Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed which seems a little light, but not when you consider the still rising paparazzi death toll from Alexander Skarsgard unleashing the Kraken. They found one poor bastard with shards of lens jutting from his aorta. Fortunately, the survivors, though forever marred with a penis-shaped burn across their faces, were able to bring us Jaimie Alexander who should have deleted that six weeks she worked for Merry Maids from her resume, Peter Stormare just wishing Richard Greico would say some shit, and finally, which of these two is more likely to blow you for half a bottle of Robitussin: Charlie Sheen or Bam Margera?
Trick question! The answer is Tom Cruise and actually, you can just keep the cough syrup,
- Photo Boy
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I bet this guy gets all the ladies.
Gets them to file a restraining order, that is.
“Talk laundry and house chores to me, baybeee”
Lady whispers: Unmarried slut…
Love this dude…
“Oh, gosh. They let one of those pregnant teens in here. Get a reality show, you little trollop!”
Extra Attention Starved.
Wasn’t enough room to Bedazzle “CLASSY” on there.
“I made a career out of skateboarding, getting hit in the nuts, and abusing my parents. How did you THINK my face would end up? Clean shaven and dignified? BWAHAHA!”
Eye shadow fail.
HAHAHAHA.
No chance I’m ruining this one with words.
“Jesus, I’m surrounded by pregnant women in this gallery!” *puts cigarette out in eyes* “Much better.”
Let me ass you a question.
say what you will, but this is one guy i can imagine surviving the Apocalypse.
My bet’s on Keith Richards and three cockroaches before I bank on this guy.
Nothing screams TALENT like wearing a shirt with your own name on it.
Meagan Meh.
Looks like someone is gunning for Tyrone Biggum’s spot…
“Would you wear a hauskeepa uniform for mee?”
I bet it is, Anjelica. I bet it is.
“You there! Can I interest you in some . . . Shit! I forgot to fill my jacket with drugs and guns!”
Snead O’Connor is looking rather thick.
He believes in nothing.
We want ze money Lebowski! Or else we cut off your Johnson!
How you gonna keep ‘em down on the farm, now that they’ve met Karl Hungus?
Sesame Street is brought to you by the letters “D” and “P”
/r/inyourdreamsArnie
Was she Laverne or Shirley ?
The Warlock looks like he’s been on a coke bender for a few days.
His pants look like they’ve been on a fat man for a week.
“Did that person not compliment my toupee? Aw, a shame I have to kill them.”
http://images4.fanpop.com/image/polls/727000/727642_1306352955845_full.jpg
“Cum with me if you want to…oops…too late. I’ll be back…after a 15 minute nap.”
It’s strange that he’s not in the tabloids more. He’s ACTUALLY crazy
I bet that gravy you won’t fucking put down is rich
Hey, man. You wanna buy a watch?
If she’s that rich, then why couldn’t she afford better looking panties?
How has he not made a guest appearance on “Breaking Bad” yet?
One has to ponder…
did he turn out this way because he grew up named CRISPEN?
Or did Mom and Dad just KNOW, and name him Crispen because of it.
CRISPIN.
Lovely brown loaves.
Gotta laugh – not many more desperate and attention starved than she is, yet the best she can do is Chris Brown. And even then he appears to need a little something more on the side.
Justice, I suppose.
You mean to tell me that a famous celebrity in Hollywood isn’t perfectly well adjusted? This girl that stands on stage in front of millions of people every year is attention starved? The one that gets the shit beat out of her and goes back to the guy? Yeah there’s something wrong with her alright. But that’s her appeal.
The Dice Man wears a fanny pack, gets all the pussy.
Yeah, cats ljust ove a bag full of Tender Vittles.
As big as he’s getting, they didn’t need to shorten “Brooklyn.”
Didn’t he get it on with Jessica Simpson before she discovered bacon?
Obviously, Melissa Etheridge isn’t impressed.
I thought Joey Ramone was dead.
Still bangable.
Not only, but also. And she can pick the Ring
She’s my favorite Muppet!
Looks like someone is gunning for Macaulay Culkin’s spot…
Imagine that….a douche in Hollywood wearing a beanie and a hoodie at the same time.
Nobody suspected that when he took off those nerdy framed glasses, he was in reality, Superman!
Poor people are crazy. I’m eccentric.
Did Sylvester Stallone fuck Russel Brand?
Wasn’t he the one in the car accident?
Is she REALLY “Complex?” I’m thinking more “Easy.”