The Crap We Missed – Thursday 8.23.12

August 23rd, 2012 // 577 Comments

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, capping another news day so slow you’d think it was Nicole Eggert‘s metabolism. Anyway, up for your typecast hate-bang today are Tyra Banks proving that crazy chicks still are the best in the sack, Joe Jonas‘ friend just being a straight-up tease, and Bruce Willis asking the heavens why his 56 year old sperm still fertilizes eggs.

As for today’s Final Five…I don’t even. Let’s not talk about it,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Matthew McConaughey Relaxing On Bench
    Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    So. Fucking. Stoned.

  2. Richard Belzer Skinny Tank Top White Pants Loafers
    Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Send Eggert his trainer’s name.

  3. Marlene Mourreau Bikini
    Frank The Duck
    Commented on this photo:

    I am guessing here but she was the world’s greatest hand model, right?

  4. David Arquette Shepard Fairey Topher Grace
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Shepard Fairey wants everyone to know he’s into pop art.

  5. Jennifer Hudson Wig Smash Set
    Alice Pooper
    Commented on this photo:

    alopecia all day long

  6. Billie Faiers Sam Faiers Upskirt Panty Flash Cleavage
    Lucion
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me guess… The British Karashian’s or Hilton’s?

  7. Kelly Cutrone Tyra Banks Rob Evans In Bed Together
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Aw, and the brought Sodomized Bear along.

  8. Rita Ora Cleavage Legs Short Shorts
    Lucion
    Commented on this photo:

    Who?

  9. Jeremy Renner The Bourne Legacy Photocall
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah, I totally got the wrong jacket back from the dry cleaners.”

  10. Kathy Griffin Cleavage Wrinkles
    Lucion
    Commented on this photo:

    Stretch out that face some more, will ya dude.

  11. Nicole Eggert Fat Butt Cellulite Jogging Baby Stroller
    Commented on this photo:

    You can do it!

    I want my old Nicole Eggert back!

  12. Billie Faiers Sam Faiers Upskirt Panty Flash Cleavage
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s as if Paris Hilton swilled Weight Gain 4000 milkshakes for a couple months.

  13. David Arquette Shepard Fairey Topher Grace
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    “Shep, what did YOU think when I said we were all bringing our beards?”

  14. Matthew McConaughey Relaxing On Bench
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    On his shirt: “Just Keep Doing Sit Ups”

  15. David Arquette Shepard Fairey Topher Grace
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretentious assholes.

  16. Serena Williams Butt Tight Dress
    Cookie
    Commented on this photo:

    WOW

  17. Joe Jonas Sunglasses Tank Top
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh, you’re making me hot with that straw . . .”

  18. Alice Eve Butt Tight Dress Lawless Premiere
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    You probably should have gotten lenses in those glasses because this is definitely going to sting in your eye.

  19. Richard Belzer Skinny Tank Top White Pants Loafers
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s scary.
    Hope he’s under a Dr’s care.

  20. Serena Williams Butt Tight Dress
    seriouslynow
    Commented on this photo:

    I find it strange they still let this guy compete with the women.

  21. Kathy Griffin Cleavage Wrinkles
    Commented on this photo:

    kill. it. with. FIRE.

  22. Dania Ramirez, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jamie Chung Premium Rush Premiere
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty attractive for a Benetton ad.

  23. Jennifer Hudson Wig Smash Set
    Cookie
    Commented on this photo:

    Her forehead looks HUGE

  24. Richard Belzer Skinny Tank Top White Pants Loafers
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a hard road when your ears take all the nutrients and don’t share with the rest of your body.

  25. Shia LaBeouf Long Hair Scruffy Beard
    eatme
    Commented on this photo:

    o wow, i just noticed, i think this guy is a jew

  26. Rita Ora Cleavage Legs Short Shorts
    theoriginal LJ
    Commented on this photo:

    Britain’s Lady Gaga?

  27. Rita Ora Cleavage Legs Short Shorts
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    If you’re gonna dress like a crazy bimbo at least take some pride in it…stand up tall and stick those tits out.

  28. Rita Ora Cleavage Legs Short Shorts
    Cookie
    Commented on this photo:

    Shes the UK version of Rihanna

  29. Bruce Willis Wife Emma Hemming Baby Stroller
    Commented on this photo:

    “Where’s that goddamn stork? I’ll kick its ass if it show its face around here again..”

  30. Jennifer Hudson Wig Smash Set
    elephantman
    Commented on this photo:

    Man oh man she is sure ugly!

  31. Kathy Griffin Cleavage Wrinkles
    theoriginal LJ
    Commented on this photo:

    Time for another trip to the face lift doctor.

  32. Marlene Mourreau Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    NON NON NON!

  33. Khloe Kardashian Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    What? No “MOOs” on this one? What the hell is wrong with you people?

  34. Alice Eve Butt Tight Dress Lawless Premiere
    seriouslynow
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d love to put some dick in her world.

  35. Kathy Griffin Cleavage Wrinkles
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s the lucky guy?

  36. Nicole Eggert Fat Butt Cellulite Jogging Baby Stroller
    Commented on this photo:

    She just saw the hot now sign light up at the krispy kreme

  37. Kathy Griffin Cleavage Wrinkles
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Belzer in drag?

  38. David Arquette Shepard Fairey Topher Grace
    cp3
    Commented on this photo:

    Something’s fruity about this picture. And I’m not talking about the banana.

  39. Jeremy Renner The Bourne Legacy Photocall
    Uncle J
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he trying out for the title role of “Leperchaun III : Ryan Seacrest”?

  40. Khloe Kardashian Butt Yoga Pants
    elephantman
    Commented on this photo:

    What didn’t she just do a cover shoot for some magazine in a bikini? She must have gorged herself right after!

    Heres your MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Doc.

  41. Eva Mendes Legs Minidress
    YAAR
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes please.

  42. Valerie Bertinelli Walk Of Fame Star
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously? For what? Being third or fourth billed on perhaps the crappiest 70s sitcom ever. Tell me they’re not just handing these things out these days.

  43. Jennifer Hudson Wig Smash Set
    seriouslynow
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like LL Cool J in drag.

  44. Kathy Griffin Cleavage Wrinkles
    Biff
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s Carrot Top in drag….man.

  45. Billie Faiers Sam Faiers Upskirt Panty Flash Cleavage
    elephantman
    Commented on this photo:

    FUN BAGS! I’d hit em! I like BIG chicks with big BOOBS! The name says it all!

  46. Kathy Griffin Cleavage Wrinkles
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She puts so much into obtaining “beauty”, but doesn’t get very much for her investments.

  47. Valerie Bertinelli Walk Of Fame Star
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m assuming you meant receiving a steak

  48. Kelly Cutrone Tyra Banks Rob Evans In Bed Together
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re just gonna keep shoving that show down our throats huh? Does anyone ever notice that none of the models have ever become top models? So why is it still around, just fucking end it already.

  49. Kathy Griffin Cleavage Wrinkles
    phffft...
    Commented on this photo:

    Thought it was Peggy Bundy…

    • Blech

      I thought it as Peggy Bundy’s mom.

      But then I remember Al saying that Milwaukee was the city they built around Peg’s mother. So, she’s not this thin…

  50. Marlene Mourreau Bikini
    elephantman
    Commented on this photo:

    Not that bad from behind!

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