a gift bag to his next victim.

  48. Lena Dunham Yellow Teeth Allison Williams Girls Season 3 Premiere
    George P. Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Hee Haw!

  49. Rob Ford Yellow Teeth Press Conference
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Crack, crack, crack, crack….pose for picture….Crack, crack, crack, crack…

  50. Victoria Silvstedt Bikini Sinewy Leg Muscles
    George P. Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Like Pamela Anderson before her, she will never decompose.

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