The Crap We Missed – Thursday 8.18.11

August 18th, 2011 // 350 Comments

“If Tom says this is Suri, then this is Suri. Hello, Suri, how are you today? What’s that? Daddy’s re-educating the real you? Hahaha! Silly goose.”

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Halle Berry about to break her foot off in the paparazzi’s ass (If you notice she’s not wearing the proper footwear, you’re doing it wrong.), how I want from my coffee from now on and Blake Lively confusing me for a rearview mirror which happens way often than you’d think. I’m very reflective.

Is Akon officially white now? Can we get a ruling on that?

- The Superficial

The Crap We Missed

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Halle Berry Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    She can’t believe that there are Paps all over the place in L.A. taking pictures of famous people in public.

  2. Imogen Thomas Tight Dress
    Lemmiwinks
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey-up, I’ll pay you five quid to french kiss that ginger lass…

  3. Halle Berry Cleavage
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    What? You never seen a skinny black woman without a bra? Oh! Really? You haven’t?

  4. David Arquette
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Why yes, I am a former WCW World Heavyweight Champion

  5. Jude Law Scruffy Beard
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Jude Law and Dude Love are cousins

  6. Jude Law Scruffy Beard
    zomgbie
    Commented on this photo:

    cad.

  7. Christopher Mintz-Plasse
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    Could he be more Jewish?

  8. Lacey Schwimmer Kyle Massey
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    We brought our white woman for sacrifice…can I get an Amen?

  9. Akon Segway
    Doll's Eyes
    Commented on this photo:

    Still not as gay as Twilight.

  10. Katie Price
    Doll's Eyes
    Commented on this photo:

    Princess? How about Fucktard #2 instead?

  11. Christopher Mintz-Plasse
    Lynx
    Commented on this photo:

    McLovin

  12. Prince Charles
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    Try and pull that shit with his mother and see what happens. It may not be done in public anymore but you know that bitch is still cutting off heads.

  13. Imogen Thomas Tight Dress
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    That little girl just got her first boner.

  14. Blake Lively Nipples No Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    Her boob job has left her with a permanent titty hard on. I decided.

  15. Imogen Thomas Tight Dress
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    As if things weren’t bad enough, the Aunt Jemima treatment’s freaking ridiculous!

  16. Akon Segway
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Nigga stole my rims! Niggas stole by engine! Niggas stole my seats! Niggas stole my radio! Niggas even stole my steering wheel! Shit! I’m moving in with my auntie and uncle in Bel Air!

  17. Imogen Thomas Tight Dress
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    She must not be commando. The crowds too small.

  18. Katie Price
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow she’s retarded. Princess? Are her other kids named Unicorn and Pony?

  19. Imogen Thomas Tight Dress
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn you Fish, now my right forearm is sore…

  20. Jude Law Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    Growing a large beard does not make you look less bald.

  21. Imogen Thomas Tight Dress
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to know just what the hell is happening?

  22. Christopher Mintz-Plasse
    Commented on this photo:

    You look like a current pedophile in this picture.

    • Coco

      Actually, it also looks like the adult simulation of someone who was abducted as a child. The cycle perpetuates itself.

  23. Jennifer Morrison Butt Tight Jeans
    PoorMaryKelly
    Commented on this photo:

    If she bends over or sits down give her a wide berth cuz that butt seam’s doing all it can. Reminds me of Jordache jeans that took 30 minutes to zip and button laying down.

  24. Blake Lively Nipples No Bra
    tito
    Commented on this photo:

    “five seconds later, lively realized ‘puppy shot put’ would never be the olympic sport she had dreamed it might be.”

  25. Katie Holmes
    JANE
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow Suri grew over night!

  26. David Arquette
    tito
    Commented on this photo:

    “i don’t often drink beer, but when i do, i drink all of it.”

  27. Jude Law Scruffy Beard
    tito
    Commented on this photo:

    “when you’re a jet, you’re a jet all the way, from your first cigarette to your last dying day…”

  28. Satan

    At least she is sort of smiling. That’s something right? RIGHT?!?! Lol.

  29. Katie Holmes
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit.
    She looks seriously void of any intelligence or life.

    All jokes aside she looks majorly fucked up.

  30. Akon Segway
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a fucking Gucci Fanny Pack?

  31. Blake Lively Nipples No Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    This girl needs to learn that you don’t do your touchdown celebration until after you spike the dog.

  32. Akon Segway
    Commented on this photo:

    Is Floyd Mayweather getting his hair cut again?

  33. Jude Law Scruffy Beard
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    snappy dresser.

  34. Salma Hayek Wig
    Commented on this photo:

    TJ Maxx strikes again. Only this time it struck my memories and erection.

  35. Akon Segway
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care if it is Gucci, a fanny pack is a fanny pack. FAIL.

  36. Cat Deely Samsung Galaxy
    a13e
    Commented on this photo:

    Samsung Galaxy? do the mean the boring normal one or the galaxy s2 I’ve had for 4 months now… geez your so behind…. ahahhahaha

  37. Bar Refaeli Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    $20 says he’s a gym teacher from Queens.

  38. Blake Lively Nipples No Bra
    Alexandrov Fedoseev
    Commented on this photo:

    Does this mean she was pregnant the whole time? Because if she had a son with Leo that’s exactly what he would look like,

  39. Reese Witherspoon
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck the trout pout. The trout gulp is where it’s at.

  40. Halle Berry Cleavage
    Alex
    Commented on this photo:

    “Aw, hell nah mafucker! Jus’ ’cause I be fucking crackers don’t mean I ain’t go all ghetto. I am black, bitch! Here, hold ‘dis child and my gold teefes!”

  41. Katie gives good face, can’t argue with that.

  42. Jude Law Scruffy Beard
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s about to go all Joaquin Phoenix on us, isn’t he?

  43. Salma Hayek Wig
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    Dang, thought it was Demi Moore in mom jeans.

  44. Jude Law Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me show you… Derelicte! It is a fashion. A way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique. And I want you Jude, to be the face, the image, nay the spirit, of Derelicte.

  45. Katie Price
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    At least her thumb doesn’t taste like silicone and desperation.

  46. Lacey Schwimmer Kyle Massey
    Commented on this photo:

    I smell a hernia!

  47. Christopher Mintz-Plasse
    Commented on this photo:

    McUnemployed.

    • TomFrank

      If by “unemployed,” you mean, appearing in Fright Night and three movies slated to come out next year and currently filming a fourth and signed on to reprise his voice role in the How to Train Your Dragon sequel—you should be so unemployed.

  48. Halle Berry Cleavage
    swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, these belong to ME! Here’s a preview; if you wanna see them both, go rent Swordfish”, said the baby.

  49. Prince Charles
    Commented on this photo:

    Prince Charles meeting with victims of the recent laugh riots in London.

  50. Jude Law Scruffy Beard
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    Yukon Cornelius lost his toque.

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