The Crap We Missed – Thursday 8.14.14

August 14th, 2014 // 462 Comments

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Mickey Rourke‘s hilariously fake hairline, Yanni‘s incomprehensible throng of tween fans, and that dude who drank jizz in American Pie taking a selfie onstage with Blues Traveler for some reason. What’s that? Stifler was the dude who drank the jizz? You’re forgetting that I have a drinking problem I’m the guy whose job it is to find random asses and post them online. How much satisfaction are you really going to get by pointing out my stupidity?

Enjoy reevaluating your life choices for the rest of the afternoon,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Taylor Swift Legs Minidress The Tonight Show
    Commented on this photo:

    She is infinitely doable. Maybe she’ll even write a little ditty about me one day. Perhaps a limerick.

  2. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain Checking Watch
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Its not a watch, its a compass powered by Zagat reviews

  3. Mickey Rourke Drunk High Wig Insane Hairline
    Derek
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Mickey is playing Murphy in Robocop 5

  4. Naya Rivera Creepy Guy Peeking Up Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    lol. Clever old white man.

  5. Will Smith Eyes Closes Smelling Air Florence
    Commented on this photo:

    I can see the Xenu thought bubble now and it reads like one of Travolta’s diary entries.

  6. Naya Rivera Creepy Guy Peeking Up Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    “ooops…dropped my keys”

  7. Will Smith Eyes Closes Smelling Air Florence
    Commented on this photo:

    “Honey, just act natural, but there is a black man sitting right by your purse. Don’t panic.”

  8. Nasri Atweh Magic! Lead Singer Shoving Microphone In Pants Music Video Set Venice Beach
    Commented on this photo:

    Mike in Pants?? Why you gotta be so rude?

  9. Rob Ford Gritting Teeth Toronto Campain Office
    Commented on this photo:

    Rob Ford and Mel Gibson are having a crazy face-off

  10. Morgan Freeman Hugging Young Female Fans
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s just going to want 3 more an hour later.

  11. Michelle Rodriguez Derpface DJ
    Commented on this photo:

    Howard Stern’s age is finally starting to catch up with him.

  12. Mel Gibson Rage Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Fish, you sure this is Malibu and not Ferguson, MO?

  13. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain Checking Watch
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh it’s time for my between breakfast and brunch snack.”

  14. Courtney Love Lingerie Metro City Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyobody else thinks Courtney love sex would be wild and crazy and dangerous? You know the kind of sex that you tell your friends about IF you survive it, and can show the scars to prove it after?

    No?

    Just me then?

    ok…

  15. Olga Kurylenko Butt See Through Dress Pierce Brosnan The November Man Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Pierce got a little freaked out when he hugged a woman and his hands touched together

  16. Mel Gibson Rage Face
    cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Ayy!!! You’se guys get offa da hood!!! You’se gonna scatcha da painta!!!

  17. Aubrey ODay Butt Thong Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    anyone else mentally picture the photographer snap kicking her right in the spine?

  18. Mel Gibson Rage Face
    Commented on this photo:

    “JEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!”

  19. Mia Wasikowska Butt Tight Riding Pants Alice in Wonderland Through the Looking Glass Set
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    You know what the 1st movie really had a lack of? Equestrianism! That’ll win the critics over!

  20. Howie Mandel Electrical Outlet Tattooed On Head America's Got Talent Season 9 Post Show Red Carpet
    Commented on this photo:

    Howie Mnemonic

  21. Morgan Freeman Hugging Young Female Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    Saw the video on TMZ and he was totally hitting on them. He may not be able to arouse them with his physical prowess but damn it if he can’t narrate them to orgasm.

  22. Jessica Alba Cleavage Bra See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    black dude does not care for it, not at all

  23. Morgan Freeman Hugging Young Female Fans
    cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    And it was then that Morgan Freeman was faced with one of life’s great dilemmas…do you take home 3 Asian women or do you go home empty handed. As Andy Dufrane once told me…you either get busy with 3 Asian women…or you get busy dying.

  24. Antonio Banderas Derpface First Pitch Marlins Game
    Commented on this photo:

    This pic needs a Brazzers Logo, if that’s still a thing

  25. Mickey Rourke Drunk High Wig Insane Hairline
    Qmak
    Commented on this photo:

    “Which one of you paparazzi farted?”

  26. Morgan Freeman Hugging Young Female Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    “So many granddaughters, so little time.”

  27. Yanni Huge Crowd Of Young Female Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    Thinning hairline, sagging boobs and a huge forehead… If that dude is not rocking a knee-knocker, then I have no idea what gives.

  28. Yanni Huge Crowd Of Young Female Fans
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    They were disappointed to learn he was not, in fact, the more-mature-but-still-dreamy new member of One Direction

  29. Mickey Rourke Drunk High Wig Insane Hairline
    Macklemore
    Commented on this photo:

    “I remember when we raised our hands like the ceiling couldn’t hold us…Shit, I think it fell on me”

  30. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m done listening to feminists talk about unrealistic body images and all that other bullshit. Nobody is making women inject chicken fat into their lips until they look like a cartoon nightmare, that’s all on you ladies.

  31. Kate Moss Belly Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    If the mountain of coke won’t come to maoma, maoma will come to the mountain.

  32. Lark Voorhies Sundress Beach
    Commented on this photo:

    Still alive? I guess I owe everyone a dollar.

  33. Bar Refaeli Butt Bikini Carwash Instagram
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    This is Michael Bay’s Christmas card

  34. Lark Voorhies Sundress Beach
    Screech
    Commented on this photo:

    Removing a leg isn’t going to help.

  35. Bai Ling Bikini
    cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    Something about her just makes me wanna put on a little hand sanitizer.

  36. Will Smith Eyes Closes Smelling Air Florence
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    They are remaking Forrest Gump with a black lead this time?

  37. Kellan Lutz Hugging Older Female Fan ABC Studios
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s that uncomfortable moment when you realize the overly-affectionate crazy lady isn’t going to let go of you and security will have to be called to the scene.

  38. James Caan Red Face Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Jimmy, you should know better than to get out of your car at a toll booth.

  39. Mickey Rourke Drunk High Wig Insane Hairline
    Igor
    Commented on this photo:

    Coincidently, the Mickey Rourke mannequin is missing from the Hollywood wax museum.

  40. Michelle Rodriguez Derpface DJ
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dammit, I pretended to be in a relationship for Zac so people stopped saying he was gay and now dudes won’t stop texting me dick pics”

  41. Aubrey ODay Butt Thong Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Annnnnnnd, I so would….

  42. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain Checking Watch
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear Rob Kardashian,

    When you are fatter than Jonah Hill, maybe it is time to reassess your life?

  43. Rob Ford Gritting Teeth Toronto Campain Office
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    If I were him, I wouldn’t like a Mayor Tax either.

  44. Nasri Atweh Magic! Lead Singer Shoving Microphone In Pants Music Video Set Venice Beach
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s flagging down Kim K.

  45. Cara Delevingne Butt Bikini Cigarette Yacht
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah, Cara having lunch, I see.

  46. Mel Gibson Rage Face
    Hmm
    Commented on this photo:

    Somehow whenever I see him looking like this I imagine he is saying “sugar tits”, every time.

  47. Thomas Ian Nicholas Taking Selfie Onstage With Blues Traveler Greek Theater
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    See, this is what happens when you open time capsule boxes from the late 90′s.

  48. Howie Mandel Electrical Outlet Tattooed On Head America's Got Talent Season 9 Post Show Red Carpet
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that where the Deal or No Deal models recharged their batteries between takes?

  49. Coco Sister Kristy Marie Huge Asses Bikini Instagram
    satan'srighthand74
    Commented on this photo:

    Queue up the mandatory Don Zaloog comment in 3..2..

  50. Rob Ford Gritting Teeth Toronto Campain Office
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m gonna smoke that crack after this meeting…. I’m gonna smoke it so hard, my hair is gonna turn blonde again. Just you wait.”

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