The Crap We Missed – Thursday 8.1.13

August 1st, 2013 // 309 Comments

“So then Hayden* was all like…” [*Ed. Note: Hayden, in this instance, could reference Panettiere or Christensen. It’s like a choose your own adventure of penis jokes.]

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed after our day of being chewed up and spat out by the big city, which we feel is an entirely fair way to describe repeatedly walking the wrong direction for an entire block before realizing it. But we’re back in the land of strip malls and thinly-guised racism known as blue collar conservativism, so it’s at least a dance partner we’re familiar with. *shakes fist at $6 cough drops receipt* Anyway, one of today’s pics actually occurred right under our noses and it’s Tyra Banks mauling Bow Wow‘s face like it was Kelsey Grammer‘s wife. Then there’s Tara Reid on what appear to be the legs of a 90-year-old anemic woman, as well as Sylvester Stallone with his Heisenberg look, only if instead of creating the purest strain of meth known to man, he just bought a stupid had and shot steroids into himself for 45 years.

Glad to be home and pantless again, just the way you like us,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Anthony Weiner Nan Shan Center Visit
    Commented on this photo:

    “This man not a plick. He a Weiner!”

  2. Heidi Klum Cleavage Crazy Face Howie Mandel Americas Got Talent Radio City Music Hall
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yes, of course ‘America’s Got Talent’. We just didn’t bring any of it here with us.”

  3. Bow Wow Making Out With Tyra Banks Legs Spandex Minidress 106 & Park
    AndrewMacCloud
    Commented on this photo:

    Did I forget to mention that besides Clitzilla, her Vagina is widely known as The Bermuda Triangle where legions of black Dicks have disappeared under mysterious circumstances.never to be heard of again…

  4. Shauna Sand Nipples No Bra Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    She used to be a stunner. Now she’s been around the block a few circuits too many and she’s looking used up. In fact, she ought to change her name to Shauna Mud.

  5. Hilary Duff Holding Giant Zucchinis Instagram
    Hurr Durr
    Commented on this photo:

    -insert penis joke here-

  6. Hilary Duff Holding Giant Zucchinis Instagram
    caley
    Commented on this photo:

    “What the hell kind of gift is this? No one eats zucchini!”

  7. Russell Brand Whipsering In Mans Ear Soho Theatre
    caley
    Commented on this photo:

    “I don’t want to alarm you, but Mr. Glass is standing right behind you.”

  8. Nick Cannon Holding Puppy IAMS So Good! Event
    caley
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait, when did Iams steal KFC’s tagline of “So Good” unless…they’re working together. Suddenly the KFC Famous Bowl makes so much more sense.

  9. Shaun White Short Hair Playing Guitar With Band Bad Things
    caley
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh man, how many Jonas Brothers are there?!

  10. Aaron Paul
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah bitch, magnets!”

  11. Bow Wow Making Out With Tyra Banks Legs Spandex Minidress 106 & Park
    just me
    Commented on this photo:

    wait, what now????

  12. Aaron Paul
    hamtime
    Commented on this photo:

    “… and so then Hilary pulls out these zucchinis …”

  13. Sylvester Stallone Sunglasses Heisenberg Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    Jeesh…even his wrinkles have muscles!

  14. Anthony Weiner Nan Shan Center Visit
    Commented on this photo:

    “I have a secret…and it’s in my pants!!!”

  15. Michelle Trachtenberg Cleavage Spandex Dress Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry lady…dick in a box only works if the dude has the box…

  16. Penny Lancaster Rod Stewart Head On Shoulder
    Vladimir
    Commented on this photo:

    “…the camera’s flash, when it’s in your face, really shows your age…”

  17. Anthony Weiner Nan Shan Center Visit
    Vladimir
    Commented on this photo:

    Ever wonder what happens to the foreskin after it’s cut off and thrown away? Sometimes it runs for Mayor.

  18. Tara Reid Skinny Legs
    Vladimir
    Commented on this photo:

    If you covered the top half and just looked at purses and legs, I’d say, “What a fit 80yr old..”.

  19. Aaron Paul
    Vladimir
    Commented on this photo:

    “…stop laughing, listen, Muniz used to be HUGE and look at him now! I’m telling you the Cranston Curse is REAL and it’s scaring the crap out of me!”

  20. Shauna Sand Nipples No Bra Tight Dress
    Vladimir
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if the dude who OWNS the car is mad, the hookers are posing next to it?

  21. Anna Gunn Cleavage Smushed Boob Window Dress Film Society Of Lincoln Center AMC Celebration Of Breaking Bad Final Episodes
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, lady, I know your last name is Gunn, but I will still need to see your permit for those two thirty-eights.”

  22. Michelle Trachtenberg Cleavage Spandex Dress Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    dang girl put on a bra

  23. Shauna Sand Nipples No Bra Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Courtney Stodden in 10 years. Nahh, I give it 5 years.

  24. Rita Ora Cleavage Nipples See Through Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    dang girl take a shower

  25. Anthony Weiner Nan Shan Center Visit
    Melissa
    Commented on this photo:

    Every time I see a picture of him, I am awkwardly reminded of Zelda from Pet Sematary…

  26. Shauna Sand Nipples No Bra Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    At least she’s consistent with her shoes. You *never* see her wearing a different type of shoe.

  27. Roselyn Sanchez Cleavage Do Something Awards
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    Sandra Bullock fell asleep in a car crusher?!
    Good thing her head is so hard she didn’t die, but her face now…

  28. Penny Lancaster Rod Stewart Head On Shoulder
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    Rod: ”I’m trading you in for a younger one, I want more babies and you say no. Come oooon, one more baby!”

  29. Tara Reid Skinny Legs
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks porn princess happy. What drug is she on? It’s not alcohol anymore. Sure the drug buzz will wear off soon and the fall will be that greater.

  30. Heidi Klum Cleavage Crazy Face Howie Mandel Americas Got Talent Radio City Music Hall
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    She is fingering the air, he must feel disgusted.

  31. Shauna Sand Nipples No Bra Tight Dress
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    Imagine the retirement homes of the near future. Filled with plastic elderly people, still trying to look young and hot. Utterly deluded.

  32. Sophia Bush Cleavage Do Something Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d change my name if I were her. I wouldn’t want everyone to know that I was related to a war criminal.

  33. Rita Ora Cleavage Nipples See Through Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Scary.

  34. Hilary Duff Holding Giant Zucchinis Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    These are in exact proportion to her teeth

  35. Hilary Duff Holding Giant Zucchinis Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    In the back and in the front. check it out.

  36. Shaun White Short Hair Playing Guitar With Band Bad Things
    Jokely Carmichael
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s an honorary Wahlberg

  37. Anna Gunn Cleavage Smushed Boob Window Dress Film Society Of Lincoln Center AMC Celebration Of Breaking Bad Final Episodes
    Combo
    Commented on this photo:

    Great actress, but damn I want her character to die in Breaking Bad.

  38. Russell Brand Whipsering In Mans Ear Soho Theatre
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to suck your ass…………

  39. Bow Wow Making Out With Tyra Banks Legs Spandex Minidress 106 & Park
    Commented on this photo:

    I like big bitches and I cannot lie, I am little and I cannot fly…………..

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