“Waitaminnit… How long have you been Sam Merlotte?”
Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed where I’m going to be entirely frank with you: Absolutely nothing will live up to David Hasselhoff yelling at a parrot. I know I should’ve put it at the end, but I wanted each of you to experience a day in my shoes. A day of seeing something perfect and beautiful, and then being forced to look through a bunch of way less awesome shit that not even such old stalwarts as Blake Lively, midgets or almost entirely pointless bikinis will comfort you. (Although Lorenzo Lamas gave it his best.)
This is my story,
- The Superficial
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
I bought this shirt to be more like you. MORE LIKE YOU!
WIN.
Oh god, the laughing!
Where’s the donut shop? You promised me donuts!
She’s disgusting and he’s ugly. They’re perfect for each other.I am a 28 years old doctor, mature and beautiful.and now I am seeking a good man who can give me real love , so i got a username sammyshine2002 on–a’ge’l'ov’e'r.c óm–.it is the first and best club for y’ounger women and old’er men, or older women and y’ounger men,to int’eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch’eck ‘it out or tell your friends!
Looky Like a man
stop
What happened to Madonna??? Oh wait….
Whoopi lost weight.
Montgomery Burns-alike.
Release the hounds!
Damn Jason, I may be crazy but I can I know one thang fur sure… You can’t say y’alls shit don’t stink no more.
Um, you’re gonna have to help me with this one. Which is which again?
GERMANS LOVE ME!
WTF is it?!?
It’s complicated.
Use your internet for further research if you’re really interested.
Yeah, we’re just as surprised as you are that anyone gives a rat’s ass about you.
“I see dead careers…”
I have no idea who she is, but I’m willing to review her brochure. Please leave a copy with the girl on your way out.
First, it was a CHEESEburger, and second, you weren’t even there! Stop hassling the Hoff!
+5
Say ‘hat’ again. Say ‘wat’ again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say hat one more Goddamn time!
*hat
typing FAIL
Phil Spector released from prison.
I had sex with Madonna? Holy shit!
Where the f*ck is your boss Captain Morgan?
Looking forward to the hot tub scene in 3…2…1…
Well she’s wearing shoes so we know she didn’t use the porta-potty.
I didn’t know Spectrum was still around.
You sure? It’s a latte…. it’s really good….
With the exception those same urine stained sweat pants, which give her away, it’s the perfect disguise.
The Hoff will eat a Cockatoo…or three or four…
nfw, nice
He went from Shaft to Aunt Jemima in the wink of an eye.
More like Uncle Ben.
Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a sea lion gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.
+1000 for the Uncle Buck reference!
I’m Moley Russell’s wart!
That bird is now legally drunk.
With only seven weeks to go, Heather Locklear is poised to replace Christie Brinkley as the Internet’s new “Hot in Her 50s” star.
Does she have to buy an extra seat for her extra seat?
Still not as gay as Twilig…….oh, nevermind.
If she was going to sue The Gap she should have done it for selling her cargo pants in 2011.
Guy in background:
“Y U NO WORK SINCE YEAR 2000????”
That’s Hunter Thompson’s son.
She was cute before the sex change operation
Jackson is one of the greatest actors of our generation, and yet everytime the poor bastard step out in public, some asshole wants him to sign wants a photograph of Jedi Master Mace Windu.
The ghost of Alec Guinness tells me that he can sing a few bars of that tune.
You know how women always complain about losing a breast size when they lose weight? Simon doesn’t want to hear it.
“Um…what’s Zac Efron doing over there at the jungle gym?”
More of her plz :D
This Michael Jackson tribute shit has gone far enough.
“Is that HER finger up my ass or HIS?”
“Bear Blu Jarecki”? Why didn’t you just name him “Kick The Shit Out Of Me”?
You look Frappalicious!
focus!!!
Whoa…this pic just spun me right round, baby. Right round, like a record, baby, right round, round round.
All he/she really needs to do is find him/herself a brand new lover.
watch out here i COME
Married to Natasha Henstridge…+10 pts., Photographed at Coldplay concert…-1000.
“I said SIT on my hand, not shit on it…”
In case of an emergency water landing, her lips may be used as a flotation device.
What makes you think that’s a chick?
Good Lord! What could possibly make you think he isn’t?
Tits fly Frst Class, Ass flies Coach.
“When I bought John Travolta’s old wig from Nick Cage he told me it would be a little tight but jeez!”
+1
And they say Area 51 is just a conspiracy…