Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, where it turns out Molly Ringwald has been a porno librarian this whole time, we begin casting for A Lindsay Lohan Carol, set at Chateau Marmont, with Janice Dickinson as The Ghost of Cocaine Future, and how the hell can Tom Sizemore still afford blow when he has to keep buying a new one of these for every red carpet appearance? Oh right, murder. I forgot that nobody cares when you murder prostitutes instead of paying them.
I don’t know who Jennifer Hawkins is, or why she has nine hip bones, but I approve,
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Where can a brother get some Ensure® around this place?
The “it” being menopause.
I bet she couldn’t even read the English translation of what’s on her arm.
I bet he could look laid-back even if he was being waterboarded.
No, no, don’t dress up. Just whatever you happen to be wearing when you fall out of bed will be fine.
No one has the heart to tell him that he was a cute kid actor in the 80′s–not an action star.
Why do I suddenly want to start singing that damned “Beauty and the Beast” song?
Lamest.comic.ever
So, then I tell Solo that I’m sending him and his punk bitch friend to the Sarlacc…
Looks like she’s headed back to the African village.
She looks so worn.
Wouldn’t you just love to live the glamorous life of a staffmember at the Chateau Marmont? Every five minutes you get the call to either clean up the vomit of some washed-up celeb or call an ambulance for yet another OD. Living the Hollywood dream!
The paparazzi lured her out with oats.
That is the longest ass crack I have ever seen.
That poor girl is thinking “fuck…..this is not what I anticipated when Uncle Tom invited me to dinner. “
And here we all thought he was a complete twit years ago…
It’s time to call the glue factory.
This season, on THE WALKING DEAD…
When I saw this picture, I thought Aubrey O’Day got everything fixed in one swoop. Then I realized I was looking at someone even less famous.
what is it with this guy and showing off his booze-baby bump? he’s like 13 months pregnant at this point
Great dress.
Meat Loaf has evidently had some work done.
Roidy Lawrence.
The paparazzi guy thought that was Alec Baldwin behind her and was bummed when he tipped his camera forward and saw this on the screen. Then he sold the picture to cover the cost his grande caramel machiato.
She’s finally leaving the Sarah Jessica Porker nickname in the dust.
Ugly mouth- uck. She looks like she would look better without whatever she had done.
Real eyeballs, everything else fake … the lips, the tits, the cheekbones. The IQ of a mushroom ?
My lawyers are suing Dreamwoks. After all, Helen Keller knows that I was the inspiration for Shrek.
Before I scrolled down, I thought he was playing them bongos again.
“My tears could have brought your son back to life, but you didn’t call me quickly enough. Sorry for your loss, Sly.”
“Rubber … ball …. is ….. heavy ….”
Honestly, TOO skinny!!!
Legends!
What a disgusting individual.
Give it up bozo
“Here’s my ‘black man trying to get a cab in New York’ impression. And they never stop, it’s uncanny!”
“Wha happened???”
We saw her in London starring in When Harry met Sally. It was so boring that I fell asleep. I wonder if she’s putting her book audience to sleep, too.
GIRL, did you realize you showed up with mah man? Bitch, I’m gonna beat yo ass.
Anybody up for a game of Nerd Ball?
The sex change hormone shots are working for you, Kathleen.
I would stomp on kittens to look like that!
Ew, the thumbnail made her look like that Real Housewife, Zolciak! Rethink your look, honey.
They’re Samesung now. Since they bought the E in GE.
“Ahl-rite! Ahl-rite! So we were filming Magic Mike, alh-right. And the way Chan-man was dancing, I just had to grab his junk, ahl-right. And hand to God, the dude had one ball. Not two. One biggun, just like this, ahl-right. And I said, ‘Chan! The way I count, that done makes you a chick!’ Ahl-rite!”
“I miss you, Lance.”
I find her much prettier w/ the black hair!
She’s so beautiful…nuff said!
why is Mr Peanut on his shirt? Is he trying to tell us he has tiny testicles? I think we can tell my the tightness of his pants.