The Crap We Missed – Thursday 8.4.11

August 4th, 2011 // 656 Comments

“Waitaminnit… How long have you been Sam Merlotte?”

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed where I’m going to be entirely frank with you: Absolutely nothing will live up to David Hasselhoff yelling at a parrot. I know I should’ve put it at the end, but I wanted each of you to experience a day in my shoes. A day of seeing something perfect and beautiful, and then being forced to look through a bunch of way less awesome shit that not even such old stalwarts as Blake Lively, midgets or almost entirely pointless bikinis will comfort you. (Although Lorenzo Lamas gave it his best.)

This is my story,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Britney Spears Sombrero Sweats
    Loulou
    Commented on this photo:

    The crap they missed.

  2. David Hasselhoff Parrot
    BalsyMM
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s right, Michael… that’s the bird that crapped on my windshield this morning. Show him who’s boss, Michael.

  3. Helen Hunt Bikini
    BalsyMM
    Commented on this photo:

    Hank Azaria since the divorce? Um, winning…

  4. Tamara Ecclestone Bikini
    BalsyMM
    Commented on this photo:

    Breasts are so heavy… can’t stand up straight…

  5. Britney Spears Sombrero Sweats
    Albine
    Commented on this photo:

    I can see that they’re wearing their Sunday best.

  6. Dakota Fanning Short Hair
    Shorty80
    Commented on this photo:

    “Now Is Good” to grow your hair back.

  7. Chris Noth
    Shorty80
    Commented on this photo:

    Sir, cosmetically removed eye bags get checked over there.

  8. Tamara Ecclestone Bikini
    Shorty80
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she have nipples? Because by my calculations, of that angle and lack of fastened bikini top, there should be at least some nipple showing.

  9. Haley Joel Osment
    Just Fucking Say It
    Commented on this photo:

    Sure this wasn’t taken at “Fleeting Stars”?

  10. Ben Affleck
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I like Ben Affleck, but there’s just no way to defend that Bieber-esque hair on an adult male.

  11. Geri Halliwell
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I wouldn’t kick “it” out of the bed.

  12. Emma Stone
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I would do things to her that are illegal in 47 states. THANKS MISSISSIPPI, WEST VIRGINIA, AND KENTUCKY!

  13. Kim Kardashian Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    Shit, I though this was a picture of two hippo’s under a blanket.

  14. asdf

    Britney a Doors Fan? I really doubt it..

  15. David Hasselhoff Parrot
    Cartman
    Commented on this photo:

    Gimme back my hamburger you fucking bird!

  16. Verne Troyer
    Cartman
    Commented on this photo:

    Grrr…. midgets and antique furniture.

  17. Britney Spears Sombrero Sweats
    Nobody
    Commented on this photo:

    “Don’t fall for it, Jason. I know it smells like hawt dawgs over thurr, but last time I went over thurr, they-all din’t have no meat, just Dina Lohan and she done didn’t have no shorts on, know what I’m sayin’??”

  18. David Hasselhoff Parrot
    Meigan J
    Commented on this photo:

    I see David bought himself a new translator..

  19. Pete Burns
    Noel
    Commented on this photo:

    WHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCK:(

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