The Crap We Missed – Thursday 8.21.14

August 21st, 2014 // 365 Comments

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed that starts with butt and ends with classic butt and has nothing to do with Nicki Minaj which, after yesterday, is astonishing because I could have sworn she absorbed them all. Even today, when I close my eyes, I only see those weird sun spot lights, but in the shape of two hippos sharing dental floss. Anyway, none of that has anything to do with Sean Connery and I bring that up because I inadvertently found the greatest anecdote about his life while googling his wife’s name. It’s from 2013, you can read it here, then come back and we’ll discuss how this somehow didn’t make national headlines complete with a hero’s parade and Medal of Honor ceremony.

Get Sarah Palin on the phone, I’m ready to support Obama’s impeachment now,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Serena Williams Cleavage Muscular Legs Minidress Delta Airlines Open Mic Night
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a man. Typical telltale sign of this is how many of her heads would fit shoulder to shoulder.

    Answer, 3 for a man, and there you have it.

  2.  Sean Connery Wife Micheline Roquebrune
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Damnit, it’s been 55 years since I last saw him, and I even married you at his request. Now go tell King Brian to give me his pot of gold already!”

  3. Maitland Ward Cleavage Legs Minidress Americas Next Top Model Cycle 21 Premiere Party
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s the deal anyways….I think she’s hot. I’d fuck her into next Sunday and beyond. For free even.

  4. Shannon Doherty Hiding Behind Suitcase LAX
    bernard
    Commented on this photo:

    her face just keeps getting more warped

  5. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain Neckbeard Sandwich Backwards Hat
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    When Seth Rogen is going to stage an intervention for you, it might be time to re-evaluate your choices in life.

  6. Dakota Fanning Jamie Strachan Holding Hands
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does he look like Matthew Perry circa 1997?

  7.  Sean Connery Wife Micheline Roquebrune
    Commented on this photo:

    Reminds me of the old witch from howl’s moving castle.

    http://static.thecia.com.au/reviews/h/howl-s-moving-castle-3.jpg

  8. Serena Williams Cleavage Muscular Legs Minidress Delta Airlines Open Mic Night
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s currently training to take over as Bombaata in The Legend of Conan.

  9. Demi Lovato Wilmer Valderrama Disneyland
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, we’ve been here two hours and there haven’t been any Amber alerts. Way to keep it in your pants pervert.”

  10. Eva Longoria Butt Tight Floral Pants
    Yum
    Commented on this photo:

    She forgot that these were the pants she wore last month when she did it in the car doggy-style during her period.

  11. Draya Michele Cleavage Tight Dress
    E.T.
    Commented on this photo:

    “Meep…meep-meep…beep…whoops, I mean, hello!”

  12. Tyra Banks Butt Tight Dress Derpface Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s looking for that Extra bucket of wings.

  13. Fred Durst Scruffy Beard Stupid Hat Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    “When Loser Met Riff Raff”

  14. Serena Williams Cleavage Muscular Legs Minidress Delta Airlines Open Mic Night
    Caroline Wozniacki
    Commented on this photo:

    With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound
    S/he pulls the spitting high tension wires down

  15. Jon Hamm Holding Ball The One Show BBC
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sorry Jon, we don’t have any baby’s arms and we don’t have any apples. Will this do?”

  16. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain Neckbeard Sandwich Backwards Hat
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s a lot going on in this photo, none of it good.

  17. Paris Hilton Butt Bikini Balcony
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d fuck her in a minute.

  18. Shannon Doherty Hiding Behind Suitcase LAX
    Discount Dracula
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, I’m not really a skycap. I’m just doing research for my next role. Yeah, yeah, that’s it.”

  19. Jon Hamm Holding Ball The One Show BBC
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit, I thought it was Jennifer Love Hewitt, wow.

  20. Lina Nilson Bikini Roberto Cavalli Shirtless Yacht
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatever money this gold digger is getting from him, she deserves every penny.

  21. Joe Simpson Drunk Shirt Buttons Popping Open Warwick Nightclub
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    Only a matter of time before he becomes Joe Jonas’s “manager” or whatever the fuck cover they come up with.

  22. Maksim Chmerkovskiy Holding His Balls
    Oh BABY
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, I’ll be happy to take a big piece of Maksim.

  23. Chris Brown Gold Grill Mouth Open Karrueche Tran Team USA Game
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know why the dude next to him looks so scared, he’s not a woman so no chance he is going to get beat up by Brown and he’s not in Ferguson.

  24. Demi Lovato Wilmer Valderrama Disneyland
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    Are they like a pedo-predator couple that stalks their victims together?

  25. Patrick Schwarzenegger Crazy Haircut If I Stay Premiere
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy is the face of lazy, rich, trust fund kid.

  26. Ryan Seacrest Showing Stomach To Girlfriend Shayna Taylor Yacht
    jorge
    Commented on this photo:

    bitch it ain’t gonna suck itself!

  27. Fred Durst Scruffy Beard Stupid Hat Chateau Marmont
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    I love how Riff Raff is still such a loser that he can’t get a mention but Fred Durst does.

  28. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans
    wayners
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor Duffster, all she seems to do is get in and out of cars, in and out of cars, over and over. Every once in a while she fuels one up.

  29. Draya Michele Cleavage Tight Dress
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    She has a killer body. Mega gold digger though.

  30. Serena Williams Cleavage Muscular Legs Minidress Delta Airlines Open Mic Night
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    What kind of straight man sees her and says “man, I really want to date her and have sex with her”?

  31. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    The G-Wagen, an absolute necessity of navigating the mean streets of LA where it never fucking snows.

  32. Kathy Griffin Crazy Devil Face The Late Show With David Letterman
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s like some kind of ginger Morticia.

  33.  Sean Connery Wife Micheline Roquebrune
    Ped
    Commented on this photo:

    What the hell is that??? Some kind of troll???

  34. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain Neckbeard Sandwich Backwards Hat
    Ped
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus he gets bigger every photo I see of him! Widescreen was designed for him!!!

  35. Chris Brown Gold Grill Mouth Open Karrueche Tran Team USA Game
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    Ooh… he’s about to give the WRONG person a taste of the back of his hand!

  36. Ryan Seacrest Showing Stomach To Girlfriend Shayna Taylor Yacht
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    That makes two of ‘em.

  37. Kathy Griffin Crazy Devil Face The Late Show With David Letterman
    Ped
    Commented on this photo:

    Eeeeek! Who said Beetlejuice three times!!!!

  38. Shannon Doherty Hiding Behind Suitcase LAX
    GruntledandWhelmed
    Commented on this photo:

    Alright, let me get this straight…I have 2 for the Hilton, 1 for the Marriott and 2 for the Beverly Wilshire.

  39. Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, that’s about what salt water and sun did to my hair when I went to Cuba and Barbados, too.

  40. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain Neckbeard Sandwich Backwards Hat
    Suck It Trebek
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s about to charge!

  41. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain Neckbeard Sandwich Backwards Hat
    dreamcrusher
    Commented on this photo:

    He is ready for the lead role in his new movie Henry VIII : The Gout Years.

  42. Tyra Banks Butt Tight Dress Derpface Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    Well doesn’t this photo just juxtapose perfectly with the last one.

  43. Shannon Doherty Hiding Behind Suitcase LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    What heavy object will you be hefting when a pap decides to flip into continuous high speed so he can burst-shoot and later choose the one with the funniest facial expression?

  44. Perry Farrell Wearing Scarf Chugging Wine On Stage Brixton Academy
    dreamcrusher
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care what anyone says. Joan Baez still looks good to me.

  45. Perry Farrell Wearing Scarf Chugging Wine On Stage Brixton Academy
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    Awesome dude.

  46. Raven-Symone Cleavage Purple Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    i have sheets like that.

  47. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain Neckbeard Sandwich Backwards Hat
    Michael Buble
    Commented on this photo:

    Lots of money, access to resources, access to dieticians, trainers, gyms. Dude must be incredibly unhappy to be at this stage.

  48. Serena Williams Cleavage Muscular Legs Minidress Delta Airlines Open Mic Night
    Michael Buble
    Commented on this photo:

    “Anybody hear that? It’s um.. it’s an impact tremor, that’s what that is. I’m fairly alarmed here.”

  49. Maksim Chmerkovskiy Holding His Balls
    Commented on this photo:

    “…now let’s see, where did i put that chapstick…”

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