The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 1.3.12

January 3rd, 2012 // 598 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, the first Crap of the year, so naturally we stocked it with such carnal treasures as Mariah Carey‘s camel toe, Rihanna‘s nipple ring, man-titties and more man-titties, Elle Macpherson and last but not least, Jonah Hill‘s wanton lust for old lady vagina. (Legend has it, it keeps him from turning fat again.)

Did I mention Aida Yespica?

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Kim Kardashian Butt Tight Dress
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    You would think the black guy would be all excited about Kim but the reality he is more excited about the chick in the blue. While Kim’s ass is fat, that chick’s everything is fat which is more his style. And to top it off her dress matches his tie. A match made in heaven.

  2. Britney Spears Crazy Smile
    LadyLynna
    Commented on this photo:

    Well yeah I’ll blow y’all for a McDouble, did ya really have to ask?!

  3. George Clooney Alex Rodriguez Binoculars
    GuyLeDouche
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’d hit that”
    “A-Rod get real: these days you couldn’t hit Kim Kadashian’s ass if the pitcher rolled it over the grass to you, let alone that chick over there.”

  4. Rihanna Nipple Ring See Through Dress
    TTballs
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes sleeve tattoos are art – until they age, then it looks moldy cheese. You say she likes girls? No way…

  5. Carlos Santana Fanny Pack
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Off-camera guy: “One–you just performed as Justin Bieber’s guitarist on network television; two–you’re wearing that vest; three–you’re wearing a fanny pack with that vest; and four–you’re wearing a hat and holding a hat.”

    Carlos Santana: “Jeah. So wha?”

  6. Ronnie Ortiz-Magro
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    Probably his doctor who just told him he has contracted a new STD and smiling hoping this idiot does not roid out and punch him.

    Or maybe his doctor telling him he can’t provide him with steroids anymore.

  7. Britney Spears Crazy Smile
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    “Help me” the face says it all.

  8. Seal Shirtless Snow Angel Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s a Newfie with a club, when you really need one?

  9. Karissa Shannon Kristina Shannon Cleavage Midriff
    LadyLynna
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, gender reassignment sure has come a long way!

  10. Carlos Santana Fanny Pack
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    Not sure what is worse, the fanny pack or the women’s shirt he has on.

  11. Rihanna Nipple Ring See Through Dress
    tbone mcgiggins
    Commented on this photo:

    pretty sure that’s her lesbian bodygaurd

  12. Karissa Shannon Kristina Shannon Cleavage Midriff
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh goody, a stupid underboob tattoo, just in case you were not sure if they were trashy before.

  13. Melanie Griffith Weird Hat Tights
    Commented on this photo:

    Lady Elaine?

  14. Seal Shirtless Snow Angel Twitter
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    He is black so the possibility of this being fake snow is about 100%.

  15. George Clooney Alex Rodriguez Binoculars
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh my gosh, look, she’s opening it. Yeah, that’s right, no autographed ball. Thanks for the blow jobs bitch, hee hee hee”.

  16. Lady Gaga Tight Bodysuit
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she sneeze and fart at the same time?

  17. Tom Arnold
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    Tom Arnold is awesome.

  18. Lady Gaga Tight Bodysuit
    Commented on this photo:

    I sharted.

  19. Kimora Lee Simmons Bikini
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    When they can figure out a way to keep women’s mouths shut but they are still able to give blow jobs, women like her will be awesome.

  20. Simon Cowell Jetski Life Vest Man Boobs
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, this dude doesn’t button the top 4 buttons on ANYTHING he wears

  21. Aubrey O'Day Cleavage
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    How does this chick make money? She has to be a high priced escort, there is no other explanation.

  22. James Van Der Beek Kimberly Brook Pregnant
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    Closeted gay hipster and wife that looks like she could be his mother.

  23. Halle Berry
    LadyLynna
    Commented on this photo:

    Now, what did I tell you? If you see Gabriel, you swerve TOWARDS him.

  24. Melanie Griffith Weird Hat Tights
    Commented on this photo:

    So, they sent in the clown.

  25. Halle Berry
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    “What say that again?, I can’t hear you out of this ear, this is the one that David Justice hit and I can’t hear out of anymore”

  26. Sophie Monk
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like she is in a hurry, must be late to her next john, I mean client, I mean date…

  27. Snooki Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Nuthin’ like a greased pig at New Years!

  28. The Situation Karate Kick
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    These tools time is almost over and the best part is they have zero talent or skills so there is no chance of them turning up and doing concerts in malls or reunion shows like the Backstreet Boys or any other boy bands.

  29. The Situation Karate Kick
    LadyLynna
    Commented on this photo:

    … So then they asked me if I was flexible, and I was like, of course I’m fucking flexible, I’m the Situation. I dunno what that has to do with baseball though… anyhow, they hired me as their new catcher on the spot!

  30. Bethenny Frankel
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    If he wasn’t dressed like that the bully might leave him alone

  31. Fergie Sen Dog
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty sure hers says “I am a man” and his says “Hell yeah she is”.

  32. Melanie Griffith Weird Hat Tights
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope to god she is dressed up like this for a part in a Tim Burton movie.

  33. Elle Macpherson Bikini
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    So that’s what a uterus looks like

  34. Melanie Griffith Weird Hat Tights
    LadyLynna
    Commented on this photo:

    She should have gone to the same surgeon Karissa did for her gender reassignment…

  35. Bethenny Frankel
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    Considering the way she looks, he is the one that should have that looks on his face.

  36. Donald Faison Shirtless Man Boobs
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    If God had wanted black people to swim he’d have given them flippers and some way of breathing under water.

  37. Britney Spears Crazy Smile
    shonzie
    Commented on this photo:

    “These fucks keep buying my music! Haha! Can you believe it?”

  38. Snooki Cleavage
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess the new diet did not work so well over the holidays.

  39. Britney Spears Crazy Smile
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody just explained what The Shocker is to her.

  40. Fergie Sen Dog
    Oz Matters
    Commented on this photo:

    I think the right hand is in the shape of an ‘L’, so I guess that means ‘large’. And the upside down ‘V’ means ‘camel-toe’. So, this would be sign language for the phrase ‘Reese Witherspoon’

  41. Angela Simmons Butt Bikini
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    Why can’t we ever get photos of the hot sister? Always this one.

  42. Vincent Gallo
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Ernest and Julio present Vincent, a cheeky little wino

  43. James Van Der Beek Kimberly Brook Pregnant
    shonzie
    Commented on this photo:

    “Derp!”

  44. Halle Berry
    shonzie
    Commented on this photo:

    “…so that’s 15 for a handie, 25 for a blowjob and 75 for the whole enchilada…whadaya say?”

  45. The Situation Karate Kick
    shonzie
    Commented on this photo:

    are we fucking done with this guy and his band of herpes-laden umpa-lumpas yet?

  46. Elle Macpherson Bikini
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Everything in Australia is around the edges. The middle’s all dry and dusty.

  47. Vanessa Hudgens Legs Short Shorts
    shonzie
    Commented on this photo:

    we’re about due for another twat shot from her aren’t we?

  48. Vincent Gallo
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    He got an A list actress to give him a blow job on camera and swallow too, he has my eternal respect for that, even if he does look like a homeless vagrant.

  49. Britney Spears Crazy Smile
    fattymcgee
    Commented on this photo:

    “Someone just told me I used to be Britney Spears. That is so freakin’ awesome!!”

  50. Aubrey O'Day Cleavage
    Chinto
    Commented on this photo:

    I foresee a motorboating about to commence

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