The Crap We Missed – Thursday 8.23.12

August 23rd, 2012 // 577 Comments

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, capping another news day so slow you’d think it was Nicole Eggert‘s metabolism. Anyway, up for your typecast hate-bang today are Tyra Banks proving that crazy chicks still are the best in the sack, Joe Jonas‘ friend just being a straight-up tease, and Bruce Willis asking the heavens why his 56 year old sperm still fertilizes eggs.

As for today’s Final Five…I don’t even. Let’s not talk about it,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Marlene Mourreau Bikini
    Billy Barty, Jr
    Commented on this photo:

    I would like to leave a sample of my genetic blueprint

  2. Khloe Kardashian Butt Yoga Pants
    Pine Table Fever
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus Christ. Would you look at the state of that.

  3. Jennifer Hudson Wig Smash Set
    vgrly
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like she can cut a bitch..and she has an ugly weave line.

  4. Marlene Mourreau Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks as if she could keep a person mighty warm through a bad winter but you might have to put locks on the food supplies and the firewater.

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      I’d need a lot of firewater just to trick myself into not burning her up in the fireplace.

  5. Dania Ramirez, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jamie Chung Premium Rush Premiere
    vgrly
    Commented on this photo:

    Here headlights are literally shining.

  6. Jennifer Hudson Wig Smash Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this Nicki Minaj’s secret identity? Like, all she has to do when she senses a camera is bust into a grin that shows all 32 of her teeth?

  7. Shia LaBeouf Long Hair Scruffy Beard
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m pretty sure he’s trying to ground up some meth crystals using his hands

  8. Dania Ramirez, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jamie Chung Premium Rush Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    On a rooftop nearby, the Ghost of Christmas Future is telling Shia Labeouf how bad he’s fucked up his career.

  9. Bruce Willis Wife Emma Hemming Baby Stroller
    Commented on this photo:

    “Christ, here she goes with the Ashton Kutcher jokes again….”

  10. Billie Faiers Sam Faiers Upskirt Panty Flash Cleavage
    vgrly
    Commented on this photo:

    Thunder thighs. I think those thighs could kill.

  11. Rita Ora Cleavage Legs Short Shorts
    vgrly
    Commented on this photo:

    Her “pee pee” dance.

  12. Billie Faiers Sam Faiers Upskirt Panty Flash Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    If Jonah Hill were a woman.

  13. Valerie Bertinelli Walk Of Fame Star
    Commented on this photo:

    This photo’s caption is missing the word ‘inexplicably’.

  14. Kelly Cutrone Tyra Banks Rob Evans In Bed Together
    Commented on this photo:

    What does a stuffed bear have to do with DNA methylation?

  15. Marlene Mourreau Bikini
    Buttaface
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m guessing she was the model/mascot for the Westminster Dog Show

  16. Eva Mendes Legs Minidress
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    would pound

  17. Alice Eve Butt Tight Dress Lawless Premiere
    Boo Yah
    Commented on this photo:

    Lawless? How about Braless? AYOH!

  18. Kathy Griffin Cleavage Wrinkles
    Commented on this photo:

    Say what you want, but I think these Grimm commercials are really scary.

  19. Richard Belzer Skinny Tank Top White Pants Loafers
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    The yellow paper is a list of his dietary requirements; it just says “FOOD”.

  20. David Arquette Shepard Fairey Topher Grace
    Commented on this photo:

    “The Kingdom Of Morocco Celebrates Summer With The Art Of Elysium” Another made up event for marginal celebrities to attend… well, except for David Arquette, that guy’s a real talent.

  21. Richard Belzer Skinny Tank Top White Pants Loafers
    Commented on this photo:

    This is a post-modern interpretation of St. Peter and the Pearly Gates. It has to be.

  22. Vanessa Paradis Bikini
    rantatonne
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she spitting out another tooth? Shes going to need dentures soon.

    • Joaquin ingles

      She’s like one of those hicks with an old water bottle spittoon except hers has incisors floating in it.

  23. Valerie Bertinelli Walk Of Fame Star
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she receiving a star on the Walk of Fame, or a Carl’s Jr Famous Star? I think she’d be happy for either.

  24. Shia LaBeouf Long Hair Scruffy Beard
    adcomp
    Commented on this photo:

    what is this homeless man doing on the red carpet? it looks like he’s trying to warm his little hobo hands over an imaginary fire.

  25. Jennifer Hudson Wig Smash Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Madame Tussaud’s work is really slipping.

  26. Shia LaBeouf Long Hair Scruffy Beard
    BEP1
    Commented on this photo:

    One more bad movie, and he’ll be back at Rabbi school!

  27. David Arquette Shepard Fairey Topher Grace
    BEP1
    Commented on this photo:

    Who Cares about these Nerds??????

  28. Richard Belzer Skinny Tank Top White Pants Loafers
    Boo Yah
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t want to get old.

  29. Joe Jonas Sunglasses Tank Top
    adcomp
    Commented on this photo:

    oh jonas, when are you gonna come out and be happy? this kid is gayer than a bag of dicks.

  30. Shia LaBeouf Long Hair Scruffy Beard
    Mr Smap Beav Sr
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s official, I AM THE BIGGEST DOUCHE IN THE WORLD!!!!!!

  31. Kathy Griffin Cleavage Wrinkles
    Boo Yah
    Commented on this photo:

    Your cleavage days are over, Gramma.

  32. Dania Ramirez, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jamie Chung Premium Rush Premiere
    BEP1
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like somebody likes “Exotic” women!

  33. Khloe Kardashian Butt Yoga Pants
    adcomp
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s doing the ‘butt out’ pose for the paps. NO. THANKS.

  34. Richard Belzer Skinny Tank Top White Pants Loafers
    Brought It
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF happened to Munch?

  35. Bruce Willis Wife Emma Hemming Baby Stroller
    BEP1
    Commented on this photo:

    Look Out! Demi is about to jump!!!!!!

  36. Joe Jonas Sunglasses Tank Top
    Mr Smap Beav Sr
    Commented on this photo:

    No, its $25 for a “Around the world” dammit!

  37. Matthew McConaughey Relaxing On Bench
    adcomp
    Commented on this photo:

    he smells like the inside of my momma’s purse.

  38. Nicole Eggert Fat Butt Cellulite Jogging Baby Stroller
    BigOkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Back when I was 14 and thinking about bangin’… this is the chick I was thinking about.

    Work it out, Nicole. The hotness is still within you.

  39. Khloe Kardashian Butt Yoga Pants
    Mr Smap Beav Sr
    Commented on this photo:

    See not a moo, more like an ahhrooo!!

  40. Alice Eve Butt Tight Dress Lawless Premiere
    BigOkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Under-rated hotness.

  41. Chris Noth
    BEP1
    Commented on this photo:

    Shit, I thought that was Tom Sizemore making a run for it from some courthouse or jail……damn…..

  42. David Arquette Shepard Fairey Topher Grace
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like the 3 Doucheketeers are off on another merry adventure.

  43. Marlene Mourreau Bikini
    Heather
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s no way Tan Mom speaks French.

  44. Jennifer Hudson Wig Smash Set
    LoveYourself
    Commented on this photo:

    She has been lightening her skin.

  45. Richard Belzer Skinny Tank Top White Pants Loafers
    Commented on this photo:

    I find it ironic that he’s wearing a “wife beater”, given that Candice Swanepoel could kick his ass.

  46. Eva Mendes Legs Minidress
    BEP1
    Commented on this photo:

    Pardon a Me Senorita!
    Yo me gusta the way tu Pancho matches your Zapatos!
    Muy Bien!

  47. Matthew McConaughey Relaxing On Bench
    BEP1
    Commented on this photo:

    Nerd…..

  48. Kathy Griffin Cleavage Wrinkles
    Mr Smap Beav Sr
    Commented on this photo:

    Janice Dickenson’s lost sister?

  49. Eva Mendes Legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    With feet that big she won’t have to worry about getting knocked over in the wind.

  50. Matthew McConaughey Relaxing On Bench
    BEP1
    Commented on this photo:

    He he should be in that pic with the dorks at the Beards for Morocco benefit!

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