Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, the first Crap of the year, so naturally we stocked it with such carnal treasures as Mariah Carey‘s camel toe, Rihanna‘s nipple ring, man-titties and more man-titties, Elle Macpherson and last but not least, Jonah Hill‘s wanton lust for old lady vagina. (Legend has it, it keeps him from turning fat again.)
Did I mention Aida Yespica?
- The Superficial
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Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
You would think the black guy would be all excited about Kim but the reality he is more excited about the chick in the blue. While Kim’s ass is fat, that chick’s everything is fat which is more his style. And to top it off her dress matches his tie. A match made in heaven.
Well yeah I’ll blow y’all for a McDouble, did ya really have to ask?!
“I’d hit that”
“A-Rod get real: these days you couldn’t hit Kim Kadashian’s ass if the pitcher rolled it over the grass to you, let alone that chick over there.”
Yes sleeve tattoos are art – until they age, then it looks moldy cheese. You say she likes girls? No way…
Off-camera guy: “One–you just performed as Justin Bieber’s guitarist on network television; two–you’re wearing that vest; three–you’re wearing a fanny pack with that vest; and four–you’re wearing a hat and holding a hat.”
Carlos Santana: “Jeah. So wha?”
Still not as gay as Twilight
Probably his doctor who just told him he has contracted a new STD and smiling hoping this idiot does not roid out and punch him.
Or maybe his doctor telling him he can’t provide him with steroids anymore.
“Help me” the face says it all.
Where’s a Newfie with a club, when you really need one?
+100 (though technically it’s a hackapick or some shit)
Wow, gender reassignment sure has come a long way!
Not sure what is worse, the fanny pack or the women’s shirt he has on.
pretty sure that’s her lesbian bodygaurd
Oh goody, a stupid underboob tattoo, just in case you were not sure if they were trashy before.
Lady Elaine?
HA!
He is black so the possibility of this being fake snow is about 100%.
“Oh my gosh, look, she’s opening it. Yeah, that’s right, no autographed ball. Thanks for the blow jobs bitch, hee hee hee”.
Did she sneeze and fart at the same time?
Tom Arnold is awesome.
I sharted.
When they can figure out a way to keep women’s mouths shut but they are still able to give blow jobs, women like her will be awesome.
by women like her, you mean all women.
Hey I didn’t say it you did:)
And for the record I have met and dated women that I did not feel the need to put duct tape over their mouth. Rare, but they are out there.
I have encountered these women as well, my friend.
I’m become convinced that they are merely an illusion that will fade with time. Like by the next morning.
Venom, you sir are a rapist aren’t you?
Damn, this dude doesn’t button the top 4 buttons on ANYTHING he wears
How does this chick make money? She has to be a high priced escort, there is no other explanation.
She makes a lot of it by showing up to these parties.
Closeted gay hipster and wife that looks like she could be his mother.
Now, what did I tell you? If you see Gabriel, you swerve TOWARDS him.
So, they sent in the clown.
“What say that again?, I can’t hear you out of this ear, this is the one that David Justice hit and I can’t hear out of anymore”
She looks like she is in a hurry, must be late to her next john, I mean client, I mean date…
Nuthin’ like a greased pig at New Years!
These tools time is almost over and the best part is they have zero talent or skills so there is no chance of them turning up and doing concerts in malls or reunion shows like the Backstreet Boys or any other boy bands.
… So then they asked me if I was flexible, and I was like, of course I’m fucking flexible, I’m the Situation. I dunno what that has to do with baseball though… anyhow, they hired me as their new catcher on the spot!
If he wasn’t dressed like that the bully might leave him alone
Pretty sure hers says “I am a man” and his says “Hell yeah she is”.
I hope to god she is dressed up like this for a part in a Tim Burton movie.
So that’s what a uterus looks like
She should have gone to the same surgeon Karissa did for her gender reassignment…
Considering the way she looks, he is the one that should have that looks on his face.
If God had wanted black people to swim he’d have given them flippers and some way of breathing under water.
“These fucks keep buying my music! Haha! Can you believe it?”
I guess the new diet did not work so well over the holidays.
Somebody just explained what The Shocker is to her.
I think the right hand is in the shape of an ‘L’, so I guess that means ‘large’. And the upside down ‘V’ means ‘camel-toe’. So, this would be sign language for the phrase ‘Reese Witherspoon’
Oz is the winner. Everyone please go home now.
Why can’t we ever get photos of the hot sister? Always this one.
I’m with you on that!!! I think the hot sister is less of a fame whore.
Ernest and Julio present Vincent, a cheeky little wino
“Derp!”
“…so that’s 15 for a handie, 25 for a blowjob and 75 for the whole enchilada…whadaya say?”
are we fucking done with this guy and his band of herpes-laden umpa-lumpas yet?
Everything in Australia is around the edges. The middle’s all dry and dusty.
we’re about due for another twat shot from her aren’t we?
He got an A list actress to give him a blow job on camera and swallow too, he has my eternal respect for that, even if he does look like a homeless vagrant.
I would hardly call her an “A” lister, but your point is still valid.
Her willingness to do that is pretty much the only thing that redeems her in my eyes. You’ve give her points for willingness.
“Someone just told me I used to be Britney Spears. That is so freakin’ awesome!!”
AHAHHA
I foresee a motorboating about to commence