The Crap We Missed – Tuesday 1.15.13

January 15th, 2013 // 251 Comments

Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which seems a little light, but not when you consider the still rising paparazzi death toll from Alexander Skarsgard unleashing the Kraken. They found one poor bastard with shards of lens jutting from his aorta. Fortunately, the survivors, though forever marred with a penis-shaped burn across their faces, were able to bring us Jaimie Alexander who should have deleted that six weeks she worked for Merry Maids from her resume, Peter Stormare just wishing Richard Greico would say some shit, and finally, which of these two is more likely to blow you for half a bottle of Robitussin: Charlie Sheen or Bam Margera?

Trick question! The answer is Tom Cruise and actually, you can just keep the cough syrup,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Bruce Vilanch Penis T Shirt The 11th Annual Night Life Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Jonah Hill in 10 years

  2. Meagan Good Butt Yoga Pants
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Ma’am, let me help you with your coke bag.

  3. Peter Stormare Red Sungleasses Scarf The Last Stand Premiere
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, you don’t need to prove you have no money in your pockets. We believe you.

  4. Maria Menounos Butt Yoga Position
    horn
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice, now let’s get those pants off of you…

  5. Amber Rose Pregnant Huge Butt See Through Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m totally making a jacket that says POOR on the back.

  6. Andrew Dice Clay Short Pants Grey Socks Fingerless Gloves
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Hickory dickory dock
    I jerked off in my sock
    My sock turned blue
    I’m standing in goo
    And my prostate’s playing hell with my cock

  7. Jennifer Love Hewitt Running Down Bleachers The Client List Set
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    She must have read that Cosmo article: “Baggy Sweats and a T-shirt: They Keys To Turning Men On.”

  8. Crispin Glover Long Hair
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    You can still smell his feet at the security check.

  9. Charlie Sheen Drunk Drugs Smoking Cigarette The Late Show With David Letterman
    Commented on this photo:

    Great Andrew Dice Clay impersonation.

  10. Andrew Dice Clay Short Pants Grey Socks Fingerless Gloves
    Commented on this photo:

    Not the best Charlie Sheen impression.

  11. Bam Margera Zit The Last Stand Premiere
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Boy, this picture just screams “Herpes!”

  12. Bruce Vilanch Penis T Shirt The 11th Annual Night Life Awards
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    You thought you could hide from us by having a sex change. But you’re not fooling anyone, Farley.

  13. Maria Menounos Butt Yoga Position
    Commented on this photo:

    How did she know standing doggy was my favourite position? Must’ve finally gotten my e-mails.

  14. Peter Stormare Red Sungleasses Scarf The Last Stand Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m good for Rolex watches, but thanks street urchin!

  15. Rihanna Underwear Complex Shoot Twitter
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    No, not complex. Just a simple case of “dumb bitch.”

  16. Meagan Good Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought it was Kardashian, then I remember her ass is WAY bigger.

  17. Chris Rock LAByrinth Theater Company Celebrity Charades 2013 Benefit Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    $20? Good lord, that’s a lotta money! How ’bout I give ya .25 cents and ya wring out the dirty bar rag in my mouth?

  18. Bruce Vilanch Penis T Shirt The 11th Annual Night Life Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I knew Angelica Houston wore glasses.

  19. Anjelica Houston
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice wig, Leonard Nimoy.

  20. Bruce Vilanch Penis T Shirt The 11th Annual Night Life Awards
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    …AND I STILL CAN’T SEE IT

  21. Arnold Schwarzenegger Groping Jaimie Alexander The Last Stand Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Can I call you Consuela?”

  22. Peter Stormare Red Sungleasses Scarf The Last Stand Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, Nick Cage looks like shit!

  23. Andrew Dice Clay Short Pants Grey Socks Fingerless Gloves
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    I like how that dude covers his face with the backpack because he doesn’t even want to appear randomly in the background of a picture of ADC.

  24. Amber Rose Pregnant Huge Butt See Through Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess the “whore” jacket was sold out.

  25. Amber Rose Pregnant Huge Butt See Through Pants
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    If she spent as much time dressing as she has bleaching she wouldn’t look so bad.

  26. Jennifer Love Hewitt Running Down Bleachers The Client List Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Of course she’s shooting a scene…..like she would be working out.

  27. Charlie Sheen Drunk Drugs Smoking Cigarette The Late Show With David Letterman
    Commented on this photo:

    One hand smells like nicotine, the other smells like pornstar.

  28. Crispin Glover Long Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Hello! McFly! Anyone home?

  29. Shakira Pregnant Belly Gerard Pique The Wind And Random Presentation
    Commented on this photo:

    Pregnant and still sexier than 99% of women.

  30. Rihanna Underwear Complex Shoot Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet she’s wondering why Chris Brown only wants anal.

  31. Maria Menounos Butt Yoga Position
    Daila
    Commented on this photo:

    Just heard her on Alison Rosen’s podcast!

  32. Judi Shekoni Side Boob Cleavage The Last Stand Premiere
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    face shaped like pizza slice

  33. Andrew Dice Clay Short Pants Grey Socks Fingerless Gloves
    Commented on this photo:

    Coincidentally, ’88 was the last year he was relevant.

  34. Arnold Schwarzenegger Groping Jaimie Alexander The Last Stand Premiere
    Don Draper's Dad
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa there lady. Tell me about your house staff first.

  35. Bam Margera Zit The Last Stand Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ll take faces of meth for $1000, Alex.”

  36. Andrew Dice Clay Short Pants Grey Socks Fingerless Gloves
    zomgbie
    Commented on this photo:

    i feel sorry for the rookie pap that got stuck following andrew dice clay all around.

  37. Charlie Sheen Drunk Drugs Smoking Cigarette The Late Show With David Letterman
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not drunk.

  38. Judi Shekoni Side Boob Cleavage The Last Stand Premiere
    zomgbie
    Commented on this photo:

    tyra banks called.
    tyra banks wants her tyra banks forehead back.

  39. Meagan Good Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Her last name sums her up perfectly. It’s all good.

  40. Rihanna Underwear Complex Shoot Twitter
    mamamiasweetpeaches
    Commented on this photo:

    nice boots, asshole

  41. Rihanna Underwear Complex Shoot Twitter
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    Really need to shave off that boobs mustache, Ri Ri.

  42. Maria Menounos Butt Yoga Position
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve seen porn movies that start like this.

  43. Arnold Schwarzenegger Groping Jaimie Alexander The Last Stand Premiere
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like that creepy uncle the family keeps girls away from at family reunions.

  44. Rihanna Underwear Complex Shoot Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    No that stupid tattoo still doesn’t look good from that angle.

  45. Chris Rock LAByrinth Theater Company Celebrity Charades 2013 Benefit Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay, let’s go! Category: Worthless Celebrities. ‘Cheek’? ‘Cheeky’? No, two hands—‘Cheeks’? Yes, ‘Cheeks’ … ‘Butt Cheeks’ … ‘Ass’? Yes! ‘Ass’! Now, sad eyes … ‘crying’? ‘crying cheeks’? ‘Crying ass’? Cold … no … ‘ass that makes you cry’? Warm? Yes? Worthless celebrity with an ass that makes you cry? Kim Kardashian? YES!

  46. Amber Rose Pregnant Huge Butt See Through Pants
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    There is nothing I can say this picture doesn’t say better.

  47. Anjelica Houston
    Commented on this photo:

    “I want to be sedated”

  48. Rihanna Underwear Complex Shoot Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, that’s one way to cover up a herpes sore.

  49. Charlie Sheen Drunk Drugs Smoking Cigarette The Late Show With David Letterman
    Moo Cow Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s just been celebrating becoming a grandfather… for the past 30 years.

  50. Rihanna Underwear Complex Shoot Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope for her sake she asked Chris before she took his shoes.

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