Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed brought to you not only by Kate Upton‘s, but also Kelly Brook‘s considerable uh, talents. They want you to buy things and you should, because their breasts asked nicely. And as if to completely negate those two perfect, bulging examples of capitalism in its finest moment, we’ve also got Brandi Glanville at her book signing. She titled it ‘Drinking & Tweeting and other Brandi Blunders’ so, you know what? Instead of continuing here, I’m just going to gaze at my state school diploma for a while and sob for humanity.
“Yes Dad, my advisor said there’s tons of career options for Communications majors.” *hangs up phone, heads to happy hour for 50 cent beers* - Photo Boy, circa 2001
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
(shaking uncontrollably)
NO…..COMMENT
I can’t pronounce her last name. But then again, why would I need to?
(I hate you, I hate you, I hate you)
Bitch, be trippin’. I’m royalty. You better recognize. I never pay for shit.”
Old & Busted
The result of Victoria’s strap on.
Gay midget.
One of these men just had his best bowel movement in years.
The other just gave his best rimjob in years.
Whenever I see him, my mind unfortunately flashes back to him trying to lay down a sexy pose on his desk.
“Hello..Smithers…you’re quite good…at…turning me on.”
It worked for me.
Mirror, mirror, on the whore….
“My wife has a cock in her ass in the drive way, all right? I’m sorry if my thoughts are not on the photography of the film we’re shooting tomorrow. “
First: William H. Macy delivers this line, not PSH. PSH played the closet case.
Second: Macy actually says: “My fucking wife has an ass in her cock…” Apparently, it was accidental but they liked it enough to keep it in there.
Yeah, I flipped that on purpose because I figured it was a vague enough line as it is considering it was 15 years ago (yikes)
I’m an inner city thug, no wait, my dad is a multi millionaire.
Under all that makeup is a guy who couldn’t get a part in a Pizza Hut commericial.
Yep, tapped that.
Why does book burning just have to be for Nazi Germany?
Is it just me, or are their names getting more an more exotic? Have we run out of “hometown hotties”?
Have we drilled all the oil, and are now reduced to mining coal sands?
Been to Walmart lately? I’m just glad that we can still import them.
There are still a lot of hometown hotties out there — try going somewhere other than Walmart. Pffft, Walmart. This guy…
who goes to Walmart?
It really brings your self-esteem back after people watching for 5 minutes there
Everything not in the immediate foreground of this picture is a meth-inducted hallucination.
Quantum Leap
Every night, her husband has to tell her that she looks just fine with her new elf haircut and vampire skin.
Her hat screams, “Don’t LOOK at me!”
Her ‘dress’ screams, “LOOK at me!”
Biggies Stardust
she says they are real so i wanna know where she buys her bras at cause mine are real and they dont look like that!
Real fake.
No, stuffing your hands waaayy into your pockets does not make you look like John Hamm. Sorry.
Is this about the Easter Baskets?
Are they simulating some kind of blow job………
“I could buy your whole fucking country.”
…and still have enough left over to buy France and Holland.
I hope these two get a show together – then I can save twice as much time not watching it.
“Luv just grabbed me arse – right thru me knickers!”
In every picture of a spoiled, worthless, self-important twat singing to himself, there’s a shadow with a ball cap on ready to bust a cap.
If I were the pilot, I’d crash that fucker on the nearest deserted island and kill every passenger but her with my bare hands.
Then I’d live out the remainder of my life sad and alone on my side of the island, living in constant fear of her hunting me down and beating the bejeezus out of me.
J.J.Abrams never returned any of your calls, did he?
Plot Twist: schmidtler is JJ Abrams online alias
Nah, I happen to know he posts under “BadRobot”.
I knew Schmidtler wasn’t really a lawyer!
Hey nigga, who you callin’ “Antoine Dodson” ?
Can your hair pour you a shot? Mine can.
Promo still from “Fun House Mirror Nightmares.”
Congrats, Courtney! You now have the figure of a Barbie doll. Unfortunately, you also have Barbie’s plastic face and breasts. Again, congrats.
Don’t forget IQ.
Thumb dick.
And I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I am a spoiled, talentless kiiiiiiiiid.
Michael Bay’s got a new movie in casting? I had no idea.
Do either of these two serve any function anymore, other than for us to laugh at them?
I’ll use a really broad definition of function and give Barton a pass for what was it… the OC? I dunno, one of those shows on fox or the wb.
but von teese? did she ever serve a function other than being a grinding partner for marilyn manson’s asexual genitals? *shudder*
Dita is a model and has her own line of lingerie with Wonderbra. She has her own line of makeup and her own clothing line. And she’s fucking sexy.
Exactly, she has a lot of great products and lines, and she does shows. I understand not knowing what she does, but I do not understand why people think she does nothing. That makes no sense to me, especially when pictures of her lingerie line were on this site.
What, New Orleans wasn’t skeevy enough already?
“I beg your pardon, kind shop-keep, but I have an inquiry. Does the fetching woman to my right come in a size ‘Me?’”
That outfit can mean only one thing – Anne has a thing for looking at the reflection of her vagina in her shiny boots.
Steve Carrell
SKY BULLIES – ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!
If you click “Zoom” that little vial has a warning that says “May cause chin and gut enlargement!”
That hairline means one of two things. Either he has a hormone problem or he’s a monkey.
Where’s Grommit?
Good one.
that pos is still on tv?
“Wha’chu talkin’ ’bout, Ann Curry?”
Damn it! Beat me to it, lol.
Wow, that look on her face says she just might be profoundly retarded enough for me to have a shot!
‘Hoes before Prose’ as they say in Publishing.