Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, capping another news day so slow you’d think it was Nicole Eggert‘s metabolism. Anyway, up for your typecast hate-bang today are Tyra Banks proving that crazy chicks still are the best in the sack, Joe Jonas‘ friend just being a straight-up tease, and Bruce Willis asking the heavens why his 56 year old sperm still fertilizes eggs.
As for today’s Final Five…I don’t even. Let’s not talk about it,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
I would like to leave a sample of my genetic blueprint
Jesus Christ. Would you look at the state of that.
She looks like she can cut a bitch..and she has an ugly weave line.
She looks as if she could keep a person mighty warm through a bad winter but you might have to put locks on the food supplies and the firewater.
I’d need a lot of firewater just to trick myself into not burning her up in the fireplace.
Here headlights are literally shining.
her**
Is this Nicki Minaj’s secret identity? Like, all she has to do when she senses a camera is bust into a grin that shows all 32 of her teeth?
I’m pretty sure he’s trying to ground up some meth crystals using his hands
On a rooftop nearby, the Ghost of Christmas Future is telling Shia Labeouf how bad he’s fucked up his career.
“Christ, here she goes with the Ashton Kutcher jokes again….”
Thunder thighs. I think those thighs could kill.
Her “pee pee” dance.
If Jonah Hill were a woman.
This photo’s caption is missing the word ‘inexplicably’.
What does a stuffed bear have to do with DNA methylation?
I’m guessing she was the model/mascot for the Westminster Dog Show
would pound
Lawless? How about Braless? AYOH!
Pretty sure there’s a bra in there. Pretty sure.
Say what you want, but I think these Grimm commercials are really scary.
The yellow paper is a list of his dietary requirements; it just says “FOOD”.
hahahahahah!
“The Kingdom Of Morocco Celebrates Summer With The Art Of Elysium” Another made up event for marginal celebrities to attend… well, except for David Arquette, that guy’s a real talent.
This is a post-modern interpretation of St. Peter and the Pearly Gates. It has to be.
Is she spitting out another tooth? Shes going to need dentures soon.
She’s like one of those hicks with an old water bottle spittoon except hers has incisors floating in it.
Is she receiving a star on the Walk of Fame, or a Carl’s Jr Famous Star? I think she’d be happy for either.
what is this homeless man doing on the red carpet? it looks like he’s trying to warm his little hobo hands over an imaginary fire.
Madame Tussaud’s work is really slipping.
One more bad movie, and he’ll be back at Rabbi school!
Who Cares about these Nerds??????
I don’t want to get old.
oh jonas, when are you gonna come out and be happy? this kid is gayer than a bag of dicks.
It’s official, I AM THE BIGGEST DOUCHE IN THE WORLD!!!!!!
Your cleavage days are over, Gramma.
That’s all the poor thing has got.
Looks like somebody likes “Exotic” women!
she’s doing the ‘butt out’ pose for the paps. NO. THANKS.
WTF happened to Munch?
Look Out! Demi is about to jump!!!!!!
No, its $25 for a “Around the world” dammit!
he smells like the inside of my momma’s purse.
Hahahaha
Your mom’s purse smells like a beefy musky beach bum who never bathes?! :D
Back when I was 14 and thinking about bangin’… this is the chick I was thinking about.
Work it out, Nicole. The hotness is still within you.
See not a moo, more like an ahhrooo!!
Under-rated hotness.
Shit, I thought that was Tom Sizemore making a run for it from some courthouse or jail……damn…..
Looks like the 3 Doucheketeers are off on another merry adventure.
There’s no way Tan Mom speaks French.
She has been lightening her skin.
Kim Kardashian has been adding black treatments vaginally since 2001.
I find it ironic that he’s wearing a “wife beater”, given that Candice Swanepoel could kick his ass.
Pardon a Me Senorita!
Yo me gusta the way tu Pancho matches your Zapatos!
Muy Bien!
Nerd…..
Janice Dickenson’s lost sister?
Her Red Headed Step Child.
With feet that big she won’t have to worry about getting knocked over in the wind.
He he should be in that pic with the dorks at the Beards for Morocco benefit!