Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, where it turns out Molly Ringwald has been a porno librarian this whole time, we begin casting for A Lindsay Lohan Carol, set at Chateau Marmont, with Janice Dickinson as The Ghost of Cocaine Future, and how the hell can Tom Sizemore still afford blow when he has to keep buying a new one of these for every red carpet appearance? Oh right, murder. I forgot that nobody cares when you murder prostitutes instead of paying them.
I don’t know who Jennifer Hawkins is, or why she has nine hip bones, but I approve,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
As I stated with the Joey Lawrence photo…
Holy shit. He’s ugly!
I’ll bet her neck weighs more than my girlfriend. Of course, my girlfriend is inflatable so……
WHAT…???? Why that two-timing bitch…!!!
Is this the actor who played Jabba?
All of a sudden, I want to return library books late and take my punishment.
She looks sexy as hell here…
80′s crush
It’s that “naughty librarian” look . She pulls it off well.
The naughty librarian fantasy never goes out of style.
Lovely, just lovely…
She done got herself a MAN
or dealer.
Lovely…
That’s the nastiest lesbian couple yet
“Describe my new fragrance? Well… let’s see… it has base notes of musk, middle notes of citrus, and a top note of BIG TITS!!! Line-up starts on the left, folks…”
Wow, some girls have NO shame…
Jinkies!
I always thought she deserved to more than a bit player. Mostly due to boobs.
OH FU Taryn Manning, you should be happy that anybody is paying attention to you.
She should be flipping off whomever dressed her this morning
A good ole fashioned game of Derp Ball
I told you to take those fucking F-bombs out.
Looks like she borrowed Buffalo Bill’s skinsuit.
Hahaha… close the comments.
It places the lotion on it’s skin or else it gets the hose again.
“Puts”.
“…and then when the ghost finally showed up, wouldn’t you know it, my glasses broke.”
When you see legs like that, it’s just downright cruel not to put a bullet in the poor old mare’s brain.
How about her hands? Ewww….
yeah, looks like she’s pulled up lame
It’s called “hitchin” when guys walk around holding up their pants because the pants are too big.
Can we just call it ‘stupid’, instead?
There are so many people that feel they don’t need to give their legs a workout, has anyone else noticed that?
It’s the same weird concept that the more buff a man gets the tighter and gayer he wears his clothing.
Thanks for cropping out her (usually barely covered) huge ass and massive, lumpy thighs, Photoboy!
I didn’t even know a person could have hip abs.
Lipo gone wrong, perhaps?
Val Kilmer
It’s not Dave Mustaine?
Gérard Depardieu
Meatloaf?
I totally thought it was Val in the thumbnail.
Cybil Shepard
Hey it’s a Jeremy Renner pose
My Little Crony
Thanks, Sir Nicholas! Good laugh from that one!
I know it was you. You broke my heart.
I never knew the frontman of Kiss was an old Jewish lesbian grandma.
Maude
Stupid foot tattoo
loved her in Californication. but man is she scary-looking.
She should only be photographed at that angle with that lighting. Her face looks shockingly un-horse-like in this picture
Not good, mind you – just not like a horse.
Is that a horse-faced woman then? I say “neigh”.
Why is she carrying a jockey around?
He was a giant before she started draining his life force. Funny, you’d think doing that would make HER look better but apparently it doesn’t.
That’s Tommy Hilfiger
Shouldn’t she have titled it “After the 80′s, When it Stops Happening to You.”
The original title was Obscurity: When It Happens to You, but the publisher figured that putting Molly Ringwald’s name above the title made the “Obscurity” part superfluous.
Insert a quarter and it spits out a fortune card.
I’m not sure this one spits. She’ll take the quarter, though.
I heard if you insert a quarter her teeth fold back.
You never hear Fish talk about how this guy looks pregnant…and he looks like he’s about to have twins.
Twins? He looks like he’s about to become OctoDad.
Does anybody remember when she was a sex symbol?
Does anybody remember when she was a woman?
Beautiful small breasts with nipples like thumbs sticking out about a half inch.
All you 20 something guys who think they got it made for life with your fairly good looking wife . . . take a look at your mother-in-law and imagine waking up next to THAT in 25 or 30 years. Or worse still, look at you father-in-law and image waking up next to HIM in 25 or 30 years.
Someone should melt that thing down and turn it into something useful.
The new fragrance is called “Anonymous” and is for women who want to smell like somebody no one has ever heard of.
Chris Farley lives
Now, push…PUSH…the baby is almost out, Mr. Morgan!
In her bag?
Apples and sugar cubes.
In her bag?
Matthew Broderick.
‘s nuts.
Nice wig, Sly.
You, too.
“If I can’t be ‘skins’ then I’m not even going to try!”
Time to guess how many cats she owns.
Expendables.
LOL
Hello there, pinhead.
Fiiiiine you can have some attention
Watching the clock for when her hour is up.
The escort has that look…that look that you get when you realize you’ve made a huge mistake, and are now out alone in very dark dangerous waters.
They sell crack at premiers now?
“Tonight, you be Lone Wolf, and I’ll be Adrian.”
Damn. That’s one good-lookin’ woman.