The Crap We Missed – Thursday 8.16.12

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, where it turns out Molly Ringwald has been a porno librarian this whole time, we begin casting for A Lindsay Lohan Carol, set at Chateau Marmont, with Janice Dickinson as The Ghost of Cocaine Future, and how the hell can Tom Sizemore still afford blow when he has to keep buying a new one of these for every red carpet appearance? Oh right, murder. I forgot that nobody cares when you murder prostitutes instead of paying them.

I don’t know who Jennifer Hawkins is, or why she has nine hip bones, but I approve,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN