The Crap We Missed – Thursday 8.23.12

August 23rd, 2012 // 577 Comments

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, capping another news day so slow you’d think it was Nicole Eggert‘s metabolism. Anyway, up for your typecast hate-bang today are Tyra Banks proving that crazy chicks still are the best in the sack, Joe Jonas‘ friend just being a straight-up tease, and Bruce Willis asking the heavens why his 56 year old sperm still fertilizes eggs.

As for today’s Final Five…I don’t even. Let’s not talk about it,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Valerie Bertinelli Walk Of Fame Star
    Buddy The Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Hollywood is so desperate these days they just give those things away.

  2. Vanessa Paradis Bikini
    Buddy The Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Not seen: That fucked up grill.

  3. Shia LaBeouf Long Hair Scruffy Beard
    Cookie
    Commented on this photo:

    No offense but he looks like a homeless dude

  4. Jennifer Hudson Wig Smash Set
    King Diamond
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like Robocop without the visor

  5. Richard Belzer Skinny Tank Top White Pants Loafers
    King Diamond
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t this guy die 3 years ago?

  6. Valerie Bertinelli Walk Of Fame Star
    King Diamond
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she eat the star and EVH?

  7. David Arquette Shepard Fairey Topher Grace
    Art Crow
    Commented on this photo:

    Which one’s the tranny?

  8. Jeremy Renner The Bourne Legacy Photocall
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    This is my serious face. As in I’ll seriously kick your ass.

  9. Marlene Mourreau Bikini
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Stifler’s Mom?

  10. Shia LaBeouf Long Hair Scruffy Beard
    dingus
    Commented on this photo:

    He kinda looks like the old guy from the never ending story.

  11. Jeremy Renner The Bourne Legacy Photocall
    Hugh Jazz
    Commented on this photo:

    His tailor must be a Matt Damon fan.

  12. Jennifer Hudson Wig Smash Set
    Snack pack
    Commented on this photo:

    Yolandi?

  13. Valerie Bertinelli Walk Of Fame Star
    Commented on this photo:

    So other than a short stint on a late 70′s early 80′s sitcom, having sex with Eddie Van Halen to produce Michael Anthony’s replacement in Van Halen, what has she done besides be an infomercial spokesperson?

  14. Alice Eve Butt Tight Dress Lawless Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    This woman is perfect. She’s fuckable, beautiful has a great personality and is a talented actress. Definitely on my short list of favourite women in Hollywood.

  15. Dania Ramirez, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jamie Chung Premium Rush Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll take Jamie Chung to go. Fucking sexy woman.

  16. Billie Faiers Sam Faiers Upskirt Panty Flash Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I like what I’m seeing here.

  17. Richard Belzer Skinny Tank Top White Pants Loafers
    Commented on this photo:

    He needs to take his character’s name literally.

  18. Valerie Bertinelli Walk Of Fame Star
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve always wanted to fuck this woman. I bet she’s a freak in bed. I don’t give a fuck if she’s old enough to be my mother.

  19. Rita Ora Cleavage Legs Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s fucking sexy.

  20. Karina Smirnoff Butt Tight Dress Lawless Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t drink alchohol, but I’ll drink that.

  21. Joe Jonas Sunglasses Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    I know Elton John likes young dudes, but when did he get the tattoos?

  22. Kelly Cutrone Tyra Banks Rob Evans In Bed Together
    Commented on this photo:

    Great production values! They can’t even spell MILF!!!

    • Bobin

      SMIZE it may say. Urban Dictionary comes in handy:
      “Smile with your eyes,” as coined by supermodel Tyra Banks on the thirteenth cycle of America’s Next Top Model. Ever since its introduction, the term became part of the daily lexicon of Tyra and her minions.
      ….aaaaannnndd Tyra’s an idiot.

  23. Nicole Eggert Fat Butt Cellulite Jogging Baby Stroller
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy flab, Batman!!!

  24. Marlene Mourreau Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    That settles it! She’s raising her left leg to pee. TRANNY!

  25. Shia LaBeouf Long Hair Scruffy Beard
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    No you can’t have my first born Rumplestiltskin!

  26. Bruce Willis Wife Emma Hemming Baby Stroller
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    “Thanks for adding me to your will. Now keep your head up and cross the street. There are no cars coming I promise.”

  27. Rita Ora Cleavage Legs Short Shorts
    Kitty
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she okay….i’m a little worries about her…

  28. Matthew McConaughey Relaxing On Bench
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    “911…”
    “Hello? I want to report a creepy guy sitting on the park bench outside of Starbucks and smiling at the women going in and out of the women’s fitness center.”
    “Do you want him removed Ma’am?”
    “No. I want his phone number.”

  29. Valerie Bertinelli Walk Of Fame Star
    Gabe Kaplan
    Commented on this photo:

    “Um… Someone told me there would be cake?”

  30. Nicole Eggert Fat Butt Cellulite Jogging Baby Stroller
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why isn’t anyone stopping my runaway baby carriage!”

  31. Nicole Eggert Fat Butt Cellulite Jogging Baby Stroller
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking like that, she should run. On a treadmill. Indoors. Just barricade the door and emerge like a new beautiful butterfly and save yourself years of having these pics thrown back in your face.

  32. Shia LaBeouf Long Hair Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    This dude’s beard smells like kids.

  33. David Arquette Shepard Fairey Topher Grace
    Commented on this photo:

    Fairey should show the other two how to steal work, then they would have some.

  34. Joe Jonas Sunglasses Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    FINALLY PROOF!!! I knew he meeting with the DM on the DL.

  35. Dania Ramirez, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jamie Chung Premium Rush Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Sigh. He really could bang them both.

  36. Billie Faiers Sam Faiers Upskirt Panty Flash Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I might as well be rocketing out of the closet, but I have to admit that I am not such a fan of tits that I can overlook large-assity. Huge tits on an obese chick is like getting excited that your life endurance policy is paying out huge.

  37. Rita Ora Cleavage Legs Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    What is up with the ladyboy dong tuck.

  38. Matthew McConaughey Relaxing On Bench
    amanda
    Commented on this photo:

    I imagine this is EXACTLY how the old man from family guy looked before he was old. you can almost hear him calling over the big strong paperboy

  39. Nicole Eggert Fat Butt Cellulite Jogging Baby Stroller
    Devilsrain
    Commented on this photo:

    Im calling BS on this one

  40. Jennifer Hudson Wig Smash Set
    JT
    Commented on this photo:

    Reminds of an episode of The Twilight Zone where the Drs try to fix the pretty womans face and fail……

    Jennifer not playing the part of the pretty woman.

  41. Dania Ramirez, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jamie Chung Premium Rush Premiere
    JT
    Commented on this photo:

    ohhh if I crose my eyes rike this I rook chinese

  42. Bruce Willis Wife Emma Hemming Baby Stroller
    squishy
    Commented on this photo:

    Micheal Douglas called and he wants his clothes back!

  43. Richard Belzer Skinny Tank Top White Pants Loafers
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Courtney Love looks better with short hair.

  44. Richard Belzer Skinny Tank Top White Pants Loafers
    Ricochet
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like the smoking radiation-ape at the end of Project X

  45. Jeremy Renner The Bourne Legacy Photocall
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    That Bourne movie was incredibly bad.. A total scam.. Completely unrelated.. Watch it for free and feel free to nap, read a book, go shopping.. It SUCKS

  46. Kelly Cutrone Tyra Banks Rob Evans In Bed Together
    Commented on this photo:

    Kevin and all the jealous people

  47. Serena Williams Butt Tight Dress
    Himmie17
    Commented on this photo:

    what’s the matter? powerful women scare you?

  48. Bruce Willis Wife Emma Hemming Baby Stroller
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s raining ugly daughters.

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