The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 1.15.13

January 15th, 2013 // 251 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which seems a little light, but not when you consider the still rising paparazzi death toll from Alexander Skarsgard unleashing the Kraken. They found one poor bastard with shards of lens jutting from his aorta. Fortunately, the survivors, though forever marred with a penis-shaped burn across their faces, were able to bring us Jaimie Alexander who should have deleted that six weeks she worked for Merry Maids from her resume, Peter Stormare just wishing Richard Greico would say some shit, and finally, which of these two is more likely to blow you for half a bottle of Robitussin: Charlie Sheen or Bam Margera?

Trick question! The answer is Tom Cruise and actually, you can just keep the cough syrup,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Jennifer Love Hewitt Running Down Bleachers The Client List Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Totally still would.

  2. Peter Stormare Red Sungleasses Scarf The Last Stand Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ah ha! Take that paparrazzi! Wha, what the? Oh Shit! I have pants on, is my face red.”

  3. Maria Menounos Butt Yoga Position
    Commented on this photo:

    The Greek way of saying hello.

  4. Andrew Dice Clay Short Pants Grey Socks Fingerless Gloves
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    How the TSA didn’t stop this is another sign of the system breaking down.

  5. Rihanna Underwear Complex Shoot Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that CB is back she has a new tatoo that says “Everlast”

    http://www.shopeverlast.com/70-lb-polycanvas-heavy-bag.html

  6. Andrew Dice Clay Short Pants Grey Socks Fingerless Gloves
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Even Nick Nolte is wondering WTF this guy is wearing. And by “wondering”, I mean passed out on the toilet.

  7. Bruce Vilanch Penis T Shirt The 11th Annual Night Life Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I seriously doubt that t-shirt, Mr. Vilanch.

  8. Rihanna Underwear Complex Shoot Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    So gross.

  9. Rihanna Underwear Complex Shoot Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck, this picture gives me the POV angle of if I was having sex with Rihanna and she was on top. *shudders*

  10. Arnold Schwarzenegger Groping Jaimie Alexander The Last Stand Premiere
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t know who she is, but we need to see more of her around here.

  11. Andrew Dice Clay Short Pants Grey Socks Fingerless Gloves
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Raise your hand if you knew he was still alive.

  12. Arnold Schwarzenegger Groping Jaimie Alexander The Last Stand Premiere
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ah used to eat ghirls like you fo breakfast.”

  13. Andrew Dice Clay Short Pants Grey Socks Fingerless Gloves
    Tom Cruise's Magical Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    You know, an outfit like that would make most men look…kinda silly…

  14. Andrew Dice Clay Short Pants Grey Socks Fingerless Gloves
    Tom Cruise's Magical Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Father Time! He fucked me! Ohhhh!

  15. Judi Shekoni Side Boob Cleavage The Last Stand Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I was largely unaware of this name but I will now proceed to booble I mean google it thoroughly.

  16. Judi Shekoni Side Boob Cleavage The Last Stand Premiere
    Tom Cruise's Magical Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Kitty Farmer back there sometimes doubts Judi’s commitment to Sparkle Vision.

  17. Bruce Vilanch Penis T Shirt The 11th Annual Night Life Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Ice Pirates = best 80s space movie

    How long have you known about this?
    First we’ve heard of it.
    Couple of days.
    [Jason and Roscoe look at each other]
    Couple of days.
    First we’ve heard of it.

  18. Bam Margera Zit The Last Stand Premiere
    Tom Cruise's Magical Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Dice and Bam in the same Gallery? Our cups runneth over…with douche bags.

  19. Bam Margera Zit The Last Stand Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere in a dimly lit prison library with shaky internet connection, Ted Kaczynski is finally starting to realize it just wasn’t fucking worth it.

  20. Peter Stormare Red Sungleasses Scarf The Last Stand Premiere
    Tom Cruise's Magical Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    “as you can see I have nothing up my sleeve…”

    That’s not a magic trick, Security accused him of stealing ham slices from the buffet.

  21. Charlie Sheen Drunk Drugs Smoking Cigarette The Late Show With David Letterman
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Tiger Blood Sobriety!

  22. Anjelica Houston
    Tom Cruise's Magical Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Welcome to Coffee Tawk.

  23. Anjelica Houston
    Tom Cruise's Magical Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    No, wait…Phil Spector during a high humidity heat wave.

  24. Bruce Vilanch Penis T Shirt The 11th Annual Night Life Awards
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Andrew Dice Clay

  25. Bruce Vilanch Penis T Shirt The 11th Annual Night Life Awards
    Tom Cruise's Magical Penis
    Commented on this photo:

    Worst. Hamlet. Ever.

  26. Rihanna Underwear Complex Shoot Twitter
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    What a fucking asshole

  27. Arnold Schwarzenegger Groping Jaimie Alexander The Last Stand Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Are all former governors allowed to carry pistols in their pants pockets?”

  28. Maria Menounos Butt Yoga Position
    Dirty Travolta
    Commented on this photo:

    I would love to eat the Baklava out of her butt …

  29. Anjelica Houston
    Commented on this photo:

    She has apparently fallen off the Bob’s Burgers family tree.

  30. Anjelica Houston
    Dice man's nut sack
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet she has ass breath.

  31. Crispin Glover Long Hair
    Dice Man's nut sack
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s this “special person”? Is Jerry Lewis around?

  32. Rihanna Underwear Complex Shoot Twitter
    Dice Man's nut sack
    Commented on this photo:

    Just post some pics of your meat curtains already.

  33. Bam Margera Zit The Last Stand Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet he smells as good as he looks.

  34. Rihanna Underwear Complex Shoot Twitter
    popwilleatitself
    Commented on this photo:

    boundless narcissism.

  35. Rihanna Underwear Complex Shoot Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    shake it like a polaroid picture…

  36. Maria Menounos Butt Yoga Position
    Commented on this photo:

    Most people just stick out a thumb when hitchhicking.

  37. Judi Shekoni Side Boob Cleavage The Last Stand Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    The lady in the background just busted her husband.

  38. Bam Margera Zit The Last Stand Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    The nose ring is only bringng attention to his acne.

  39. Meagan Good Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Good ass! Me like!

  40. Arnold Schwarzenegger Groping Jaimie Alexander The Last Stand Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    There were rumors he was fucking her while they were filming. I guess that confirms it.

  41. Jennifer Love Hewitt Running Down Bleachers The Client List Set
    Commented on this photo:

    She plays a whore in this right? I wonder if she assaults all her client co-stars with three rings…

  42. Bruce Vilanch Penis T Shirt The 11th Annual Night Life Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    At least we know what happened to cousin Oliver afterTthe Brady Bunch was cancelled.

  43. Maria Menounos Butt Yoga Position
    Commented on this photo:

    For some reason thought this was Kate Middleton

  44. Bruce Vilanch Penis T Shirt The 11th Annual Night Life Awards
    Heywood Jablomie
    Commented on this photo:

    Lead in the Michael Moore Bio-Pic.

  45. Amber Rose Pregnant Huge Butt See Through Pants
    Bret
    Commented on this photo:

    I had no idea that she was a skinhead.

  46. Charlie Sheen Drunk Drugs Smoking Cigarette The Late Show With David Letterman
    Renata
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s sort of cute, in a Dean Martin way, but then again that was fifty years ago.

  47. Andrew Dice Clay Short Pants Grey Socks Fingerless Gloves
    Don
    Commented on this photo:

    His mother dresses him funny!

  48. Bruce Vilanch Penis T Shirt The 11th Annual Night Life Awards
    Megan
    Commented on this photo:

    He wishes… Anyone that wears a shirt like that and can afford other shirts, is just a plain, old jerk!!!

  49. Maria Menounos Butt Yoga Position
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    all thats missing is the bullseye.

  50. Rihanna Underwear Complex Shoot Twitter
    Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    This is a cool pix.

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