The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 1.3.12

January 3rd, 2012 // 598 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed, the first Crap of the year, so naturally we stocked it with such carnal treasures as Mariah Carey‘s camel toe, Rihanna‘s nipple ring, man-titties and more man-titties, Elle Macpherson and last but not least, Jonah Hill‘s wanton lust for old lady vagina. (Legend has it, it keeps him from turning fat again.)

Did I mention Aida Yespica?

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Karissa Shannon Kristina Shannon Cleavage Midriff
    Alison
    Commented on this photo:

    I see empty mouths and both sets of hands, so what could they be “performing?”

  2. Rihanna Nipple Ring See Through Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    That waiter/bartender looks like he just figured out where it all went wrong.

    • Venom

      That’s her sort of ex bf Matt Kemp the baseball player that just signed a $160 million contract.

      • Well he looks absolutely thrilled to be there, perhaps that’s the look of a man saying “I could have gone ANYWHERE else tonight with way hotter women.”

      • Venom

        Then why isn’t he?
        He flew to Europe to be with her when she was on tour there and he went to this even with her. He makes $20 million a year, he can go where the hell he wants when he wants, clearly he is pretty damn happy being with her.

    • Venom, are you related to either of these people? If not, fuck off and go troll someone else’s comments.

    • butt juice

      Me thinky somebody is taking your comment a little too seriously.

      • Dawmiien – how about you stop talking shit and acting like you know someone. YOU are the fucking troll. Lame ass.

      • FUJOJO: Class is about to begin. This is a website where we make joke comments about random pics presented to us by Fish and Photo Boy. No one here is dumb enough to think this single photo encapsulates the entire evening. Like all photos, it just captures a single moment in time. If you were to go through the entire memory card, I’m sure you’d find pictures of the two of them looking quite happy together. My comments were about the particular moment seen here. If you don’t like people making joke comments about things posted then I suggest you get the hell off the internet altogether because this phenomenon isn’t limited to The Superficial.

        Class dismissed.

  3. Kim Kardashian Butt Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Well at least we know it isn’t Pippa.

  4. Aubrey O'Day Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    In what issue did The Joker knock up Poison Ivy?

  5. Fergie Sen Dog
    Rosalie
    Commented on this photo:

    “Eh oh!”

  6. James Van Der Beek Kimberly Brook Pregnant
    kec232
    Commented on this photo:

    Run Forest, Run!

  7. Britney Spears Crazy Smile
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    what a homely, homely woman. ouch.

  8. Elle Macpherson Bikini
    kec232
    Commented on this photo:

    Steven Tyler looks great!

  9. Karissa Shannon Kristina Shannon Cleavage Midriff
    kec232
    Commented on this photo:

    Performing?… Is that what were calling back-alley, old man blow jobs these days?

  10. Bethenny Frankel
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m willing to bet that cup is filled with pureed brain.

  11. Lady Gaga Tight Bodysuit
    Lady Ga-ross.
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it just me or does she look down-syndrome?

  12. Karissa Shannon Kristina Shannon Cleavage Midriff
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    WONDERTWIN POWERS, ACTIVATE! Form of – an AIDS-infested hooker! Shape of – a talentless silicone freak!

  13. Simon Cowell Jetski Life Vest Man Boobs
    Commented on this photo:

    That is a substantial man rack.

  14. Kim Kardashian Butt Tight Dress
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    They give her all the dark meat at Christmas but only after she promises to chew.

  15. Simon Cowell Jetski Life Vest Man Boobs
    Commented on this photo:

    That wanker better have my hot water and lemon ready when I get back to shore.

  16. Rihanna Nipple Ring See Through Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    This was one classy shin-dig. This waste of oxygen can’t even get a decent evening gown; she has to get the slutty version. Then you have the chick with the full arm tat. And lastly it was a Diddy party.

  17. Mariah Carey Cameltoe Tight Pantsuit
    It's the kimkim, bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s dying, isn’t she?

  18. Shirley Jones Jonah Hill Hug
    Mumps
    Commented on this photo:

    I once gave Charlie Chaplin a handjob.

  19. Elle Macpherson Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Ain’t no shame in a one piece, Elle.

  20. Ronnie Ortiz-Magro
    Commented on this photo:

    OOooh you are so fierce! Come at me Sugar!

  21. George Clooney Alex Rodriguez Binoculars
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Since when are Clooney and A-Rod an item?

  22. Britney Spears Crazy Smile
    Commented on this photo:

    So many wasted nights as a teenager…

  23. Rihanna Nipple Ring See Through Dress
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    Well that’s one way to look a little less trashy.

  24. Mariah Carey Cameltoe Tight Pantsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    “See!?! It went right back to the shape it was!”

  25. George Clooney Alex Rodriguez Binoculars
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    A-Rod is staring at a chick who looks like a dude and Clooney is staring at a dude’s ass…

    What happens in Cabo, leaves you walking funny and unable to sit down for a few days.

  26. The Situation Karate Kick
    A
    Commented on this photo:

    The only words that can come out of my mouth right now are “what a fucking tool”. I’m not a violent person by nature but this picture makes me want to punch him in the balls. Fucking.Tool.

  27. Simon Cowell Jetski Life Vest Man Boobs
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    First Rihanna’s boobs, now this? Our lucky day.

  28. The Situation Karate Kick
    Commented on this photo:

    Can people stop paying this guy to host parties so he can start hosting at Applebee’s like he was always fated to do?

  29. Kim Kardashian Butt Tight Dress
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes, a black guy’s eyes say everything about the monster behind the velvet rope.

  30. Fergie Sen Dog
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    I know sign language. That says Loser Chicken.

  31. Mariah Carey Cameltoe Tight Pantsuit
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t the black woman be darker than all the white people?

  32. Rihanna Nipple Ring See Through Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    When did Amy Poehler get all tatted up?

  33. Kim Kardashian Butt Tight Dress
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Not gonna lie, I’m sorta digging the dolled up Down’s girl with the big smile.

    Xtra chromosomes are hot hot hot.

  34. Carlos Santana Fanny Pack
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s Chong?

  35. Vincent Gallo
    It's the kimkim, bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a nice jacket for a homeless man.

  36. Mariah Carey Cameltoe Tight Pantsuit
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a lot of pressure to put on one zipper.

  37. Seal Shirtless Snow Angel Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    As usual, sinking into soft whiteness.

  38. George Clooney Alex Rodriguez Binoculars
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey George, is that Stacey over there talking to Chyna? Can she introduce me?”

  39. James Van Der Beek Kimberly Brook Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    “You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around…”

  40. Carlos Santana Fanny Pack
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m glad his job selling newspapers on the subway has been a success.

  41. Britney Spears Crazy Smile
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    “I think I just wet ‘em, y’all!”

  42. Carlos Santana Fanny Pack
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    does having your name stamped on your fanny pack make them more or less fucking awesome.

  43. Vanessa Hudgens Legs Short Shorts
    It's the kimkim, bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    Ew! Barefoot. Sick.

  44. The Situation Karate Kick
    Commented on this photo:

    Move: Weston Cage paparazzi karate demo

  45. Karissa Shannon Kristina Shannon Cleavage Midriff
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Whenever I see these two, I’m reminded of the scene from “Cabin Fever” in which the guy has sex with a girl and immediately pours Listerine on his penis when they finish.

  46. Melanie Griffith Weird Hat Tights
    Commented on this photo:

    Glenn Close is ready to film “Another 101 Dalmatians.”

  47. Mariah Carey Cameltoe Tight Pantsuit
    Krusty The Klown
    Commented on this photo:

    INCOMING!!!!!!

  48. Melanie Griffith Weird Hat Tights
    It's the kimkim, bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    NOTE TO SELF: never go to Aspen. Ever.

    • Susan

      I’ve been there and it was no big deal. Everything in any store costs a minimum of $1,000 dollars. The skiing is overrated, but the lifts are nice and warm, it’s really only for snow bunnies that want to be seen wearing their furs, and not for real passionate skiers.

  49. Shirley Jones Jonah Hill Hug
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    “I love your neck waddle!”

    “You too!”

  50. Melanie Griffith Weird Hat Tights
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Sure, Aspen has the snow and the scenery, but it’s really not Christmas without a Panto.

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