I bought this shirt to be more like you. MORE LIKE YOU!
Oh god, the laughing!
GERMANS LOVE ME!
First, it was a CHEESEburger, and second, you weren’t even there! Stop hassling the Hoff!
Where the f*ck is your boss Captain Morgan?
The Hoff will eat a Cockatoo…or three or four…
That bird is now legally drunk.
“I said SIT on my hand, not shit on it…”
Unfortunately for the bird, some jokester edited the Cockatoo wikipedia page and said they’re full of bourbon.
hey ..he thought they said “cocktail”….not cockatoo, maybe he’s trying to train it to fetch him a margarita
The Hoff is not yelling at a parrot…it’s one of those birds that clean the teeth of hippos.
THE BIRD IS NOT A HAMBURGER!!!!
Cockatoo: “Hey David, I’ve watched that YouTube video of your drunk ass eating a hamburger off the floor like a million times… fucking HILARIOUS!”
“Fuck you bird! My CAR could talk. That shit don’t impress me.”
In the battle of wits, the bird has obviously won…much to the Hoff’s displeasure.
Ozzy bit the head off that bat and everyone LOVED it… Maybe if I just…
“AWWWK…SCREECH…Help…someone make this fucking loud-mouthed screaming drunk let go of my feet.”
It’s ok, he’s just breathing on the bird. The whiskey fumes calm it down. It’s an olde ParrotMaster trick.
Everyone’s got a little Cap’n in them.
He finally found a drinking buddy that won’t preach to him.
“Baywatch Nights did NOT suck!”
That bird has him pretty well trained.
The Hoff will regurgitate some of its bourbon to feed the young bird.
SHUT UP, you must have learned something other than ‘Barkeep, I’ll have another double.’
Kids, pay attention! This is what drugs will do to you! Why do you think they call it dope?
AAWWKK Don’t Hassel The Hoff, AWWK
Ever since that shit happened with Roy, these celebs are being huge pussies about magic tricks involving animals.
oh wow most of these comments are lame. I have nothing better, but I’m sure someone does
If Ozzy can eat a bat’s head…
“From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!”
he’s just confused.. he needs help channeling his alcoholic rage is all.. someone sign him for mel gibson presents: flying drunken aggression release
The Hoff, on his way to a street festival.
Don’t you patronize me!
That’s right, Michael… that’s the bird that crapped on my windshield this morning. Show him who’s boss, Michael.
Gimme back my hamburger you fucking bird!
I see David bought himself a new translator..
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David Hasselhoff in Los Angeles. (August 3, 2011)