The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 1.15.13

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which seems a little light, but not when you consider the still rising paparazzi death toll from Alexander Skarsgard unleashing the Kraken. They found one poor bastard with shards of lens jutting from his aorta. Fortunately, the survivors, though forever marred with a penis-shaped burn across their faces, were able to bring us Jaimie Alexander who should have deleted that six weeks she worked for Merry Maids from her resume, Peter Stormare just wishing Richard Greico would say some shit, and finally, which of these two is more likely to blow you for half a bottle of Robitussin: Charlie Sheen or Bam Margera?

Trick question! The answer is Tom Cruise and actually, you can just keep the cough syrup,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN